The Evil Genie / The Wish With A Catch

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Granted, you will no longer participate on this thread

I wish I wasn't a virgin and didn't get STDs

 

Granted, but you regret your first time terribly.

I wish that I was really good at parkour.

 

Granted, but only Minecraft parkour

I wish that I could sleep

 

Granted, you sleep forever

I wish an actual sky island existed

 

Granted, but it kills anyone that gets within 100 feet of it
I wish for a wish

 

Granted, that wish is for you to fall in a pit, get swallowed by an elephant, and get put through a grinding machine then your remains bought by a raptor.

 

Granted, but nothing happened.
I'm playing too much Undertale...


I wish my friend group could stop all being on the phone while we eat.

 

Granted, your friend becomes obese and dies of heart disease. his/her parents are sueing you for causing his death. You also have to pay for the funeral

I wish necroposting was acceptable

 

granted, everyone does it and the internet dies

I wish geography wasn't a school subject

 

Granted, but now it is required that everyone studies it in their free time.

I wish that the Genie stops being evil because it isn't very nice.

 

The genie didn't quite hear that last one

I wish to be able to interface to computers with my brain

 

Granted, but erhm.....you are now hackable. Congrats!

I wish that stuff that wouldn't kill me or give me some physical or mental injury would happen.

 

ok, you now own and have to take care of 2000 baby rabbits

i wish i had a tame pet dragon

 

You now own a tame and very affectionate pet dragon that is bound to you in a way that if it dies you die and you both feel each others pain but while in the process of taming it you got bit. It didn't kill you but now once every full moon you turn into a weredragon and it is your duty to make sure that your dragon form is chained during that night because if you forget it will go on a rampage targeting specifically the dragon you tamed destroying both you and your dragon in the process which keeps it locked in the dragon state as it has nothing to turn back to once the night ends allowing it to go on and destroy the world.

I wish that I was able of thinking of better wishes to put here since I don't really know what to say at the moment.

 

granted, you wish for unlimited waffles (I'm hungry)

I wish i could summon cooked food at will

 

Granted, wish all you want you gluttonous fuck, you later die of a heart attack and stroke

I wish I had more ideas of what to shitpost in VIP plaza

 

Granted, it becomes too dark and you get banned.

I wish for... uh... cookies that would have no negative effect on me which nobody would ever know I had nor suspect anything.

 

granted but they taste like air

i wish people wouldn't be mean to me

 

Granted, but they're so nice it creeps you out.

I wish for nobody except me to have cake and nobody knows I have cake nor suspect I have the delicious cake.

 

granted but you develop an allergy to cakes