Protect the Sandwich 2

I leap up to the top layer of the food base and take sandwich B.

I watch, as the anvil completely pulverized the poor dog.

I ponder for a minute about the great cost for possessing this sandwich.

Is it worth it?

. . .

Spoiler: . . .

Yes

I take sandwich B to the heart of the corruption and toss it in the portal.

No dogs were harmed in the taking of this sandwich*

*Unless you count the one that got harmed

 

In order to take sandwich A I simply place water source blocks at the build height limit above the bugged chunk. This forces the endermen away and drowns the shulkers. I then fly in and steal the sandwich. The chorus fruit then teleports me to The Hive where I give the sandwich to Qira. Idk what she does with it.

 

I get the exterminator from over the hedge to kill Qira and take the sandwich. I'm light headed from all the fumes so drop the sandwich in a random car going any 1 of 30 countries across the world

 

I hire Garoth (who is already corrupted) to recollect it for me. He eats it and returns before Tasim shows up and breaks his torso open, removes the sandwich, and gives it to me; I drop it into the Bottomless Pit with Panic Zealot as a guard.

 

(Forgot about the chorus fruit but whatever)
In order to take sandwich A I send my 99 bee swarms (which I now have) and track down the car with the sandwich. Finding the car they break in. (Bees are actually quite strong) and steal the sandwich. The chorus fruit inside the sandwich teleports the bees to the central hive where it remains.

 

Using magic potato powers, I duplicate the Panic Zealot 10 times to further protect the sandwich. Each zealot also has their individual health drain mechanic therefore instant killing you if you enter the boss altar

I burn the beehive and take the sandwich. I throw this into Bottomless Pit along with sandwich B

 

I reset all servers and worlds making Bottomless Pit lag out to a comfortable 10 ft, jump down and grab Sandwich B. I'm so sleep deprived I sell it for a coffee on the TM and the person who bought it got banned due to the 1.19 server changes, so how do you access their account

 

I bribe Ocel0tgirl with a cat treat to unban the account then I hire a hacker to get the password of the account.
Afterwards I locate lari and Ava, give them both half of sandwich B which they eat so you will have to kill BOTH to get the sandwich B halfs.
Then to put the 2 half’s back together Into one sandwich, you have to find a special blacksmith in the molten heights who will forge them back together at the cost of 69420 stacks of LE

Take that, Ava/Lari simps.

 

Completely forgot about sandwich A which is still in there but ok
To ensure this won’t happen again, everytime bottomless pit lags, the Panic Zealots become real and hunt you down and anyone who helps you.

Killing Lari or Ava will also cause the Panic Zealots to become real

 

It has been 69420 morbillion years since Sandwich A has been hidden. Sandwich A's chorus fruit has become rotten and can't teleport anymore. The smell excreted from the rotten chorus fruit intruigues the 10 Panic Zealots, which cause them to each take a bite of the rotten sandwich and all get teleported to your mom's house. Your mom is so angry(and old) that some sandwich has caused 10 big black m-reliks to enter your house, she grounds you and takes away your computer. This renders you helpless against the 10 Panic Zealots, as you cannot acess your morph the nothing level 103 mage account. I then come down and get Sandwich A, and throw Sandwich B through the barrier floor in order to keep it safe. I take the rotten chorus fruit and eat it, causing me to get tped to your mother's household where I use my pre 2.0 roving assassin major id to stay invisible for most of the time. Each time I get out of vanish, the Panic Zealots and your mother come closer to me. I spam vanish and put the sandwich in your basement where your dad put the milk. The sandwich is now locked in a safe, which requires you to do 20 complete naked hich archer runs in a row without help. After providing proof of 20 runs, all of your hich archer classes are teleported to PONR, where they all have to redo the quest with perma jump height without dying(impossible, milk does not remove the jump height). After completing that challenge, you can acess the sandwich but then all of the PZs and your mom harass you and you die, causing you to get sent to tervanes(it was your "last visited town"). After finishing the set up of this safe, I finish the chorus fruit and get tped back to the top of your mother's house and go back to my house(it is right next to your mothers house) and sleep.

 

I split the safe open with an absurdly strong axe and take Sandwich A.

I hide Sandwich A in a vault somewhere on the islands of Svalbard. I get a wizard to cast a spell on the sandwich so that he will know if and when it is taken. I give the wizard a time machine so that he can go back 30 minutes before the sandwich was taken and keep it until it is safe to replace. Therefore, taking the sandwich creates a time paradox, because if you take the sandwich, it will no longer be there.

 

The axe that opened the safe also killed your mother, whose soul opened the gate to the Eldrich Outlook. I take the wizard to fight The Eye with me, but instead of trying to help him I use a pande immolation build, which will bring the wizard to 1 hp with a pande-placed totem. He will then die of cringe from the Eye.
https://tenor.com/view/wynncraft-the-eye-dead-chat-wtf-dies-of-cringe-gif-21255328

(threre may or may not be an embed fail here idk)
After the wizard dies, I /class out of EO, go to Svalbard and yoink Sandwich A. I then proceed to feed the sandwich to my dog



https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/584833074194284544/972231448973152286/20220504_175803_1.gif
DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO KILL DA GOOD BOI????

 

My first course of action is to defeat Death.
I die, sending me to Death's Realm. I approach Death with my axe of great power. The fight lasts for 13 days, but in the end, I emerge victorious, the master of death.

I resurrect my mother and myself, and I set out to take Sandwich B.

Since I am not a simp, I feel little remorse killing Lari and Ava, especially now that I have the powers of Death. I reunite the two halves of Sandwich B, and revive Ava, so that I could get help creating electromagic contraptions in the future. The axe can easily kill the Panic Zealots, so they are not an issue.

I go to the exact center of Ohio, and summon the GARGANTUAN FROG to protect Sandwich B. This frog is so powerful that my axe, the axe which bested Death, the axe which killed ten Panic Zealots in mere seconds, cannot even be felt by the frog. The frog is 50 kilometers long and when standing at sea level, its eyes are well into the stratosphere. The only way to take the sandwich is to behead the frog.

 

What is it with dogs in this thread

I tear the dog in two, ripping sandwich A from its mangled corpse.
Then I realized.
There’s only one way to never let a sandwich be taken from you.
Become it.
Devoting 69 years of my life to discover the technology to combine 2 objects into one, I put sandwich A on one half of the machine while I stand on the other. I flick the lever to turn it on.
I AM NOW SANDWICH A!!
But suddenly, it dawned upon me.
I was sandwich A.
Meaning I could not protect myself from the world, and no way to turn back into my regular self there was nothing I could do.
Sandwich A and I were one, meaning all I could do now was wait for somebody to pick me up and put me in some absurd situation and hope it all sorted out.
I am now part of sandwich A. Anytime sandwich A is taken, I go with it due to being part of it. Now that I am a part of sandwich A I can no longer do anything that would require arms or legs because sandwiches don’t have any.
Let’s see how this plays out I guess

 

I turn you into sandwich B. This does absolutely nothing.

 

As a precaution, I make sure to remove any souls from Sandwich B, and end up finding Ocelot_tamer776. I send him to Brazil to keep him away from the gargantuan frog. That's when I realize that Sandwich A is open for the taking. If everything goes right, I can have both sandwiches in my possession.

I go to Svalbard, where sandwich A lies on the ground near an incredibly dead dog. I take sandwich A, and revive the dog. I go to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and place the Sandwich down. The sandwich is guarded by the ABSURDLY LONG ELECTRIC EEL, which is 8,000 kilometers long, a kilometer in diameter, and can hit you with energy 10 times as powerful as lightning when only using 0.03% of its power. Taking Sandwich A while the eel is still alive means certain death.

 

I summon a lightning elemental to retrieve it. Since it is literally made out of electricity, the eel’s attempts to shock it only makes it grow stronger. It brings sandwich a back to me, and I eat it. However, since I am lava, it is now a torched crisp, indistinguishable from the rest of me.

 

You ate the sandwich.

You weren't supposed to do that.

The Sandwich Police teleports into the Pacific ocean, to find a pool of lava that somehow had not solidified in the cold waters of the abyss of the Mariana Trench. They reverse time to before Sandwich A was taken and informed me, the person who protected it, of this tomfoolery. I take the sandwich out of the Mariana Trench, and, unable to think of any other options, I send it to Ohio to be guarded alongside sandwich B. The Gargantuan Frog causes the sandwich to vanish, and it can only rematerialize when the frog has been beheaded, just like Sandwich B (and when that happens, you may only take one Sandwich, not both). I sit on a platform in the stratosphere, waiting for the battle to unfold as the sun sets.

Mere mortals must fight a 50-kilometer long, 50-kilometer tall (albeit also mortal) frog to destroy my monopoly on the Sandwiches.

 

Ah, double checked, I misread the rules.

I personally was never in the trench...

I call upon my incredibly strong astral magic to summon a meteor that crashes through the frog's skull, destroying it. Since the frog now has no head left, it is beheaded. The meteor also wipes out half of Ohio, giving Ohio its first ever news segment. I take sandwich A and send it via NASA satellite launch to Jupiter's red spot.

 

I then send jupiter to the edge of the universe, where it is protected by multiple toxoplasmosis users