Bullshit Your Way To Victory

However little did you know I secretly crafted a diamond sword with 4 diamonds ( it's even longer) . You now have to run away when I wave it threateningly

 

Your sword is so heavy that it snaps in half, and, no longer threatened, I come back and kick you out, bringing in an army of crabs

 

oh shoot. I turn into a snail.

 

I set the city on fire.

Not as part of any plan to capture the city, I just think it'll be funny.
Also wth has happened since I stopped following this thread

 

Unbeknownst to all, I secretly drop a single normal-seeming rock into the city. The rock has two properties: it's completely indestructible, and upon contact with anything following my placement of it there, it will cause an incredibly violent explosion in a random part of the city. I now promptly leave.

 

*imitates snail noises to avoid suspicion.

 

A player searching for the snail set accidentally kills you.

I put anti-crab drugs all over the city. Your army dies. I then come back in the city and throws an actully normal rock at @Etherweaver 's rock-looking explosive.

 

what no go away you already won one of these (/j you can stay - the thread has descended into complete existential temporal nonsense)

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An explosion occurs in the fire station, which is utterly decimated. This occurs while the city is still on fire, and, as such, thousands die due to not having access to the fire department.




that is all.
I still have control over the city even if my crabs are dead

 

Yeah but the last one was hilarious and I wanted to do it again.
(You should probably put out that fire btw)

 

What happened? Well here's a list: cloning ; battles that happen within 7 dimensions ( a human exists within 3 dimensions), a lot of smashing with COSMICALLY LARGE HAMMERs, the list goes on

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I steal all your double visions ,passus luxs and water buckets, and then I kick you off the tallest tower again. Now that both @Elytry and @Mardeknius is ded I take the city for myself

 

Seven-league boots exists tho-
But, no, I didn’t have any of those.


You own the city, which is now in complete shambles. Public infrastructure has now completely collapsed, and most of the city is dead. You try desperately to fix things, but to no avail. As the last resident of the city dies, you sit there wishing someone a little more competent had been there to help you.
Which is when I, with my Elytra, come crashing through the window. I deliver a flying kick to your face so powerful that you are sent flying to Mars, where you suffocate and freeze simultaneously. I then clone myself a couple million times and repopulate the city with those, and we rebuild everything

 

While you're watching Mars to make sure Phanleankoi's really dead, I sneak into the ruins of the city and sabotage the cloning equipment so it puts mind control chips in all the clones. With the entire population of the city under my control, I overthrow you and take over the city myself.

 

Woah, no, that snail wasn't me. That was the one I was imitating.

YOU. FELL. RIGHT INTO. MY. TRAP. (No, seriously, I was expecting that.)

I shapeshift into a fish and tell the squid nation about humanity's treachery against the animal kingdom.

The Squid Uprising is now in full motions. There are now

Spoiler: this many unkillable, flying squids

10,000,000

that you have to deal with.
@Mardeknius
@Sir_Doomed
You may want to take a look at this.

 

[friendly reminder that using the antiantibs guards is illegal. they do not exist within the boundaries of the game.]

I befriend the squids, not through any trickery or anything I’m just being nice to them, and together we conquer the city. Not much to say.

 

[You didn't reply to the post where I used antiantibs guards. This post simply compared the squids and antiantibs guards.]

The squids DESTROY the city. (While you're in it. It was an accident, no trickery or anything.) I, the great snail architect, rebuild the city. However, I buy all the buildings after their construction. I own every building in the city, ergo, I own the city.

 

After learning about your supposed death, I realise it was too easy to be real and secretly use Mardeknius' cloning devices to make nanobots to track you with. Unfortunately, the nanobots don't work underwater, but I bribe one of the squids and discover your plan to destroy and rebuild the city. I then pay the same squid to tweak your blueprints so that your house is directly on top of the indestructible explosion rock. From there, it was a simple matter of installing a device to remotely trigger the rock while you're underneath it, and cloning myself and having the clone take my place in the city while I hide elsewhere. Once you've been blown up, I send another clone to steal the deeds to the city before anyone else can and have it take control of the city.

 

this is peak creativity
However little did you know that I was affected by gravity and use one out of the 500 billion ( like literally why did you have that much?) anti-fall damage items I stole from you to land safely. I then take control of SirDoomed by taking the brain chips from one of your clones. You have one clone left ( becuz no brain chip)

 

While squabbling, none of you have done a single thing about the rock placed directly in the middle of the city’s streets. As a result, due to civilians and cars treading over it frequently, explosions rocket the city.

As a natural result, its civilians quickly believe you’re responsible for the damage and overthrow you in short time. The city is now leaderless.

 

I control all the citizens except one, they can't overthrow me!

 

However, you still apparently do nothing about the rock and continue to blow the city into bits. The population slowly decreases until an army led by me marches in and easily takes it, removing your brain chips from its civilians.
I now take control, noticing that the rock has conveniently buried itself under fifty feet of rubble.