Survive!

I block the spoon with a bowl

I throw a fork at you

 

I block the fork with a swiss army knife.

I throw the knife (closed) at you

 

I use a frying pan to catch the knife.

I use the frying pan to deform the back of your head.

 

I cut the frying pan with my sword


I stab you

 

I slice the stab in half with my melted chocolate bar.

I syringe your throat with a flower stick.

 

I don’t know what that is, therefore it doesn’t exist and can’t kill me.

I get my personal orbital laser cannon to obliterate you and the surrounding area from orbit

 

but i have a cat to deflect it back at you

 

But I have a dog (which is far superior) to reflect it back at you

 

but i have 17 cats to reflect it back again

 

Ahah, I have 2 nine tailed foxes. 17 tails to block and one to strike!

 

but i have 20 fingers, 17 to block and 3 to strike

 

but I have 21 toes, 3 to defend and 18 to return fire

 

but i have 22 eyeballs, 21 to defend and one to lazer you

 

but I have 23 ears, 15 to absorb the lazer and eight to (ear)drum you to death with

 

but I have 57 left nostrils, 32 to absorb the drums and 25 to blow you away

 

I am blown away from the scene- and successfully escape the acidic flood of snot that rains down afterwards.

 

I am currently in my epic giant spaceship floating in orbit, so I am unaffected.

I fire one of my epic spaceship’s epic laser cannons of epicness to epically kill you.

 

but i have my mirror again and reflect it back at you

 

I eat the laser and regurgitate it back towards you, without being harmed for I have guts of laser-tolerant steel.

 

but i still have the mirror to reflect it back