Bullshit Your Way To Victory

I rebuild the city's previous defences, and install giant robots around the city boundary to protect it from external threats.

 

I stand on the city walls and enjoy the view, as I don't have to fight now.

 

After over a year, I've finally befriended all the piranha guards. My clone (look at the messages after the one I've quoted, this has all been a clone of me) has been exiled, but I'm just fine. I get into the city with no problem, but now I need to get my clone in.
The robot guards stand in our way, but I use the Mechanical Reactor from an Iron Heart to make them all malfunction.
Now that both myself and my clone are in here, there are several things that must be taken care of.

Primarily, I push this guy off the wall, and he falls to his certain demise.

Then, I take my Bee Whistle back from this guy, and use it to summon an army of bees.

The army of bees, along with Craig (from the above post), begin to attack the city.
The guards are trying to fight off the bees and Craig, but it's a losing battle. Buzzing hordes mow down soldiers like machine-gun fire, and Craig runs through the city, causing rampant destruction.

In the midst of it all lies Toucanus. Toucanus, God of the Toucans, brings down upon the city a wrath, the likes of which have yet to be seen by this thread. His mere glance can destroy city blocks, and his army of toucans, numerous as the bees, obliterate everything in their path.

When the dust settles, the city is no more.



so I hire some contractors and pay 'em to make a new one
which I own

Also, I send my clone, along with Toucanus and Craig, to a pocket dimension that nobody can access.

 

being a voidling, i teleport under trapinch and save him from the fall, and we, along with wizard, escape from the chaos back to the city of peace

 

However, I steal the remnants, even the ground the city was on, and condense them into a snow globe of a lively city.
I own the snow globe.

 

I turn everything in the City of Peace into Jell-O. Millions of children, from all around, run to the City of Peace, and eat it within minutes.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE CITY.

________________________________

congrats but that's not the city that's some dust

 

Technically the snowglobe is the city

 

if I take a crumb from a sandwich and then the rest gets blown up, do I have the sandwich?
No.
No I don't.

 

You have the remainder of the sandwich.
You have the sandwich, but you do not have a sandwich.

Simultaneously, by putting it in a snowglobe, I've technically completely repaired the city - with the slight side effects that the city is now tiny, empty, and in a glass shell.

 

I shoot the snowglobe with the black hole gun I have and now it is no more

HAPPY?!

 

For this foul crime, you are smited by the corgi’s divine wrath, reduced to mere molecules of dust for your inconsideration of the city’s inhabitants. The corgi then, channeling its memories of the old haven through its near-unlimited power, rebuilds the City of Peace from the ground up.
As you technically no longer exist, I finally step in and claim the new City of War as my own, bribing the contractors-and then erasing all evidence of your past claim to it. I now hold the city.

 

Remember this? As the nanobots can imitate any material, I snuck into the contractor's warehouse and replaced their building materials with my nanobots. As the city is made from the nanobots, and I own the nanobots, I now own the city.

 

Quite unfortunately, you all have once again made the mistake (for the fourth time now) of forgetting about my immense army. While the nanobots are charging following your takeover, my men firebomb the city and reduce the bots to scrap metal, which we use to reconstruct the city.

 

sorry I don't know WHAT you're talking about but according to Frenetic I do technically exist
(if the city existed as dust, I do too)
Because you phrased your second paragraph as "because you no longer technically exist", and that statement is false, so is the rest of the paragraph.
My clone hops out of the pocket dimension and fixes me with flex tape and then together we abolish capitalism within the city.
Then the clone leaves for the pocket dimension

________________________________

yeah Toucanus comes in (along with Craig) and I blow the Bee Whistle once more. After a long-fought battle, your army is finished, and mine remains standing.

For this foul crime (bombing the city), you are smited by Toucanus’s divine wrath, reduced to mere molecules of dust for your inconsideration of the city’s inhabitants. Toucanus, then, channeling its toucan powers, demolishes the City of Peace from the top down.

As you only exist as molecules, I finally step in and claim the new City of War as my own, erasing all evidence of your past claim to it. I now hold the city.

 

The corgi, its sight transcending multiverses, is angered by your attempt to cheat the system and this time repeatedly smites you until you truly, this time, no longer exist. My clone, almost slightly confused at what just happened, takes the city, nullifying all of your laws apart from the legislature dictating the removal of capitalism.

 

You fool! You just killed Mardek, Founder of the Realm.
These actions will have profound lore implications, especially as this thread takes place during the the same time as the Backways Bar (pre-realm, that is). If you choose not to undo this action, UZB lore will be forever, irreversibly altered.

yes, this is where Mardek went after they left the Bar.

 

DesolateDiscord summons the other 14 clones, and they perform a ritual to bring back the original DesolateDiscord, at full power once more. The sixteen AdjectiveNouns collectively capture the entire city singlehandedly, and offer everyone involved an equal share.

We've already determined that this thread has no lore impacts outside of this thread, so this doesn't happen.

 

Bill Jones' head appears through an interdimensional doorway.
"Actually, it can impact other things, in rare circumstances, such as this one."




and I have EVIDENCE for this
check bb thread

 

Ahem
WHY

 

@Etherweaver, clock's a-ticking
I'll start writing an epilogue where Mardek dies if you start entirely rewriting UZB lore