Bullshit Your Way To Victory: The Revival

fuck

 

I join with Hillary on our plot for revenge. Through well placed emails, the city falls to anarchy, and I take over as savior.

After that cuz bloody ninjas are back from extinction by samurai.

And yes.

 

YAY

 

I hack into your computers and send a series of highly offensive e-mails to everyone from your e-mail addresses. The citizens riot, causing the central government to remove you from power... And place me as the supreme ruler of the city.

 

you also literally caused the fucking apocalypse.

they elect me as mayor because i'm not a dickweed

 

Fortunately for me Im an amazing hacker, and I leak you photos of being together with Donald Trump. Your citizens revolt and replace you with me for their leader. I start a technological revolution and make the city into a giant hacking community.

 

You've created a time split in which everyone dies, creating a new universe with a new city that I own.

 

Seems legit.
I broker a deal with you to where I am your economical advisor. I now own the city's money.

 

i fire you

easy enough

 

lol well played

 

However, the city is part of a larger nation which I control so, technically, it is my city.

 

However, the nation is part of a world which I control so, technically, it is my city.

(England is my city)

 

But the nation was taken over by aliens, who were taken over by more aliens, then taken over by more aliens who renamed it to dern, then taken over by Grian who named it Bloomi and then I took it.

I guess it's my city now.

 

However, the world is part of a federation made up of several planets contained in the galaxy where this planet is located, which I am the head of, hence it's mine.

 

I use a giant death ray to remove you from existence. The people of the city worship me in fear and it is now mine

________________________________

Timeline split again...

 

eh you forget something. i have a twin who has a friend who has a twin who has a friend who has an uncle who also has a twin who also has a nephew who has a brother who has a pet goldfish who is related to another pet goldfish who also had a twin who is identical to me.

and you killed him.



so i still own it boi.

 

I eat you. And your entire family, no matter how far removed. My city!!

 

heh but it's opposite day so u ate yourself.

I DON'T own the city.

 

However, it was no longer opposite day when you said that, meaning the city is up for grabs. Mine.

 

But little did you know you were at the wrong city...

Still mine