Bri'ish Wynncraft: Midway Madness (Part 2/3)

___test · Jul 19, 2022

Part 1: https://forums.wynncraft.com/threads/briish-wynncraft-humble-beginnings-part-1-3.301374/

Refresher: After I (cool guy) had a shootout with the cops (uncool people), did errands for a homeless guy and went to an anime convention, a rift in reality appeared, showing Queen Elizabeth II’s evil intentions. Suddenly a mysterious creature appeared right before me, but who could it be?

Unexpectedly, the creature revealed itself from the darkness it was cloaked in.

Turns out it was just a grandma lol, or WAS IT??? You can never be too sure. Do you know who else is a grandma? QUEEN ELIZABETH II.

I stood my ground, weary of the wench’s spells and curses.

She opened her rotten mouth, and as she did I could feel the souls of the damned escaping from within.

She said: “What is a young man like you doing out here? And why are you wearing a police costume??”

She had seen right through my disguise, grandma’s got wits.

“Hello ma’am I assure you that I am a police officer. I am looking for the nearest library so that I can shoot the books (cop stuff)”

I clearly persuaded her, because she ended up leading me to the library. Which I would also soon enough learn, was her lair. (Turns out she’s a librarian, fitting for an old hag like her.)

Inside there I tried absorbing the books for free skill points, just like I had theorized. This however proved to be fruitless, as I didn’t know how to actually do that.

As I traversed this damned place I felt filled with dread. I ended up finding a room that seemed to be hidden away, right behind a bookshelf. Inside was a running computer, a program was open. That program was a game… which game it was will shock you. It was 2015 indie hit UNDERTALE!!!!

What the hell!?? My curiosity got the better of me, and I went to check the game… it was a “pacifist” run. This means that the person playing the game made sure to spare every single enemy. What kind of MONSTER could possibly enjoy an rpg without killing any enemy? That thought may have scared me, but something else instilled much more fear into my heart… The realization.

I could hear the grandma walking towards the room, along with her slow claps.

“Bravo. It seems as though you have found my deepest secret.”

That’s right. The old woman looked like an ancient fossil, she could have probably been thousands of years old. This, coupled with the fact that she not only played undertale, but she also did a pacifist run could only indicate one thing. SHE WAS LARI!!!!

In a flash the old hag teleported the both us into the middle of the library, where she started levitating.

Books started flying around, circling us. I quickly pulled out my gun and shot the witch twice, but to no avail, she had some kind of magic shield. She magically launched the books towards me, I wanted to hide behind the bookshelves but they were empty now.

Nevertheless I kept shooting her, in hopes that I maybe could break the magic protection. Another 7 bullets went in, nothing. She retaliated by summoning DEADLY knives of DEATHLY DEATH and shooting them straight at me. Luckily I managed to dodge them all, this caused her to slam down on the ground, making me lose balance.

Still, I managed to shoot her 127 more times, but nothing happened. This caused me to think that I had to change my tactics, but also that “damn this gun has a lot of ammo”.

I tried to reason with her, so I told her that if she wanted to spare everyone then she also shouldn’t kill me. But this is Lari we are talking about, she apparently gets to make the rules on that.

I was starting to lose hope, but that was when I saw him… Someone had just burst through the library’s doors. And he was none other than the man himself, MARKIPLIER!!! :DDDD

“Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Undertale.” Said the man himself.

“holy crap it’s markiplier!!!! i am so happy that you are covering my favourite game :)))” But the witch had spoken too soon.

“Today we will be doing the superior genocide route.”, finished Markiplier, to the shock of the old hag.

Lari was traumatized, she stood as still as a stone statue, yet this wasn’t enough to end her focus. But nothing could have prepared her for what was about to happen.

After a few seconds she turned into ash. Good riddance, stupid bitch.

Turns out that Markiplier was drinking his daily dose of milk when the same thing that happened to me happened to him. Around the time that I felt the ground shaking, another portal also had formed inside of Markiplier’s home, and through it he saw the entirety of my confrontation with Lari.

We ended up talking for a while exchanging experiences with the portals, and we all came to the same conclusion. It must have been Queen Elizabeth II’s doing.

We both agreed to join forces and go confront that old hag, so while I couldn’t absorb the books in the library for skill points I at least now had the help of the big man.

(Oh and I also gave him the bow I got from the anime convention)

Now the plan was to go to Buckingham Palace, where the queen resides. Markiplier said that he knew a shortcut there, so I decided to follow his lead.

After walking a while we eventually came to a bridge, something about it felt familiar… but I decided to ignore that feeling.

As we crossed it we suddenly heard shots being fired.

“DO NOT RESIST, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR KILLING JERRY!! And uhh… LAW STUFF!!!”

Oh noes, the cops were after us!! That’s what you’d think, right? WRONG!! Thanks to my newfound knowledge I knew that those weren’t neither cops nor the hunted players I thought they were. THEY WERE THE QUEEN’S SLAVES!!

And they were attacking us with the excuse that I had committed “first degree murder among many other crimes” or whatever the hell that is.

Markiplier’s sigma male aura naturally reflected all the bullets they shot at him, but I was only an alpha male, so as you can see I was put in quite the pinch. Nevertheless I still shot them with my gun (which has infinite ammo I think), but all my shots were missing.

That was when I heard something, or someone, falling out of the sky.

HOLY CRAP???? Pewdiepie?? Today was my lucky day!
Now everything made sense.

The bridge we were standing on was the infamous Pewdiepie’s Bridge!!

Pewdiepie immediately went and confronted the evil men, forcing them to retreat back to their headquarters

After Pewdiepie helped us fend off against the cops he decided to also join us on our quest to defeat the queen.

I ended up giving him a book I had found in the library about different races and cultures, so that he wouldn’t repeat the mistake he committed on that bridge years ago.

After crossing the bridge we found ourselves in a dead end, it was only the ocean as far as the eye can see.
Markiplier said that he didn’t remember this place being like this before, so he decided to go talk with a local.

But wait, what was a chicken doing there? OH NO, it was a trap!!
I tried to warn Markiplier, but it was far too late. The old man turned his face towards us, revealing his identity.
“MUAHAHAHAHA! You fools aren’t going nowhere!”

HE WAS NOHNO, THE CARETAKER OF THE WYNNCRAFT CHICKENS!!!

He started summoning EVIL chickens using an EVIL summoning ritual.

Me and Markiplier shot the dude, while Pewdiepie distracted the chickens.

In the end we emerged victorious, having beaten the hell out of that old man.

The thing is, Nohno was so badly injured that he couldn’t even talk anymore (whether or not he was even breathing at all is a whole another topic), so we couldn’t ask him for info.

We didn’t know what to do, if we wanted to get to Buckingham Palace we would need to cross the vast ocean.
Markiplier was talking about how there used to be no water here, and how he doesn’t understand how the sea levels could have risen so much as to the point of creating an entire ocean (climate change is a bitch).

That was when we heard something, 2 very distinct words.

“Enough talk”

Holy wackadoodles!! It was Eric “Badlands” Booker from youtube channel “BadlandsChugs”! Before I was even allowed to acknowledge his almighty presence he was already in the ocean, putting his scheme into practice.

The madlad had just drained all water on earth! Now we could safely go to Buckingham Palace to confront the queen.

Badlands wanted to join the team, so since I didn’t have any nifty item to give him I just let him devour Nohno’s remains.

Killed two birds with 1 stone, baby! The guy got a tasty meal and the evidence of the crime had now been erased.

Now that the gang was ready, we parted into England, to finally put a stop to Queen Elizabeth II’s evil schemes. We had to hurry tho, if we didn’t get there quickly enough climate change would raise the sea level back to normal!! (goddamn icebergs)

To be continued…

Part 3: https://forums.wynncraft.com/thread...ishing-finality-part-3-3-grand-finale.301425/

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Bri'ish Wynncraft: Midway Madness (Part 2/3)

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___test Well-Known Adventurer