Bad Pun Competition

What does a sheep say after you stole its wool? Sheariously!
Just Leaf Me Alone
Keep Track of Your Puns

 

Water you even doing?! Seriously. You should liQUIT right now.

 

I'll add on with some chemistry ones...

Two scientists walked in a bar. The first one said," I want H20." The second one said,"Hey, I want H20 two!" The second one died shortly after.

One ion went up to another ion and said," I think I lost my electron." The other one said," Are you sure?" "I'm positive!"

I have my ion you.

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium? "HeHe."

 

I believe someone already said these, but I'll reiterate them on the topic of science.

What's the rustiest ride at the carnival?
The ferrous wheel.

Two kittens are on a roof. Which one falls off first?
The one with the lowest mu. (works better said aloud- is pronounced like mew)

What do you do when a chemist dies?
You barium.

EDIT: Found the person. Shoutout to @TrashcanMan.

 

A Pun-God arrives....


"some serious cat-related pun battles here, they're CLAWsome!"
"did you touch a rose? maybe THISTLE make you feel better!"
"did my puns win? there's no shame in SHAYMIN tryin' is there?"
"should i keep going? i don't wanna jynx it!"
"where did you get that? yea, on your face... i mustache you this question!"
"don't drink too cresei, if you get what am sayin'"
"when i heard about the renewable energy on the surface, i was a... fan already!"

"oh man, Undyne hates this one. "your so soFISHsticated!""

 

I'm going to punish you all for these.

They are war crimes that can only be dealt with in a punitive manner.

I'll whoop your asses so hard the Punic Wars would seem more appealing.

Once I'm done with my verbal assault, I shall start by punting you so far you go team rocket on me.

Punks like you are punched every day for good reason.

I'd make a joke about the Tokyo Ghoul song Unravel, but I could just call it Unspun.

On days like this, I feel rather spunky.

You need to brush up on your punctuation.

I'll expunge your miserable vocabulary like an ancient Persian army.

 

Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium "the medical elements"?
Because if you can't heli'um or curi'um, you bari'um!

How do Harry Potter get down the hill?
Walking, J. K. Rolling!

 

those puns are puntastic.

 

Thank you :D
The one I took from Heimerdinger from LOL the other I took from a friend XD

 

So you stole a pun?

Ok I punderstand

 

How punderful.

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Just gonna say this one because you mentioned Undyne and fish.
The official ship name for Undyne and Alphys is Alfish.