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Bullshit Your Way To Victory

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by Mardeknius, Mar 7, 2022.

  1. Sir_Doomed

    Sir_Doomed Can't think of anything to put here

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    Wait is this in-game or irl still?
     
  2. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    lets say ingame, because we went back into the game with you trying to send me into the sun
     
  3. Sir_Doomed

    Sir_Doomed Can't think of anything to put here

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    Alright. When the dust clears from the explosion, all you can see are the bodies of three kobolds surrounded by some scraps of oversized clothing. That's right, I was 3 kobolds in a trench coat this entire time! The real me hasn't been seen since the attempted reset, but he triggers the self-destruct feature he paid the kobolds to build into the city while they had control of it. I don't know what happens after, though.
     
  4. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    aww lemme guess, the top one was disguised as a goliath? well anyway LUCKILY when the dust clears from the self destruction, all you can see are the bodies of three giants, surrounded by some scraps of metal and concrete. That's right, the city was 3 giants in a trench coat the entire time! The real city is somewhere only i know about, and i still rule it
     
  5. Etherweaver

    Etherweaver Overseer of the Realm

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    Alas, beforehand, I, Etherweaver, having secretly escaped from my last predicament via a hidden teleportation device, have changed my name to the single lowercase letter “i,” allowing me to know the city’s whereabouts. I storm in with my upgraded robot army and depose you, dropping you in a pit and filling it with acid for good measure.
     
  6. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    luckily I am made of base so acid does nothing to me, and I am also a bender, so I use the acid to destroy i's armies and take over the city
     
  7. Etherweaver

    Etherweaver Overseer of the Realm

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    You fail to anticipate, though, that I have reverted the change and in turn swapped your own name for “i” in the process! You destroy your own armies, leaving mine perfectly intact, and I proceed to instead submerge you in chemicals you are highly reactive to, letting off a explosion that turns you into non-sentient clouds of dust which I trap inside multiple indestructible jars just to be safe.
     
  8. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    Luckily I sold my name to the fae, so they now think you are me, and destroy you for unspeakable crimes in the past, killing you and setting me free
     
  9. Etherweaver

    Etherweaver Overseer of the Realm

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    Alas, I am an obelisk, and technically not alive anyways. I use your true name, bound to your soul, to convince them to kill you instead, which they promptly do.
     
  10. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    i reincarnate as a fae and use your obsidian inscriptions to control you
     
  11. Etherweaver

    Etherweaver Overseer of the Realm

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    Unfortunately, you do not know how to use my obsidian inscriptions to control me as you are still not even sentient. You now proceed to stand incredibly still as I fire my contingency batch of missiles at you, not a single thought in your mind.
     
  12. Galaxias

    Galaxias wybel expert VIP

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    station here. we did not give green on missiles.
     
  13. Sir_Doomed

    Sir_Doomed Can't think of anything to put here

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    I create the Universal Detonator™ that can be used to detonate anything and give it to Tzelofachad. However, I also have a Universal Undetonator™ that can block the Universal Detonator™ from detonating something. If I ever lose control of the Universal Undetonator™, the Universal Detonator™ will immediately detonate itself.
     
  14. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    I use the detonator to detonate all ether's missiles, and all their weapons. I rule the city
     
  15. Sir_Doomed

    Sir_Doomed Can't think of anything to put here

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    Because you accepted the Universal Detonator™, I now know where you are.
    Also the Universal Detonator™ now only works if you use its full name.
     
  16. Etherweaver

    Etherweaver Overseer of the Realm

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    Unfortunately, still being completely non-sentient, you trip on a stray piece of nuclear shrapnel mid-explosion and turn into radioactive dust.
     
  17. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    i fly into your mouth and give you cancer
     
  18. Etherweaver

    Etherweaver Overseer of the Realm

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    Being merely a sentient obsidian obelisk, I do not have a mouth, and thus cannot have cancer. After wasting time hurtling yourself at me, you decay into even smaller pieces of radioactive waste.
     
  19. Tzelofachad

    Tzelofachad Owner of the Rift, manager of the Uz hotel HERO

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    i reform into a fae, and use eldritch magic to turn you irrevocably into a human
     
  20. Etherweaver

    Etherweaver Overseer of the Realm

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    Alas, I still do not have an exact name after the previous faerie shenanigans, and you simply turn yourself, as it technically is a name you go by, into a powerless human instead. You are also still not sentient, and I promptly swoop in and use the Rubric of Ahriman to turn you into a pile of lifeless dust.