Most Cringe-worthy Jokes

Read this on imgur;
CaptainBatmanStarlod:
"An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?'

'Yes'
'Oui'
'Si'
'Ja'
(Link: http://imgur.com/gallery/kFHxv0Z"
"

 

This will end all jokes, period.

oh god what have i done

 

what's a super hero's favorite joke?

A... PUNCH LINE!

#True-cringe-worthy

 

A scientist walks into a bar and asks for a glass of H2O. now there's a philosopher standing behind him and he's not good at science and he asks for a glass of H2O2 and he died the next day...

At a campsite you cant run you can only ran...because its all past tents (past tense)

I BLEW UP MY CHEMISTRY KIT!!! ah well...oxidants happen

 

Oh I got another bad one.
Heisenberg, Ohm, and Schrodinger are in a car.
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now, JERK!" shouts Schrodinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.

 

What do you do to dead chemists?
If you can't helium, you should barium.

Alcohol and calculus are dangerous.
Don't drink and derive.

Pi says to i, "Get real."
i says to pi, "Get rational."

I've heard that math puns are the first sine of madness.

What chord do you need to blow up a piano?
C4.

I'd tell you a joke about construction, but I'm still working on it.
I'd tell you a joke about electricity, but you don't want to. You sure? It's free of charge.

Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases."
He doesn't react.

That joke was sodium funny; I slapped my neon that one.

I don't have any more chemistry jokes because all the good ones argon.

I have the best joke.




















My life.

(drops mic)

 

"Pick the Hotter option"
>Guy who said this had "Hotter" as their last name
>Everyone in the school clapped because it was so bad it was good

 

Police: Where do u live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With Me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbors house.
Police: Where is your neighbors house?
Me: You won't believe me if I tell you.
Police: Tell Me!
Me: Next to my house.

________________________________

Boy: I'll pay you 10 bucks to climb up the flagpole.
Girl: ok.(climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy a boy paid me 10 bucks to climb the flagpole. Mom: He just wanted to see your underwear!
...Next Day...
(Same boy): I'll pay you 20 BUCKS to climb the flagpole!
Girl: OK thanks! (climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy today the boy paid me 20 BUCKS for climbing the flagpole, but today I tricked him this time I wasn't wearing underwear.
Mom:...

 

A programmer and wife want to make dinner, but they're all out of food. The wife says 'Go down to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen.'
The programmer returns with a dozen loaves of bread.

 

uranus smells like gas