Community Event Hero Giveaway

Fixed it for ya

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking I WANT HERO!
Joke, well i have 2.
1. homework is FUN!
2. What did the enderdragon have in it's throat? A ENDSTONE!
other: Idk hero would be AWESOME!

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking i want hero
a joke
no sc :/

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking I WANT HERO! You are the SANTA of my life

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking I want hero!
My attempts at making a good joke.

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking i want hero
id like to get it for my alt, his name is leKaito_
oh yea
im cold as ice

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking I want hero.
(Jokes)

Spoiler: Jokes

-
Guild Wars
VIP Plaza
Jumla's Cage
Corkus/Bloomi
-
Seriously though

Spoiler: Seriously Though

-
What do you get when you replace all the Hydrogen in a benzene ring with Iron?
A ferrous wheel!
-
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't Helium, and you can't Curium, then you might as well Barium!
-
Two chemists walk into a bar, the first one says, "I'd like a glass of H2O."
The second one gets confused as to why his friend referred to it as H2O and instead orders a glass of water.
The first one becomes disappointed because his assassination plan was foiled.
-
I'd tell more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones Argon.
-

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking i want hero
(insert joke here)

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking i want hero
Winning this giveaway is a joke

chocolate

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking i want hero :P
End me
I've seen you but never took a screenshot of ya.

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking I wanna be a hero!

where do you find a dog with no legs?

Spoiler: answer

where you left it

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking I wanna be SUPER MAN (a hero)
Joke: (down below, and up above)

Screenshot:
<--- that was easy to get :P

Other:

Spoiler: War And Peace:

WAR AND PEACE



had caught a glimpse of her, she seemed still
more lovely. She was a charming girl of six-
teen, evidently passionately in love with him
(he did not doubt that for an instant). Why
should he not love her now, and even marry
her, Rost6v thought, but just now there were
so many other pleasures and interests before
him! "Yes, they have taken a wise decision," he
thought, "I must remain free."

"Well then, that's excellent," said he. "We'll
talk it over later on. Oh, how glad I am to have
you!

"Well, and are you still true to Boris?" he
continued.

"Oh, what nonsense!" cried Natdsha, laugh-
ing. "I don't think about him or anyone else,
and I don't want anything of the kind."

"Dear me I Then what are you up to now?"

"Now?" repeated Natdsha, and a happy smile
lit up her face. "Have you seen Duport?"

"No."

"Not seen Duport the famous dancer? Well
then, you won't understand. That's what I'm
up to."

Curving her arms, Natdsha held out her
skirts as dancers do, ran back a few steps,
turned, cut a caper, brought her little feet
sharply together, and made some steps on the
very tips of her toes.

"See, I'm standing! See!" she said, but could
not maintain herself on her toes any longer.
"So that's what I'm up tol I'll never marry any-
one, but will be a dancer. Only don't tell any-
one."

Rost6v laughed so loud and merrily that
Denisov, in his bedroom, felt envious and Na-
tdsha could not help joining in.

"No, but don't you think it's nice?" she kept
repeating.

"Nice! And so you no longer wish to marry
Boris?"

Natdsha flared up. "I don't want to marry
anyone. And I'll tell him so when I see him!"

"Dear me!" said Rost6v.

"But that's all rubbish," Natdsha chattered
on. "And is Denfsov nice?" she asked.

"Yes, indeed!"

"Oh, well then, good-by: go and dress. Is he
very terrible, Denisov?"

"Why terrible?" asked Nicholas. "No, Vdska
is a splendid fellow."

"You call him Vdska? That's funny! And is
he very nice?"

"Very."

"Well then, be quick. We'll all have break-
fast together."



And Natdsha rose and went out of the room
on tiptoe, like a ballet dancer, but smiling as
only happy girls of fifteen can smile. When
Rost6v met S6nya in the drawing room, he red-
dened. He did not know how to behave with
her. The evening before, in the first happy mo-
ment of meeting, they had kissed each other,
but today they felt it could not be done; he felt
that everybody, including his mother and sis-
ters, was looking inquiringly at him and watch-
ing to see how he would behave with her. He
kissed her hand and addressed her not as thou
but as you Sdnya. But their eyes met and said
thou, and exchanged tender kisses. Her looks
asked him to forgive her for having dared, by
Natdsha's intermediacy, to remind him of his
promise, and then thanked him for his love.
His looks thanked her for offering him his free-
dom and told her that one way or another he
would never cease to love her, for that would
be impossible.

"How strange it is," said Wra, selecting a
moment when all were silent, "that S6nya and
Nicholas now say you to one another and meet
like strangers."

V^ra's remark was correct, as her remarks al-
ways were, but, like most of her observations,
it made everyone feel uncomfortable, not only
S6nya, Nicholas, .and Natdsha, but even the
old countess, who dreading this love affair
which might hinder Nicholas from making a
brilliant match blushed like a girl.

Denfsov, to Rost6v's surprise, appeared in
the drawing room with pomaded hair, per-
fumed, and in a new uniform, looking just as
smart as he made himself when going into bat-
tle, and he was more amiable to the ladies and
gentlemen than Rost6v had ever expected to
see him.

CHAPTER II

ON HIS RETURN to Moscow from the army,
Nicholas Rost6v was welcomed by his home cir-
cle as the best of sons, a hero, and their darling
Nik61enka; by his relations as a charming, at-
tractive, and polite youngman; by his acquaint-
ances as a handsome lieutenant of hussars, a
good dancer, and one of the best matches in
the city.

The Rost6vs knew everybody in Moscow.
The old count had money enough that year,
as all his estates had been remortgaged, and so
Nicholas, acquiring a trotter of his own, very
stylish riding breeches of the latest cut, such as
no one else yet had in Moscow, and boots of
the latest fashion, with extremely pointed toes



BOOK FOUR



169



and small silver spurs, passed his time very
gaily. After a short period of adapting himself
to the old conditions of life, Nicholas found it
very pleasant to be at home again. He felt that
he had grown up and matured very much. His
despair at failing in a Scripture examination,
his borrowing money from Gavrfl to pay a
sleigh driver, his kissing S6nya on the sly he
now recalled all this as childishness he had left
immeasurably behind. Now he was a lieuten-
ant of hussars, in a jacket laced with silver, and
wearing the Cross of St. George, awarded to
soldiers for bravery in action, and in the com-
pany of well-known, elderly, and respected rac-
ing men was training a trotter of his own for a
race. He knew a lady on one of the boulevards
whom he visited of an evening. He led the
mazurka at the Arkhdrovs' ball, talked about
the war with Field Marshal Kdmenski, visited
the English Club, and was on intimate terms
with a colonel of forty to whom Denisov had
introduced him.

His passion for the Emperor had cooled
somewhat in Moscow. But still, as he did not
see him and had no opportunity of seeing him,
he often spoke about him and about his love
for him, letting it be understood that he had
not told all and that there was something in
his feel ings for the Emperor not everyone could
understand, and with his whole soul he shared
the adoration then common in Moscow for the
Emperor, who was spoken of as the "angel in-
carnate."

During Rost6v's short stay in Moscow, before
rejoining the army, he did not draw closer to
S6nya, but rather drifted away from her. She
was very pretty and sweet, and evidently deep-
ly in love with him, but he was at the period of
youth when there seems so much to do that
there is no time for that sort of thing and a
young man fears to bind himself and prizes
his freedom which he needs for so many other
things. When he thought of S6nya, during this
stay in Moscow, he said to himself, "Ah, there
will be, and there are, many more such girls
somewhere whom I do not yet know. There
will be time enough to think about love when
I want to, but now I have no time." Besides,
it seemed to him that the society of women was
rather derogatory to his manhood. He went to
balls and into ladies' society with an affectation
of doing so against his will. The races, the
English Club, sprees with Denisov, and
visits to a certain housethat was another
matter and quite the thing for a dashing
young hussarl



At the beginning of March, old Count
Rost6v was very busy arranging a dinner in
honorof Prince Bagrati6n at the English Club.

The count walked up and down the hall in
his dressing gown, giving orders to the club
steward and to the famous Feoktfst, the Club's
head cook, about asparagus, fresh cucumbers,
strawberries, veal, and fish for this dinner. The
count had been a member and on the commit-
tee of the Club from the day it was founded. To
him the Club entrusted theaVrangement of the
festival in honor of Bagrati6n, for few men
knew so well how to arrange a feast on an open-
handed, hospitable scale, and still fewer men
would be so well able and willing to make up
out of their own resources what might be need-
ed for the success of the fete. The club cook and
the steward listened to the count's orders with
pleased faces, for they knew that under no oth-
er management could they so easily extract a
good profit for themselves from a dinner cost-
ing several thousand rubles.

"Well then, mind and have cocks' combs in
the turtle soup, you know!"

"Shall we have three cold dishes then?" asked
the cook.

The count considered.

"We can't have lessyes, three . . . the may-
onnaise, that's one," said he, bending down a
finger.

"Then am I to order those large sterlets?"
asked the steward.

"Yes, it can't be helped if they won't take
less. Ah, dear me! I was forgetting. We must
have another entree. Ah, goodness gracious!"
he clutched at his head. "Who is going to get
me the flowers? Dmftri! Eh, Dmitri 1 Gallop off
to our Moscow estate," he said to the factotum
who appeared at his call. "Hurry off and tell
Maksim, the gardener, to set the serfs to work.
Say that everything out of the hothouses must
be brought here well wrapped up in felt. I must
have two hundred pots here on Friday."

Having given several more orders, he was
about to go to his "little countess" to have a
rest, but remembering something else of im-
portance, he returned again, called back the
cook and the club steward, and again began
giving orders. A light footstep and the clinking
of spurs were heard at the door, and the young
count, handsome, rosy, with a dark little mus-
tache, evidently rested and made sleeker by his
easy life in Moscow, entered the room.

"Ah, my boy, my head's in a whirl!" said the
old man with a smile, as if he felt a little con-
fused before his son, "Now, if you would only



170



WAR AND PEACE



help a bit! I must have singers too. I shall have
my own orchestra, but shouldn't we get the
gypsy singers as well? You military men like
that sort of thing."

"Really, Papa, I believe Prince Bagrati6n
worried himself less before the battle of Schon
Grabern than you do now," said his son with
a smile.

The old count pretended to be angry.

"Yes, you talk, but try it yourself!"

And the count turned to the cook, who, with
a shrewd and respectful expression, looked ob-
servantly and sympathetically at the father and
son.

"What have the young people come to now-
adays, eh, Feoktist?" said he. "Laughing at us
old fellows!"

"That's so, your excellency, all they have to
do is to eat a good dinner, but providing it and
serving it all up, that's not their business!"

"That's it, that's it!" exclaimed the count,
and gaily seizing his son by both hands, he
cried, "Now I've got you, so take the sleigh
and pair at once, and go to Bezukhob's, and
tell him 'Count Ilyd has sent you to ask for
strawberries and fresh pineapples.' We can't
get them from anyone else. He's not there him-
self, so you'll have to go in and ask the prin-
cesses; and from there go on to the Rasgulyay
the coachman Ipdtka knows and look up
the gypsy Ilyushka, the one who danced at
Count Orl6v's, you remember, in a white Cos-
sack coat, and bring him along to me."

"And am I to bring the gypsy girls along
with him?" asked Nicholas, laughing. "Dear,
dear! . . ."

At that moment, with noiseless footsteps and
with the businesslike, preoccupied, yet meekly
Christian look which never left her face, Anna
MikMylovna entered the hall. Though she
came upon thecount in his dressing gown every
day, he invariably became confused and
begged her to excuse his costume.

"No matter at all, my dear count," she said,
meekly closing her eyes. "But I'll go to Bezuk-
hov's myself. Pierre has arrived, and now we
shall get anything we want from his hothouses.
I have to see him in any case. He has forward-
ed me a letter from Boris. Thank God, Boris
is now on the staff."

The count was delighted at Anna Mikhay-
lovna's taking upon herself one of his com-
missions and ordered the small closed carriage
for her.

"Tell Bezukhov to come. I'll put his name
down. Is bis wife with him?" he asked.



Anna Mikhdylovna turned up her eyes, and
profound sadness was depicted on her face.

"Ah, my dear friend, he is very unfortunate,"
she said. "If what we hear is true, it is dreadful.
How little we dreamed of such a thing when
we were rejoicing at his happiness! And such
a lofty angelic soul as young Bezukhovl Yes, I
pity him from my heart, and shall try to give
him what consolation I can."

"Wh-what is the matter?" asked both the
young and old Rostov.

Anna Mikhdylovna sighed deeply.

"D61okhov, Mary Ivdnovna's son," she said
in a mysterious whisper, "has compromised her
completely, they say. Pierre took him up, in-
vited him to his house in Petersburg, and now
... she has come here and that daredevil after
her!" said Anna Mikhylovna, wishing to show
her sympathy for Pierre, but by involuntary
intonations and a half smile betraying her
sympathy for the "daredevil," as she called
Ddlokhov. "They say Pierre is quite broken by
his misfortune."

"Dear, dear! But still tell him to come to the
Club it will all blow over. It will be a tre-
mendous banquet."

Next day, the third of March, soon after one
o'clock, two hundred and fifty members of the
English Cluband fifty guests were awaiting the
guest of honor and hero of the Austrian cam-
paign, Prince Bagrati6n, to dinner.

On the first arrival of the news of the battle
of Austerlitz, Moscow had been bewildered. At
that time, the Russians were so used to victories
that on receiving news of the defeat some
would simply not believe it, while others sought
some extraordinary explanation of so strange
an event. In the English Club, where all who
were distinguished, important, and well in-
formed forgathered when the news began to
arrive in December, nothing was said about the
war and the last battle, as though all were in a
conspiracy of silence. The men who set the tone
in conversation Count Rostopchin, Prince
Yuri Dolgortikov, Valiiev, Count Mdrkov, and
Prince Vyazemski did not show themselves at
the Club, but met in private houses in inti-
mate circles, and the Moscovites who took
their opinions from others Ilya Rost6v among
them remained for a while without any defi-
nite opinion on the subject of the war and
without leaders. The Moscovites felt that some-
thing was wrong and that to discuss the bad
news was difficult, and so it was best to be si-
lent. But after a while, just as a jury comes out
of its room, the bigwigs who guided the Club's



BOOK FOUR



171



opinion reappeared, and everybody began
speaking clearly and definitely. Reasons were
found for the incredible! unheard-of, and im-
possible event of a Russian defeat, everything
became clear, and in all corners of Moscow
the same things began to be said. These reasons
were the treachery of the Austrians, a defective
commissariat, the treachery of the Pole Przeby-
szwski and of the Frenchman Langeron, Ku-
tuzov's incapacity, and (it was whispered) the
youth and inexperience of the sovereign, who
had trusted worthless and insignificant people.
But the army, the Russian army, everyone de-
clared, was extraordinary and had achieved
miracles of valor. The soldiers, officers, and gen-
erals were heroes. But the hero of heroes was
Prince Bagrati6n, distinguished by his Schon
Grabern affair and by the retreat from Auster-
litz, where he alone had withdrawn his col-
umn unbroken and had all day beaten back an
enemy force twice as numerous as his own.
What also conduced to Bagrati6n's being se-
lected as Moscow's hero was the fact that he
had no connections in the city and was a stran-
ger there. In his person, honor was shown to a
simple fighting Russian soldier without con-
nections and intrigues, and to one who was as-
sociated by memories of the Italian campaign
with the name of Suv6rov. Moreover, paying
such honor to Bagrati6n was the best way of
expressing disapproval and dislike of Kutiizov.

"Had there been no Bagrati6n, it would
have been necessary to invent him," said the
wit Shinshfn, parodying the words of Voltaire.
Kutiizov no one spoke of, except some who
abused him in whispers, calling him a court
weathercock and an old satyr.

All Moscow repeated Prince Dolgonikov's
saying: "If you go on modeling and model-
ing you must get smeared with clay," suggest-
ing consolation for our defeat by the memory
of former victories; and the words of Rostop-
chfn, that French soldiers have to be incited to
battle by highfalutin words, and Germans by
logical arguments to show them that it is more
dangerous to run away than to advance, but
that Russian soldiers only need to be restrained
and held back! On all sides, new and fresh an-
ecdotes were heard of individual examples of
heroism shown by our officers and men at Aus-
terlitz. One had saved a standard, another had
killed five Frenchmen, a third had loaded five
cannon singlehanded. Berg was mentioned, by
those who did not know him, as having, when
wounded in the right hand, taken his sword in
the left, and gone forward. Of Bolk6nski, noth-



ing was said, and only those who knew him in-
timately regretted that he had died so young,
leaving a pregnant wife with his eccentric
father.

CHAPTER III

ON THAT third of March, all the rooms in the
English Club were filled with a hum of conver-
sation, like the hum of beesswarming in spring-
time. The members and guests of the Club
wandered hither and thither, sat, stood, met,
and separated, some in uniform and some in
evening dress, and a few here and there with
powdered hair and in Russian kaftdns. Pow-
dered footmen, in livery with buckled shoes
and smart stockings, stood at every door anx-
iously noting visitors' every movement in order
to offer their services. Most of those present
were elderly, respected men with broad, self-
confident faces, fat fingers, and resolute ges-
tures and voices. This class of guests and mem-
bers sat in certain habitual places and met in
certain habitual groups. A minority of those
present were casual guests chiefly young men,
among whom were Denfsov, Rostov, and D6-
lokhov who was now again an officer in the
Semenov regiment. The faces of these young
people, especially those who were militarymen,
bore that expression of condescending respect
for their elders which seems to say to the older
generation, "We are prepared to respect and
honor you, but all the same remember that the
future belongs to us."

Nesvf tski was there as an old member of the
Club. Pierre, who at his wife's command had
let his hair grow and abandoned his spectacles,
went about the rooms fashionably dressed but
looking sad and dull. Here, as elsewhere, he
was surrounded by an atmosphere of subser-
vience to his wealth, and being in the habit of
lording it over these people, he treated them
with absent-minded contempt.

By his age he should have belonged to the
younger men, but by his wealth and connec-
tions he belonged to the groups of old and hon-
ored guests, and so he went from one group to
another. Some of the most important old men
were the center of groups which even strangers
approached respectfully to hear the voices of
well-known men. The largest circles formed
round Count Rostopchfn, Valtiev, and Nary-
shkin. Rostopchfn was describing how the Rus-
sians had been overwhelmed by flying Austri-
ans and had had to force their way through
them with bayonets.

Valiiev was confidentially telling that Uvdrov



WAR AND PEACE



had been sent from Petersburg to ascertain
what Moscow was thinking about Austerlitz.

In the third circle, Naryshkin was speaking
of the meeting of the Austrian Council of War
at which Suv6rov crowed like a cock in reply to
the nonsense talked by the Austrian generals.
Shinshfn, standing close by, tried to make a
joke, saying that Kutuzov had evidently failed
to learn from Suv6roveven so simple a thing as
the art of crowing like a cock, but the elder
members glanced severely at the wit, making
him feel that in that place and on that day, it
was improper to speak so of Kutuzov.

Count Ilyd Rost6v, hurried and preoccupied,
went about in his soft boots between the din-
ing and drawing rooms, hastily greeting the
important and unimportant, all of whom he
knew, as if they were all equals, while his eyes
occasionally sought out his fine well-set-up
young son, resting on him and winking joyful-
ly at him. Young Rost6v stood at a window
with Dolokhov, whose acquaintance he had
lately made and highly valued. The old count
came up to them and pressed D61okhov's hand.

 

wow 8 pages in about 3 days i think the close date will be around tommarow

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking i want hero
Why was did the egg explode
Some1: y?
He was cracking up *lame drum noise when you hear a joke*
http://imgur.com/a/RMkq8
http://imgur.com/a/Vrket
Lel

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking gimme Hero
I would make a Chemistry joke but all good ones Argon.
Sadly haven´t seen you ingame

 

Stealing jokes ain't cool man.

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking i want hero
joke here
never seen you in game

 

Hey @Tomato_Viking i want hero
Your Hairline
I would but you can't see your hairline in it, oh wait, YOU DON't HAVE ONE!!!
OOOOOOOO

(jk pls dont hurt me)

 

the giveaway open thing is closing in 15 hours and 38 minutes

 

Hi @Tomato_Viking im still asking myself, if you are giving away hero rank or the mythic spear, but I'll take both ;)