Yuno's Ama And Diary, Latest Entry 8.3.19

Weekly update March 30th
We did the fitness test for the unit, I failed the 3km run part.
I got moved into a new unit for the Lebanon sector, no one was happy with that.
We got our weapons (shortened M16) and fired then, I can fire five rounds within 4.5 cm of one another from 25 m.
We had our first hike including combat vests, weapons and full clips.
Other than that didn't do much.

 

Weekend update March 31st
Had the Seder at my grandparents at Friday
Saturday morning I said hello to my other grandparents and took a taxi to Tel Aviv.
There Aya picked me up and I spent the rest of the weekend at the kibbutz with her family.

Saturday morning I talked with my mother, I decided I don't want to be in a combat unit. I don't want the responsibility of looking down the scope and making the decision of taking another man's life.
I keep dreaming about being in an ambush and looking down my scopes at someone, I wake up twice or thrice a night. The image fills my mind every waking hour. I'm going to ask for a transfer.
Saturday night I slept with Aya by my side and it was the first full night sleep I had in the last week.

 

Weekly update April 7th
We threw grenades
I started having suicidal thoughts since I fired the weapon.
I can't sleep, I can't eat, I dropped 10kg since the start of boot camp.
I'm always picturing myself looking down my scope at someone and making the decision to take a man's life or not.
When I hurt myself it gives me a couple hours of peace from that idea.
I'm seeing a mental health officer on Sunday.

 

Weekly update April 11th
As I was under suicide watch they took all sharp things away from me, I still managed to slice a vein with a bullet tho.
After I met with the mental health officer he said he'll try to release me from my unit.
That night I talked with my parents and Aya, I decided to stop hurting myself and forcing myself to eat.
The entire platoon went for a week at the range so I stayed alone at the housing, it gave me a lot of time to think.
Today they told me I'm going home. Tomorrow I'm going to get a new job in the army.
I hope I'll get something good.

 

April 14th update
so I went to the base they told me to at tel aviv and then I was told I wasn't supposed to be there
so I called my commander and he said that there was a mix up and I can go home but I need to be at a (really far base) on sunday morning.
so I started making my way to aya cause I got the weekend for myself, then on the bus he calls me and tells me that the new base doesn't want me to be late so I have to go back to the base today. I already got my mother to buy food for the weekend and I was gona meet aya after two weeks I haven't seen her, I just started crying on the bus.
I somehow convinced my commander that I cant go back tonight and the nest I can do is tomorrow (Friday morning) so he agrees but only if I sleep at be'er sheva.
so I got a couple of hours with aya.
so I get to aya's house, eat lunch with her and we go to take a nap, at 6:30 my commander calls me and says that I can get the weekend off but I need to be at a (base closer to be'er sheva and not as far as the rest) so I'm super happy, I tell aya and my mother and then me and aya fall asleep until 7am on Friday.
on Friday we woke up, fried some onions with mushrooms and cheese and ate it with bread and some fresh veggies.
after that we went back to sleep and at noon I got on a train north.
I got of at tel aviv and my grandparents picked me up.
I got home and mostly surfed the web until the evening when I went to eat burgers with my grandparents and then went back home to sleep.

 

April 14th update
I started a BBQ with my family and grandparents.
Napped
Organized my bags.
Got a call from a combat commander that told me to be at be'er sheva at 9am on Sunday.
I decided to go sleep at Aya's.
So now I'm on a train.

 

Ayo you were right

 

April 15th Sunday 2018
woke up super early and aya's parents drove me to be'er sheva
there I found two girls from my mechina, it was really exciting to meet them
I found the commander that's picking us up
we took a bus to the base there we waited for a long time
then we met a high ranking officer
he explained that were gonna go home for the week and start the boot camp next sunday
so I went back home and didn't really do anything

 

April 16th Monday 2018
did nothing all day
during the evening I sorted some bank stuff, went for a drive and helped a lone soldier with a project

 

April 17th Tuesday 2018
Woke up, did nothing until the afternoon
Then I went to buy groceries
I did a little work out
Got into an argument with my brother (he said that socialism and communism are the same)
Watched some Brooklyn 99
I packed my bag for tomorrow and went to sleep.

 

April 18th Wednesday 2018
It's memorial day so I took a bus to my mechina and we went together to a graveyard best the kibbutz.
After that we had a lecture of a palmach member for a while.
Then we went to eat at a restaurant.
After the restaurant I took a bus to Aya and we slept until the evening and then there was the independence day ceremony and fireworks.
After that we ate dinner and watched some movies about independence day on the kibbutz we also went to her cousin's house to see his lobsters.
After that we went back home and went to sleep.

 

April 19th Thursday 2018
We woke up and went to plant a corn maze for the next holiday.
After that we ate breakfast and went to nap.
After that we baked cinnamon rolls (they are so fluffy and sweet).
We also made a stir fry and napped again.
After the nap we woke up, ate a cinnamon roll and went to sleep.

 

April 20th Friday 2018
we woke up and walked aya's brother to the kindergarten.
then we took a train to tel aviv there we joined a meet up of the mechina (about 70 people came)
we ate hot dogs, talked and then me and aya too a train north.
we stopped on the way to buy condoms and took a bus home
then we ate something and went to sleep
after that we drove to my uncle for a bbq and to celebrate my aunts birthday (the whole family was there)
it was great and after that we went back home and went to sleep

 

April 21st Saturday 2018
we woke up and ate breakfast.
after that we watched inception.
then we drove to pick up my dad from the airport.
then we dropped aya off at the tel aviv central station, I ran with her to the bus and kissed her goodbye.
then we drove home and ate baked veggies with salad for dinner.
I texted aya I love her and went to sleep.

 

April 22nd Sunday 2018
started designing an eco friendly homestead, did the electricity calculations.
backed some cinnamon rolls
texted aya goodnight and went to sleep

 

April 23rd Monday 2018
woke up and started eating the cinnamon rolls for breakfast and as snacks, I ended up eating almost the whole tray.
I watched the iron giant, bright and fight club.
at noon my grandmother came with shepherd's pie.
at the evening I baked more cinnamon rolls
for dinner we ate hummus with veggies

 

Yeah. About what again? I don't remember this.

 

Huh, I usually just eat that for a snack, never dinner.

 

You can click on the little arrow to see what I quoted

 

April 24th Tuesday 2018
Took a train to Aya and slept there because it's closer to be'er sheva.