Survive!

Spoiler: Slightly dark.

Cannibalism. .-. (Of myself or people I catch)

After staving, I get thin enough to go through the iron bars.

You roll three fails on your death saves.

 

I keep reversing time with Toki the Timetinker's hero power with gadgetzan on board and coin in hand until I get it right.

You become a villian in a show, destined to die.

 

4th wall break, let me rewrite the script.

The air we breathe happens to no longer exist. Evolution is impossible at this point. All powers (and abilities) are negated.

 

The reason it is like that is because I was god and have turned everything into death and decay to rule it forever.

You are hungry but there is only one more fridge in the universe left and your roommate stole your last deserved pho noodles, leaving you to die.

 

Pho him! That's the last fridge but due to my years of training under the Asian arts, meditating under a waterfall, forcing myself to do my math homework, crashing cars, eating with only sticks, shaving my head and learning kung-fu, I can make... my own pho noodles.

Typing breaks your fingers off. You bleed out. >.<

 

I suck the blood from my fingers and survive.

You trip and fall off the airplane with no parachute. Oops.

 

The airplane was half underground. I just flop unto the ground.

What ground? You just tripped off the cliff. .-.

 

This movie is of good quality so I command my stunt to die for me.

It would appear that now you are free falling on a cliff with very sharp rocks.

 

Even though the rocks are sharp, they're made of rubber. and foam. The sharp edges just kinda collapse.

The ceiling of the building you're shooting this in collapse in on you.

 

Luckily I am not in said building. I magically teleport you into the old giant rat bossroom(giant rat included) with all possible exits securely blocked off, I then make everything on you other then clothes dissappear, removing anything not fabric from them. Good luck and remember the giant rat does not know fear.

 

I disconnect from the cloned server and rejoin Wynncraft.

I put an IV into your arm. Then I use it to sipjos your blood out of your body at a very quick rate. For good measure, I have a gun pointed at you, so no sudden movement or there's now a bullet in your forehead.

 

Did you know that I, a zombie, does not need blood to live? Besidew, that's gun made of chocolate. Thanks for the free meal. :p

You are devoured and digested by a worm.

 

My body starts to create enzymes and proteins which break the worm down from the inside and then collects all the half-digested chunks of me and reconnects them.

You're teleported back in time, but you, unfortunately, end up in the largest sauropod dung ever made, and you begin to choke.
Btw, what does Besidew mean?

 

It means I suck at typing. >.>

Choking is all that happens. It is because I am a robot designed to act human. I turn off the realistic programs and remove myself from the area. I am the onky technological.thing in this era. .-.

You die of heartache. Your daughter refused to marry you and ran off with your wife. ;-; Wallowing in sadness, you fall deeper and deeper into hell and you just... die.

 

I don't want to live in that weird family of incest, so I survive.

You hit your pinky toe in the corner of the bed.

 

It hurts like hell.
But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger


Holy fvck, the thkng banging your pinkie in succession really hurt. ;-; After a while, you can't take it anymore and you die, with your pinkie toe horribly mangaled.

 

My soul returns to another human being, who has no toes to bang against crap.

You are sitting in a commercial plane when you get up and take a walk, leaving your stuff in your chair. 30,000 feet in the air, someone detonates a bomb next to you, shattering the plane.

 

Luckily, you know the sacred art of bullshittery.
...
Or hold the powers of PlotArmor. >.>
A giant roc swoops down and grabs you in it's talons, before flying off.

The talons are- tightening- They are- too- tight! Can't- breathe!

 

Since I'm stupid I don't know how to breath
The rock roc bird thing dropped a rock on you

 

luckily, it doesn't hurt too much, since it can't move it's talons too high while holding you.

And that's why it dropped you.