Generic Fantasy - [5/7]

I knda got the refrence, becouse I've heard about that webcomic.
Also our conversation kinda drifted into small rp of our own.
Also, I don't see how we're going to fight. You're just hiding in some abondend house while I'm half the time sleeping, half the time being drunk.

 

Spoiler: Self-Loathing (and lots of strikeouts)

I'm 90% sure my already bad writing is worse.
Then again, 2:30 AM and I'm on mobile.
(Never trust yourself to finish something at 2 AM)
seriously this thing was basically finished all you had to do was press "post reply", you idiot. Sorry for doing this the next day night

As the cart drives down the path south, you finally have some piece and quiet. You can just sit back, relax, and read enjoyably...

___

Almost two hours later, you emerge from your reading coma, having finished the book. The sky now has a visible red sunset color.
You and the others are in front of the gates to a large city, and there's a bored looking man in a booth next to it.

"Your names?"

There's very little in ways of furniture, a few boxes and cabinets here and there, but you find the tallest and sturdiest thing you can. The handle takes a few pulls, but it eventually relents, showering you in dust. Above looms an ominous darkness, because of course you haven't been in enough creepy areas today.

The group begins cheering and basting about how they'll take down the dragon and reclaim their gold (with copious singing) before they realize that's the wrong book.
So yeah, everyone seems pretty ready.

Your prize-winning "senior citizen who's never worked strenuously for a day in his life" build manages to mildly inconvenience the cat, which goes right back to nuzzling you. It's doing it on this weird spot on your hip that manages to itch in the most uncomfortable way possible.

Imperial Decree #9134: All those who engage in banditry or related crimes under the jurisdiction of imperial laws while inside imperial territory will no longer be protected by said laws against ragtag heroes, women over the age of 87, or law enforcement.

You continue descending down into the valley, and the rocky nature path slowly but surely turns into a dirt road, then gravel, then something paved. Fishing communities are built up around the river, and you see many of them closing up for the day. Quite a ways upriver you spot a massive wall, opening out on one side to the river in a U shape.

 

So I've learnt invisibility right?

Dez:"It's Dezeltex"

 

Hmm.

Nah, jk. I get up and start walking, somewhere...

 

"Well, that was...that was something. Anyways, all of you sods get on the boat, we'll figure it out from there."

 

Thorston tries to climb up, possibly using his grappling hook.

________________________________

OOC Thorston: "Nice job, cat."

 

Bookkeeper:"All right then, thank you very much. The rest of you?
The people around you and in the carts behind go around saying their names, giving them for sleeping friends along the way. Despite the earlier laid-back additudes, everyone's pretty professional.

Soon enough, you drive under the gate of the city. Oddly enough, the street leading off from the gate has a few blown-up storefronts and a large scorch mark in it.

A long time later, and yet no time at all, you find yourself in front of a door to a modest cottage in a forest. You have no clue how you got there, but apparently that's just dreams. The cat starts scratching at the door, interesting as there are already many gashes there.

As you guys begin boarding the boat, you morbidly notice a man who appears to have bled out on its deck.

The boat is around 15 feet long, with a small cabin near the back with crates for storing fish. The unnamed one with the hood casts the ship away from the docks, and it starts downriver.

The grappling hook works well, and you hoist yourself up into what looks like a dark crawlspace. Your eyes easily become accustomed to it after a few seconds, causing you notice an excessively large amount of sleeping raccoons.

 

Dez:"What happened hwre

 

Thorston nopes out of there.

 

I knock at the door.
Eradius: "I swear, if it's Zakhar I'm gonna flip my shit."

 

I settle down in the boat.

"Well then, that was a close shave. Now, since we're going to be sharing a boat for a while, I don't suppose I could get your names?"

 

There's increased activity around the area, mostly guards, but you don't see anything that could have caused it. It occurs to you that on your cart, everybody except the driver has fallen asleep.

You jump straight down from the crawlspace, light and nimble enough that your landing is silent. The raccoons don't seem to be awake.

The door silently swings open. You're greeted to a nice sitting room, with a fireplace on the other end. In front of it lie two armchairs facing each other, and one is occupied by a middle-aged looking elven lady. The cat immediately jumps up and into her lap.
"Eradius Verschaouk? Quite the name you have attached to yourself. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

They go around in a circle.
"Eneer."
"Rolof"
"..."
The last one hasn't spoken this whole time, and is honestly a bit creepy.

 

While everybody's sleeping I pull out Lerens wand and examine it

 

I go to a place in this house where I could sleep decently well.

 

"Well hello there, Eneer, Rolof, and...you. I'm Vivienne, high elf and treasure hunter extraordinaire."

 

I examine the place for any traps. If there aren't any I grab the chair by it's back and turn it 180 degrees, then i sit on with my knees arms resting on the chaikr's back and face the elf.
Eradius: "I might be quite old, so I might have not heard ypou or understood you right. Are you calling me an object? You said "To what do I ose the pleasure?" *I try mimicking her voice when I quote her* Maybe you meant to ask for my occupation? If so I'm an enchanter and ex-mercenary; and a fisherman... and a coock... and a teacher, although that wasn't for long, I think I also worked as a guard for a bit, hmm."
I then completely loose focus, and start thinking on what elsse did I do for a living.

 

It's very clearly fire damaged and broken, and doesn't look like it would work. Well, maybe it would work, if you define "work" as "explode in your face or worse". The wand is about a foot from end to end, built out of what was probably very expensive and luxurious wood. Plates of metal line it from end to end, and there is a petal-like structure on the head of the wand.

You grab what cloth you can find, and set up some bedding in a back room. The rear end of some party fanatic's house opens up into the back street, however, and from even here it's obnoxiously loud.

"Hello then, Vivienne. I look forward to the expedition."

*grammar nazi intensifies*

???: "Your eyes defocused, you gained a noticeable slouch, and you started going on a tangent potraying you as a kind old man. That plan only works if you don't come in looking like a hawk. I was only pointing out the mouthful that your name is, you know."

 

Oddly specific, likely foreshadowing an NPC but whatever.

I guess I'll go a bit further then.

 

I sigh and put it back in the bag. Then I pull out the locked pendant and just start examining and again opening it

 

Eradius is focused once more.
Eradius: "What plan? What are you talking about? I have no plans, I'm freestylin' baby."