Experiment: Protect The Sandwich

I teleport to where the sandwich is, get the sandwich, put it on the trade market, and set the price to be the integer limit and the duration to be infinite

 

I kidnap Rick Sanchez and steal his portal gun, and then I hack into your trade market and grab the sandwich with my bare hands. The sandwich turns into a black hole and starts to devour the universe, and I use the portal gun to go to another universe. In this universe, the sandwich was just put on the pedestal from page 1 of this post, so I hire a bunch of dogs and snipers and giant roombas to guard the sandwich. Also, there’s a trap at the pedestal that will stab a cute little baby fox if any movement is detected near the sandwich.

 

I revert time by a few hours in the original universe to rob the trade market and acquire the sandwich in the original universe. I then go to the page 1 universe to pay the dogs and snipers to fight for me. I use a command block to teleport the fox away as I steal the sandwich. Summoning three military divisions of penguins, my army and I warp back to the original universe where we set up a stronghold at the south pole of Mars. Protected by defense after defense are both sandwiches.

 

I get an infinity gauntlet and use it to snap away all the defenses and structures protecting both sandwiches. I get the sandwiches, create a protective barrier, and teleport into a random planet in the universe

So basically what Thanos did at the end of infinity war

 

Sad that i wasnt able to think of anything, i went on to search for ideas. While searching for ideas i somehow managed to unexpectedly restart this game back to the first page and steal the sandwich from the open pedestal. I then hire a division of wolves and snipers who will murder multiple baby foxes and other baby animals when someone is in their line of sight. I will also ask @ditsario for a giant Fred The Roomba with a knife to stab little baby foxes and doggos when someone takes the sandwich. You can take the sandwich easy peezy lemon squeezy without getting hurt, but.... multiple baby animals deaths lie in your shoulders.

Pls let borrow Fred

 

hmmm ok you can borrow fred for a little while but please do not make him murder baby animals (unless he is being really mean to everyone)

 

Ok :( i will murdr baby animals myself then

 

I rob the trade market again so I can hire the snipers to fight for me. I also feed the wolves so they fight for me. Using a knockback 1000 stick, I knock you back a couple thousand meters so that you can't harm the animals. I take the sandwich and put it back on the pedestal where it belongs. I hook it up to a laser that will destroy the galaxy if the sandwich is taken. I also put an incredibly vicious cat there just for good measure.

 

I put another cat with the incredibly vicious cat. However, I don't grab the sandwich and leave it alone.

 

Sad that i was kb'ed a couple thousand meters i went on the quest to murder cute baby foxes, which was successful and i stabbd 1000 foxes. Then i went to take the sandwich with a portal gun, after i take it i instantly travel to another dimenshone before the galaxy explods. I then giv it to @ditsario for safety measures.

 

Before the dimension explodes, I warp to the dimension you went to bringing the cats along with me. I hit you with a knockback 10000 stick, knocking you back tens of thousands of meters, rob the trade market a third time, and buy the sandwich from ditsario. I then summon 62 more cats, each more vicious than the last, along with an entire military legion of penguins, to protect the sandwich, kept at a mazelike fortress at the center of Venus.

 

I go to a galaxy far, far away, steal a bunch of stuff from the rebels, and give them to Darth Vader to gain his trust. I then tell him about a galaxy far, far away with lots of riches, and that the only threat in that galaxy is from a planet called Venus. I also say that the most powerful item in this galaxy is held deep within a stronghold on Venus. We go to the Milky Way, and the Death Star powers up and destroys Venus. Using a tractor beam the sandwich is pulled out of the wreckage. Vader has it sent to the lab for analysis. Plot twist, I also told the rebels that soon Darth Vader would be going to Venus, so they could ambush him and destroy the Death Star. The rebels come out of hyperspace, and I grab the sandwich and run to a TIE Fighter. Multiple storm troopers shoot at me from a couple feet away but they all miss, as I get in the fighter. I escape and the rebels blow up the Death Star. However, I secretly planted bombs on the X-Wings while I was at their base, so I press the detonator, and they all blow up. I then fly to a galaxy far, far away, but in the opposite direction. I land on a random planet, and blow up my Tie Fighter. I then bury the sandwich in the ground. Amazingly, this planet is populated entirely by memes. I hire a bunch of Doges, Pepes, Shreks, and nearly any meme you can think of to guard the sandwich. I also set up a nuclear missile that will fire at the nearest civilized planet if the sandwich is taken, and an electric barrier around the planet. I get a full suit of ultra-powerful armor and also sit next to the sandwich to guard it.

 

DSadge that i got sandwich-kun taken, i go to the internet and watch memes, however i got sent to a planet of dead memes. They wanted their former glory and teamed up with me to MURDER the current memes in meme planet. I then go back to earth and borrow a few extremely powerful mechs from maxie and get like a million ARs, bulletproof vests, Glocks, Grenades and 200 tanks to wage war on this so called 'meme planet'. While we travel 100 light years a second, we picked up a few rebels and storm troopers along with an injured vader to aid us in battle. You thought they were dead... and they want reveng!11!1!1!1! So we heal vader bla bla bla and we reach meme planet. A full on war breaks out between ded memes and current memes. Then i, with vader go to the pedestal where you are guarding the sandwich. I told vader i will fight you 1v1, then arises and EXTREMELY E P I C C duel between the two sandwich paladins. It was so epic that even legendary duel music played (star wars anakin vs obiwan) but inevitably, i achieved the high ground and defeated you. I then spare you for being a honourable paladin and not ambushing me after being defeated. I then take the sandwich and declare that the dead memes have won. I then stay in the meme planet with my dead memes who have regained their former glory.

 

I reset the router and turn off Wi-Fi and Mobile Data, killing all things on Meme Planet - including you. I log in as admin to the dead world and take the sandwich, giving it to Salted to make 100000 copies of and disperse around the world.

 

I turn on the wifi again as a ghost of dead meme past and along with my newly formed dead meme army whose former glory has been regained w/star wars bois, internet hackermans which will not let anyone turn of the wifi and original epicc memes + @ditsario for fred the roomba so that fred can round up all the copied sandwiches. After rounding up the sandwiches, i use the Sand-identifier 10000 to identify the real sandwich (which worked yay). I then put it in a pedestal similar to that of the first page. I then ask for an alliance since the more the merrier, if you accept i shall giv uhhh 1/3 to u and 1/3 to ditsario cuz he let borrow fred the roomba.

 

I graciously accept your offer of an alliance, as long as you buy me the finest baguette, croissant and lemon in the world.

 

1/3 of what? I don’t think we are profiting from sandwich-defending.

 

Uhh the sandwich

________________________________

Yes, i shall go on the quest to find them.

 

Wonderful. I am now your faithful ally

 

Okay, I accept. Can I have my share of the sandwich?