The Evil Genie / The Wish With A Catch

Granted, but we get stuck with Hilarry.

I wish I could be a wizard.

 

Granted but you can only cast lame spells like taking 10 seconds to teleport 1 meter when you'd be better off walking or controlling the wind against enemies when it's really just a small breeze that if anything is a bit refreshing and you can only cast one spell per week as it is really draining on your energy.

I wish that the Genie repents and gives up being evil to instead give people all the nice wishes they want.

 

Granted, but he dies and is replaced by another evil genie.

I wish we had a president that won't cause WWIII.

 

Granted, our president will skip it and start WWIV which is a war that will exterminate all life on earth.

I wish that I could be more online on the forums ;(

 

Granted, but you start being annoying and now the entire community hates you (and you get killed off in Legends because the GM is pissed at you).

I wish Trump was assassinated and his Vice President was impeached 1 day after he came into office. (If you're wondering about the VP part, Pence is somehow worse than Trump...)

 

Nuuuuuuuu

 

A fate worse than dea... wait...

 

Granted but we get taken over by ISIS

I wish Isis would die.

 

Granted, but a new and even worse terrorist organization shows up.

I wish America was actually a democracy (because, when you think about it, it technically isn't).

 

Granted, but the people rebel and the whole world gets nuked.

I wish anime was real. (Titties :P)

 

Granted. Frog aliens take over earth, 4000 people are now trapped in a death game, and America becomes a monarchy and conquers Japan.

I wish Donald Trump was mentally capable of telling the truth more than once a day (Which isn't much of an exaggeration when you look at the statistics).

 

Granted, all of his statements are now true of what we all suspected

I wish I had a dream

 

Granted, the dream is a nightmare, and you scream, waking Trump from his beauty sleep, and he nukes you.

I wish I was friends with a famous guy (besides Trump)

 

Granted, it's Kim Jon Un. You insult him and he has you executed because he's pissed.

I wish we had a president who isn't going to inevitably start WWIII.

 

I wish we had more Freedom.

 

Granted, but that means everyone has the freedom to commit any crime

I wish the Unearthed Arcana Mystic take 3 came out when WotC promised instead of moving it back...

 

Granted, but I have no idea what that is, so nothing happens.

I wish Trump would be kidnapped by ISIS and tortured to death... After Pence was shot by the Italian mafia because they were in America for some odd reason.

 

Awe...

Granted, but instead Trump's wife becomes president through some strange turn of events.

I wish that I had more people in my school to play DnD with

 

Granted, but they're all assholes and your character is killed, and they block any form of resurrection for you somehow.

I wish I actually had someone to play DnD with at any point in my life (I've never played it despite wanting to because I knew nobody who did... Except that friend who secretly played it, which I didn't know about until 9th grade even though I met him in 2nd grade.)

 

Granted, but you have to play with me as the DM!

(also btw, there is a form of death that blocks all resurection. Luckly when my last character died, he came back as a ghost)

I wish I aced my 4 upcoming tests!