Survive!

that's racist. .-. Targeting only me cause of my ethnicity.

Realizing that, the explosion boomerangs back to you, so as to not get criticized online.

 

However, the explosion activates my trap card. I teleport to South Africa and am safe.

The explosion gets sad and so goes back to killing you.

 

I play a happy jingle and because I mad it happy, it decides against killing me. It was sad because you left, so it decides to chase you back down... where ever you are,

 

But the explosion is illiterate and doesn’t know where South Africa is, so it just dies.

A hydrogen bomb sees his son dying and is stricken with grief. He launches himself at you in a kamikaze strike.

 

I am (totally) of Japanese decent. As such, I order the kamikaze striker to turn around and strike you instead, an American.
No offense to anyone, I swear. ;-;

 

Except America has missile defense systems that save me because FREEDOM.

As all Japanese people are weeboos, the Weeaboos Suck Society targets launches a strike on your house with poisonous gas and heavy metal music.

 

The Japanese call for help!
@NotAWeeb
Seeing a non-weeb in Japan, the WSS backs off. They head to attack you for almost making them kill a non-weeb in Japan.

 

they turn back at you because you sent them to me by accident

 

They aren't willing to attack someone who has 69TB of HW left. They turn back to you, someone who completed all their hw.

 

except i downloaded more HW
they send it back at you

 

I send them my HW file to stop them. The police learn of this and believe- due to recent mass downloading- that these files belong to you. They send the SWAT after you.

 

but i download in incognito mode, so its untraceable
they go after you for deceiving them

 

But I cleared my history. They can't find me.

They hold lolis captive with very tight fighting rooes, and shoot down anyone who downloads this to watch (you)

 

rooes? wut?

anyways, i download onto your pc, so they think you downloaded it instead of me
they go after you now

 

ropes. use you imagination and forgiving my typing error. ;-;

Luckily, my PC was in your house somehow, and by tracming the coordinates, they find you- a very likely suspect.

 

Except I don't live in my house. I'm homeless.

They go back to you for deceiving them

 

They can't find me. I'm hiding.

They track down the figurines that are shipped to you to hunt you down.

 

They come near me only to active my trap card killing them.

Someone sees me and sinks my battleship.

 

It was your battle ship not mine...

you're sinking

 

I get on my private appache attack helicopter.

I sink your battleship and your helicopters.