Survive!

But I already won the race, and I am no longer controlling my character, as I've stepped away from my console.

The secret nuke the red shells activate activates, and you're still sippin' tea with 'em.

 

I go to the pause menu and restart game so I don’t die.

A nuke falls on you house.

 

but i am not home

a house falls on your nuke

 

The nuke was actually the wicked witch and you got the magic slippers for killing the witch. Then the magic slippers bring a bunch of houses on top of you.

A hundred houses fall directly on top of you.

 

Houses? I think yo mean buildings. No one has a house anymore, just shelters. .-.

A hundred and one shelters fall ontop of you

 

I see them coming down and, since I’m korosensei I move out of the way and redirect the shelters to you

 

But I play Touhou. If I can dodge the rain, I can easily dodge your attacks.

Awed by my magnificence, you die in self-pity.

 

But Get pranked I’m actually vegeta and I don’t do self pity.

I punch you in the face

 

Ow. My face. .-.
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

My cries of pain explode your head due to it's high frequencies.

 

I get an elliptical reflector dish and reflect the cries at you.

 

I get one too, reflecting them back toward you.

Both reflector dishes shatter and the glass from the reflector kills you.

 

I duck.

The glass from the reflector flies towards you too, and the muscles controlling your legs malfunction, causing you to stand straighter than an unbent steel rod.

 

A car drives past right at the moment when the glass would’ve hit me and hits it out of the way.

It drives you over.

 

With blown-out tires? I don't think so.

I dump lava over your house.

 

I use a teleporter to switch places with you.

 

Or so you thought! You accidentally switch places with your grandma and are forced to switch back, and lava destroys the teleporter.

 

Luckily I had a resource pack on that switches lava and water.

I sue you fo water damage and you die without any money to support you.

 

But I respawn in another life where you are sued by me and I’m rich

 

But I respawn in another life where you are sued by me and I’m rich

 

Then I respawn in another life where I’m rich and fancy and you are removed from existence