Experiment: Protect The Sandwich

Because you prevented a time rift where it had to exist for basic mathematics to function, math as we know it begins to crumble. it starts with 999,999,999,999*360,000 being cataclysmically higher than it should be, and from there, a wave begins. In the time it takes for light to travel a Planck Length, all equations related to the broken one are corrupted. Within Planck Times, most of the math we use in our day-to-day lives breaks down. The wave of corruption ricochets, meaning that equations fluctuate. Things that shouldn't liquify and boil liquify and boil. Things that shouldn't shatter shatter. Things that shouldn't be black holes become black holes. Worst of all, the catapult becomes a decent siege weapon. Then, time stops. The time police materializes. They reach through dimensions to grab the croissant and delete it. The law of conservation of mass ceased to apply seconds ago They set /gamerule doTimeRifts to true, permanently. These are the consequences of messing with the fundamentals of the multiverse. They restore our universe to how it was three seconds earlier, and bring time forwards by a minute. The sandwich is still in the possession of my merchant who is willing to sell it for a few hundred quattuorvigintillion dungeon tokens. However, the croissant is no more.

 

Back from the dead with my paladins and now have my consciousness, i beat up wommby for being stoopid and reviving me. I then see the merchant take out the sandwich and we go nyoooooooom and steal it in 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 picosecond. He gets angry and calls the guards but we the paladins beat them up in 0.00000002920020292920200992020209 picoseconds. I then put it in the pedestal from the start but suddenly the sandwich disappears before my eyes because Salted deleted it cuz i stole it and use hax ;-;
Anyway we do /DeleteUniverse then an ominous black shadow suddenly appears and starts eating the universe. We then TP to a universe where i am the god of everything and we put the sandwich in a pedestal and guard it.... carefully

 

Because you are being too careful, you kill a bunch of random people that just happen to be walking near the sandwich. The cops show up to arrest you, and in the chaos, I drink a potion of invisibility and sneak in and take the sandwich. I then take it back to the witch to have it turned into a croissant again. I take the croissant to Notre Dame and plant a bunch of bombs that will blow up if the croissant is taken.

 

As you never stated which universe you were in (my universe is Universe_Pawn288019) you only stole from that of Universe_Pawn72910, which means that i still have the sandwich however you now own a croissant from Universe_Pawn72910. Xdddddddddd
I then put it in the most securererererest vault of Universe_Pawn288019 and if anyone takes the sandwich, a bunch of baby animals will be tortured and killed.... in front of your eyes!! Xd

 

Using my greatest invention, the vault-deleter, I break into the vault, rescue the baby animals, and steal the sandwich. I travel to the universe 101100001010010110101111010100111101101011010100110101110, where I gather every penguin on Earth, and every intergalactic penguin to my fort on the fourth planet in the fourth colonized solar system by the penguins in the fourth galaxy to be created by the big bang. This planet in this universe is my own personal fortress. This is where I create all my sandwich stealing technology. The icy castle covers the entire planet, which is 4/5 the size of Earth. The sandwich is kept in the most well guarded point in the stronghold, which takes weeks of travel to reach if you are not a penguin or trusted member and have teleporter access. The walls are made of the strongest material in the multiverse, and the fortress's security is designed by the founder penguins, the most advanced civilization ever to walk the multiverse. There are laser-powered anti-aircraft turrets, laser-powered anti-spacecraft turrets, incredibly powerful trebuchets, and every defense you can imagine (outside of catapults.)

 

While searching the internet, i saw this!!!


Animals



Longevity & Causes of Death
MORE ABOUT PENGUINS ›
MORE ANIMALS ›
Longevity
The average life expectancy of penguins is probably 15 to 20 years. Some individuals live considerably longer.

High mortality occurs among the young.

• Winter starvation may claim the lives of 50% of king penguin chicks.
• Emperor chicks may experience a 90% mortality within the first year of life.
• When mortality affects one chick in species producing two offspring of moderate size differences, it is usually the smaller chick that does not survive.

Predators
When in the water, penguins may be eaten by leopard seals, fur seals, sea lions, sharks, or killer whales.

On land, foxes, snakes, and introduced predators such as feral dogs, cats, and stoats (members of the weasel family) prey on eggs and chicks of some penguin species, including the yellow-eyed and Galápagos penguins.





This leopard seal (Hydrurga leptonyx) is one of the primary predators of penguins but poses more of a threat in the water than on land.



Antarctic and subantarctic eggs and chicks are susceptible to predatory birds such as antarctic skuas, sheathbills, and giant petrels. These predators may prey on chicks that have strayed from the protection of the crèche or are sickly and too weak to defend themselves.

• Skuas may work in pairs to obtain their prey. One bird distracts the penguin on the nest, and the other swoops in to steal the egg or chick.
• Sheathbills intercept chinstrap regurgitation as penguin parents feed their offspring.

Antarctic skuas (Catharacta antarctica), sheathbills (Chionis alba), and giant petrels (Macronectes giganteus) prey on penguin eggs and chicks.

Gulls and ibises eat 40% of African penguin eggs.
Little penguins rely on burrows and a nocturnal lifestyle to avoid predators such as swamp harriers, peregrines, gulls, snakes, rats, and lizards.
During a nine-season study off Ross Island, home to a breeding colony of some 130,000 pairs of Adélie penguins, killer whales were observed harassing, chasing, herding, and surrounding Adélies in the water but never consuming them.
Introduced predators including cats, ferrets, and stoats that eat chicks and eggs, and dogs that prey on adults pose the largest threat to yellow-eyed penguin populations."
With my newfound knowledge, i gather all of the predators of the pengoos
Do note they are mutated, stronger, faster and wayy smarter than average humans (excluding us)
Anyway i give them guns, bullet proof vests, lightweight netherite armor, PENGOO-DESTROYER-2000^TM(at least 900,000) and 100000000000000000000000000000000 light millenia per milisecond spacecrafts which can house 200,000,000 men in total. They also have bagels(1 billion total). We successfully go to your universe (but with a few casualties[by few i mean 200,000]) and wage war on the pengoos, you hide in the deepest of the fortress while we war and defeat the first wall. We then climb the walls and go through the castle. Suddenly we were ambushed!!!!! Caught of guard we had 1,000,000,000 casualties but happily we still have 17,009,102 men yay!! Then unexpectedly, a huge big laser fires (from one of the founders ofc) and wipes out 1/4 of my men which i possibly cannot calculate as im a lazy fck so lets pretend i lost the 9,102. Soo i lost 4.25m men sadge ;-; anyway we murder one of the founders but he blows himself up and kills 1/10 of my men... WHYYYYY?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??! so 1/10 of 13m is uhh ahh.. hmm sus 130k? Bruh nani tf anyway we go through bla bla murder pengoos losing 1/2 of my men smh my head A BIG LASE FCKING FIRES AGAIN AND MURDER LIKE WHAT 1/2 OF MY MEN???? BRHHHHHHH EEEEEEEEEEeEE WHYYYY??!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Anyway we reach you (atleast the wall where the supposedly strongest metal is there) i then punch the wall and HAVE MY HAND BROKEN EEEEHEJAPWND9WKWP OUCHHHHHH W HYYYYYYYYYYYY but i heal it anyway yay, we then see an unlocked door :P HERES JOHNNY WIWOSIQ02P2OA01OOZNZ9 you sceeam like a pengoo and you uhhh die ithink. We then steal the sandwich and put it in the pedestal where my council is and is guarding the sandwich very carefully. I would have made you my ally... but the seal really wanted to eat you : ) anyway ciao

 

I throw the croissant in a trash can and go to the universe you are in, dig underground towards the pedestal, put a chest under it, and do /fill ~ ~ ~ ~30 ~30 ~30 minecraft:hopper replace protectthesandwich:pedestal. The sandwich falls into the hopper and gets put into the chest. I put the sandwich into my ender chest and do /kill, then retrieve it and take it to the witch to have it turned into a spicy tuna roll. I take it to Japan where I create 13 million robotic samurai warriors to defend the spicy tuna roll. I put the roll inside a 50 feet thick vault made out of Azbantium, and I guard it as well armed with poisonous soy sauce spray and very pointy chopsticks. There is also a device to scramble teleportation signals. The vault is also connected to a cage full of penguins, so if you attempt to break through, the penguins will be dropped into a pool of lava.

 

I hire Trapinch0 and unleash the powers of Dern into the world. I explode everything of Wommby's vault except the Azbantium, and began the legendary battle of 13 million samurai warriors and 17 million dernic creatures. 500,000 dernic creatures survives, the vault is open, and steal the spicy tuna roll. I then put it in the depths of the ocean, then I move the Azbantium vault and make it my own. I put the spicy tuna roll in it. I place a command block to do this command: /kill @e and have it be constantly repeated. The spicy tuna roll isn't an entity and it survives, but I die and all the other things in the world dies.

________________________________

Can you possibly steal that spicy tuna roll?!

 

As pawns arent a carbon-based lifeform entity, i manage to survive and then i burn the spicy tuna roll. HA GET REKT LLLLL ALL OF YOUR WORK GONE DESTROYED. BY A PAWN WHO MANAGED TO SURVIVE THE DREADFUL COMMAN MJAHAHAHHAHQHQHQHQHAHHQH
Anyway, i tp to all of the other universes where sandwiches still exist (i also purge everyone in those universes) and now i have aprox 91919919929 e+8282 sandwiches which i scatter around the universes (keeping one with me at all times) i then station some Guards to uhhh guard the sandwiches. Gl dont take my sandwich pls i plan to eat it later owo

 

Pawns are moving, and they have minds. they're an entity.

 

Chess pawns dont. I used the act of possession to possess a chess pawn.

 

AHHHHHH
ok
calm
down
jack
calm
CALM
AHHHH
*Jackkoh has respawned.
I tp every single one of my dernic creatures onto the other universes and make them super-powered (with OP ability, spamming /kill everywhere). They place a command block with the same command as before, and tp back to the original universe. I put everyone in HARDCORE TAKE THAT and i kill all the enemy players. They plant the same command and they ALL die. No one is able to respawn, the sandwiches are all safe with their savage command blocks and I can rest

 

But... YOU UNDERESTIMATED THIS MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA *presses delete world*
MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA YOU NEVER EXPECTED THIS JACK!!!!!! NOW EXPECT A BIG BLACK HOLE TO CONSUME THE ENTIRE MULTI-VERSE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I then start a new world with infinite sandwiches so that nobody fights, also i rekt the portal to dern now uwu

 

I hack your mind and turn the infinity symbol 90° clockwise, so there are only 8 sandwiches. I gather the sandwiches and reorganize them into an octuple-deckered sandwich, and then have the witch put a curse on it, the effects of which I will not disclose, and travel back in time, putting the sandwich on display in a sandwich shop in Victorian London.

 

I use a supermaneuverable air-defense fighter aircraft to go back in time, use an uncurser on the sandwich, steal the sandwich, and go back to the present. I will keep the sandwich on me at all times in the aircraft, and I use a infina-fueler and the infinite loaf of bread and glass of water that I brought from the penguin dimension. I have all necessities with me on the aircraft, I won't land unless the sandwich is taken.

 

Dear diary,

i wake up… all of what happened above had actually been a dream…. yet, i see the sandwich… wherever i go… it seems, that i was… destined to… protect the sandwich.. i go outside and… see the sandwich in the pedestal, from the first page… nostalgic, the sandwich i wished to protect vanishes… run, i ran… for the sandwich, i must protect or my life…. means…. nothing

i… failed… thats… my greatest fear, losing.. the sandwich, all i wanted…. was peace and prosperity by making… infinite, sandwiches… however, everyone… is greedy… they want… all of the sandwiches…. so… i must fight for it…

i wake up as if everything was a dream. Enlightened, i grab the sandwich from the pedestal and run away to seal it on a far place which i will not tell. I am doing the right thing, i will protect it so that nobody see- i think

Then i hear a uhh roar thing.

Start of Transmission

turns out it was the sandwich turning into the greatest of all beasts. I seal it as fast as i could and it was successful…. now… if anyone is willing to uhh steal the sandwich, you have to take me down nig-

End of Transmission















bruh it looks like a story now smh my head owo

 

I respawn on your world, I delete that world entirely. (with hacking and all kinds of stuff)
I create a new SINGLEPLAYER AHAHAHA WORLD and I put the sandwich in the void, the sandwich isn't an entity, so it falls until the end of time.

 

did you even notice what i said ._.


ack who cares.
I hax your computer to delete that single player world and then hax your minecraft so that you cannot make any new worlds and i take the sandwich and put it in a pedestal… watching like the first page owo

 

You didn't quote the last person so I didn't connect it and I was confused lol
HOW DID YOU TAKE THE SANDWICH WHEN ITS AT Y= -30 BILLION WHAT

 

The curse that I put on the sandwich causes it to, when approached by any sort of technology, send everyone across all of time and space, except for the witch and me, who the witch protected, into a deep dream state. You only dream you woke up as if it had all been a dream, but you just started dreaming. As for Penguinboy, he starts dreaming as he approaches the sandwich shop, and dreams stealing the sandwich and getting back on the plane. I leave the sandwich shop with the sandwich, steal your plane, and return to the witch, where I have a new curse put on the sandwich. This makes everyone immediately wake up. I then launch the sandwich into the molten core of a planet where a nuclear explosion happens every millisecond, inside a box resistant to nuclear explosions.