Corrupt A Wish!

Granted, you no longer do anything fun.

I wish my crush liked me back...

 

Granted. She'll just never admit it tho. Big Tsundere.

I wish I knew what my personality classified as.

 

Granted, but you don't like the results.

I wish I had a super power.

 

granted, its super useless

i wish i had enough sleep

 

Wish granted. You go into a coma and sleep for the rest of your life.

I wish my shop actually got customers.

 

Granted

Your shop gets angry violent customers
I wish i had something to wish 4

 

granted, it sucks tho

I wish I wasn’t sleepy all the time

 

Granted. I give you Super Mega-wake-the-fuck-up Blacker-than-Wormholes Black Coffee. You now have insomnia and will physically be unable to become unconscious for the next 20 years of your life.

I wish I had a cool tech magazine from the future.

 

Granted. You don't understand the terminology and can't access the images because you don't have the right tech to see it.

I wish you quoted.

 

Granted, he quotes socially unaccepted quote, such as:

Spoiler: Don't click this if you're sensitive

Spoiler: Like just go away

Spoiler: Many offended will be

Spoiler: Okay, here you go then

I wish I had the motivation to do the things I love.

 

granted, but you love dogs sooooooooooo

I wish I didn’t have a dirty mind

 

You don't have a dirty mind and it is literally cleansed with a vacuum. so um ur nerves may have got damaged

I wish for a pet that wouldn't annoy me and that I wouldn't need to take care of it

 

Wish granted. You have received a dead cat, congratulations!

I wish I could actually draw.

 

Granted. You have hands, you can draw! :D
Stick figures that is. :L
And... that's about it. :l

I wish I was good at drawing so I could create my own doujins

 

granted, but you can only make yaoi

i wish i could be bothered to do anything

 

Granted, you're bothered to do anything but you still don't do anything.

I wish for the blue tit (the bird...) that visits my window now and then to come back and brighten my day.

 

Granted. The bird comes to your window... but the day is brightened by malfunctioning of the sun, and it explodes.

I wish for a meaningful life

 

Wish granted, your life now means something!

And that something is that you're going to die someday.

I wish I had friends :(

 

granted, they're dead

i wish that wasnt so grim

 

Granted. You know they're actually still alive, and you'll be able to meet them soon (since they were all sent to hell).

I wish to know the next wish.