Anti-jokes!

A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.

The e-mail reads:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

 

Featured anti-joke beats it, but that's a good one.

 

There are two types of people in this world.

Those who can extrapolate from missing information,

*leaves*

 

not an antijoke....

 

kind of an anti-joke.

 

Why didn't Jesus like pizza?







Because he didn't exist.

Are you triggered?

 

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
Get in the van.

 

Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road

BECAUSE IT WAS DISABLED

 

Why did the chicken walk across the street? To get hit by a van.

What did the sea say to the ocean? Nothing, they can't talk.

And his name is... Spiderman.

What do you call something cold, soft and bloody? That corpse over there.

 

Why the chicken cross the road?

To see his flat friend

 

That was almost original.

 

How did the dead chicken cross the road?

In a KFC bucket

 

Two muffins are sitting in an oven, one says "It's hot in here."
The other screams "AHHHHH! TALKING MUFFIN!"

 

What's grey and bad for your teeth?
A brick.

Ask me if I am a Mantis
" r u mantis"
No. I am a person.

 

Once upon a time there was little boy called Tommy. He very liked bears. He had lots of teddy bears. When Tommy had his 7th birthday he pleased God for real animal. Next day Tommy was ready, He came to forest and started looking for his new friend. After hours of searching, he ended. As you can know he and his new friend met each other. Tommy was watching some squirrels when some pedo man hit him in head and took him to his van. Next, he stole his vital organs, dig a veeery big hole and threw body into.

 

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

A black person, an arab, a blonde, and a pirate walk into a bar. That is a great example of diversity.

Yo momma's so old, she's probably going to die soon.

Yo momma's so fat, she has to wear large clothes.

Why don't women wear wrist watches? Because they're becoming obsolete with the advent of cell phones.

A bear walks into a bar. The bartender chases him back outside and calls the cops.

A blonde husband and a brunette wife love each other very much. One day, the brunette got pregnant and the blonde swore to take care of her. She finally started giving birth, and out popped two beautiful baby boys. She named them Jerry and Harry, and the family lived a happy life.

 

I love all this originality that's happening.

 

what did little timmy want for Christmas?

Parents

 

If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train

 

Why are black people so stupid and lazy?

For the most part, they aren't, and if you think they are, you're racist.