Anti-jokes!

I love those jokes.

How do you get a baby out of a hay stack?

Use a pitchfork.

 

What's the difference between a carrot and a dead baby?

I don't get carrots stuck in my teeth.


What's the difference between a dead baby and wood?

I don't have a wood floor//I don't burn wood in my fireplace//I don't have a house made of wood.

 

Bill Gates goes to purgatory.

St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".

First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds.

Bill chooses Hell.

About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons.

Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?"

St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."



A grandson runs up to his grandfather and asks him if he can talk like a frog.

"Of course not," says the grandfather.

A few minutes later, his granddaughter asks him the same question.

"No, of course not. Why are you both asking me this?"

The granddaughter replies, "Dad said that when you croak, we can go to Disneyland."

 

That last one tho.

 

THIS IS GOLD

 

*Doge uses Necromancy magic*

 

What happens when you set up a really long joke, and it has a unsatisfying ending?

Something probably, I don't know.

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

 

Good one xD

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Oh. Mah. God.
That actually is an anti joke.
I never realized.
THE CLASSIC CHICKEN JOKE!

 

You have written the ultimate anti joke.

The anti anti joke

 

Is he God now?.

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Just realized we passed 100 posts, 2 months ago...

 

What's the difference between a jew and harry potter?


One made it out of the chamber

 

xD

What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make black people run.

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How do Chinese people name their babies? They throw them down the stairs and see what noise they make.

Ok, I'm done with the racist jokes for now.

 

So a comedian gets on stage, it's his first time performing, and he's a bit nervous.

Everything goes as expected.

 

I don't know if this was already posted so:
A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender finds this a bit odd and realizes he is in a dream. He wakes up from the dream and proceeds to tell his wife about the dream. His wife ignores him. The bartender turns over and cries because his marriage is in shambles.

 

Ima tag someone to get over here.
@Ryguy

 

Why did Sally fall off the swing?...
...Because she had no arms!

Knock knock.
(who's there?)
Not Sally.

 

Interesting jokes...

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
I don't know, you tell me!

 

P@: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P@: To get to the other side.
P!: But that's a joke, not an anti-joke.
P@: Actually it's neither, it's a statement.