The Evil Genie / The Wish With A Catch

Granted, but none of them counted

(How does death work in DnD anyway? As I said, I never got to play because it turns out my birthplace wasn't perfectly located because convenience after all.)

I wish to get straight 'A's throughout high school

 

Granted, but you fail every Collage course.

I wish for you to PM about DnD so we can talk without disturbing this thread

 

Granted, but I'm too lazy and it's 9:30 PM, despite the fact I try to go to bed at 9:00 so the morning isn't horrible (and why am I here?), so it doesn't happen today.

I wish Trump would start a war with North Korea that doesn't escalate into WWIII nor cause the launching of nukes so that I can prove that Trump is a bad president.

 

Granted, but Russia gets involved and starts attacking the USA

I wish that I could finish calculating the results of my Psychology thread faster... This is legit taking forever to calculate!

 

Granted, but you end up getting the wrong answers.

I wish that I could be level 100

 

Granted, When you reach level 100, your class resets to level 1 and all your quests reset.




(Updated) I wish to purge the corruption that's affecting my computer that comes in the form of bugs, viruses, glitches, corrupted webpages, etc which came from a corrupted program in my computer, which was first activated when I tried to download a mod for Minecraft.

 

Granted, you purge your computer of every single part of it. Good job, your computer is now an empty shell ;)

I wish that I knew if my crush liked me.

 

Granted, but it turns out she doesn't.

I wish there was a female that is my age in existence (in my town) that didn't fit literally every standard of someone who I would want to avoid all relations with (besides from the only female friend I have irl), and fits several of the standard I have... (Don't say "but she's already dating someone"... Considering my "unusual" mindset... It's likely she'd look down on humanity as a whole)

 

Granted, but she hates you.

I wish I could actually do something useful with my life.

 

Granted, but the thing you do is actually illegal. Trump has also reinstated the death sentence in all states, so you get executed.

I wish this wish was a paradox.

 

Granted, a black hole appears.

I wish for fish.

 

Granted, the fish magically comes to life the moment you eat it.

 

Granted, you get nothing

I wish this thread would stop...

 

Granted, but it starts up again.

I wish for a pet fox that is 100% docile and has no diseases and stuff.

 

Granted, but the fox is actually Ylvis dressed in a fox suit.
I wish for this wish to not be granted

 

Granted.

I wish for a bone.

 

granted but it's been chewed on and almost gone

i wish for a good day tomorrow

 

Granted, but it is broken and has no hope of recovery

I wish for an utopian society.

 

Granted, but it becomes dystopian.

I wish for a dog.

 

Granted, it has HIV.