King Of The Hill (revival)

I then jump in your mouth, force you to hallucinate, make you walk off the hill making you think there is candy 1 mile away, and I claim the hill.

My hill.

 

i'm still literally fused with the hill, so since whatseirface lost control i , by default, own the hill, since it would be impossible to separate me and the hill due to the indistinguishability

i win the game i guess

 

If you are fused with the hill then you become the hill so therefore, you do not win.

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I recover from the shrooms and head back with the SWAT team to shut down your drug operation. I gain ownership of the hill after the fact. I then reset my defenses and double the defenses.

 

I borrow Juan's attack helicopter and terminate your defense

I OWN the hill

 

I have possession of the hill like I have possession over my own body. I have rights over my own body, therefore I have rights over my hill, therefore I own the hill. Bam

 

The hill is an inanimate object, by fusing with it you become an inanimate object.

 

what that makes no sense. i'm an animate being which has incorporated the energy that composed the hill into my being

 

I cover the you/hill thing with, like, a bunch of dirt. This dirt outnumbers the amount of "you particles" by a ratio of 100090000:1, meaning that you are no longer have a majority stake in the hill ownership. Instead, the hill owns itself (and you, as you are part of the hill now), which I promptly take over with my army of doggos.

 

but the hill isn't a sentient being capable of owning property. therefore, i own the hill because the hill is part of me. and i get free doggos i guess

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tree_That_Owns_Itself
boi

 

yeah but the Jackson Oak is not the fucking hill. Also it doesn't legally own itself

 

The Tree That Owns Itself is a white oak tree that has... legal ownership of itself and of all land within eight feet (2.4 m) of its base.

 

It's also fucking dead

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On top of it, according to state law, it cannot own property because it's not legally able to receive it.

 

Y'know, I can't be bothered dealing with random laws, so imma just stick a flag in you and claim you as mine.

 

the United Nations' Universal Declaration of Human Rights prohibits you from owning me for your purposes, as that is a form of slavery.

 

Just because it is prohibited doesn't mean I can't do it.

 

uhm, legally, you do not own me. i own myself and all of my body.

 

Ok.
I drug you into a coma, and put you in a box, which I own.
Now, I do not legally 'own' you, but I currently have possession of you, and the hill.

 

I take the box, stab you in the heart, lungs, and head, and build a massive fortress all in under one second. I then call in my kingdom and we all eat Doritos and that jazz while we wait for someone to inevitably take it back.

 

luckily i fused my being into the hill itself. i no longer have distinct organs. i am the hill. i own it