Bullshit Your Way To Victory

They're all exact duplicates to the atom

 

If I duplicated you to the exact atom as well, you wouldn't be the same person either. You'd be identical, but not unified.

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*mind blow = throne is mine*

 

Except I'm sentient. The chair is not.

 

I use the power of bullshittery and lazy writing to claim the throne.

Btw I wasnt tagged by the guy after me so I missed out on 2 whole pages :(

 

Horseshit > Bullshit.

Throne's mine now.

 

But you needed to use Bullshit, not Horseshit. Because of that, you're removed from the throne and I take it.

 

All the shit around you gives you cholera and you die.

After giving the throne a long wash because of the... Unfortunate effects of cholera, I replace every part of it, ship-of-theseusing my way to the throne.

 

I make an army of trebuchets to surround the city. The city collapses under the sheer force of launching 90kg projectiles over 300m.

I put the throne in space and I now have possession of it.

 

You fucking die because you're in space.
I use a nuclear warhead to blast the throne back down to earth, which causes a giant EMP that destroys global electric infrastructure. my throne.

 

The throne dies because you just blew it up with a nuclear warhead.

The only remains of the throne is a subatomic particle randomly on the Earth. Using a Mega Ultra Super Awesome Amazing Maximum Microscope 2: Electric Boogaloo™, I track down the particle. It is now in my possession.

 

I put you in an impenetrable box because you have the throne. So now I have it because I have you.

 

Well, jokes on you, because the particle allows me to pass through any wall.

 

I clone the particle and use the clones to recreate the throne. I obliterate the first particle and send the throne into space. I sit on it with my spacesuit and claim it.

 

Wait, so all of the particles can phase through shit?
Then how did you get it?
This throne is unattainable.

Luckily, the city's still there so I take it over.

 

I warp back in time in order to gather all five Crusades to take over the city.
des vult

 

only the first one wins, and I take it back into Muslim land.
deus vult my ass

 

While you're there, terrorists end up capturing you and holding you hostage. I pay $1 for them to execute you.

Using the power of Patrick's "move it over there", I move the city to the depths of the ocean. I give myself a suit to infinitely breathe underwater.

 

yeah, but how the fuck are you able to withstand the pressure of the depths of the ocean?
I move the city back.

 

You get crushed by the city as you try to move it.

The city is somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and nobody knows where it is now.
Except for me.

 

I fucking stab you.
Now nobody knows, because you're dead.

oh wait