quests summed up poorly

That was so unremarkable I scrolled past it multiple times checking for them. And it didn't even touch on the best part.

 

I went through EotS and all I gotta say about it is: You must be tripping balls harder than Yahya if you believe that EotS is shit.

 

lemme fix that for you

marauder's dues

norsten: fuck you pay me
norsten: no seriously, if you wanna go through, fuck you pay me
norsten: hnnnngggggg
norsten: oh hey i'm free, you gotta help me, i don't have much time
norsten: that asshole mage in the giant tower enslaved me, go kick his ass pls
norsten: hnnnngggggg
norsten: fuck you pay me

???: hey gtfo or i'll have to kick your ass
???: i know you're here and why you're here, you better gtfo
???: fine come up here, i'll just have to kick your ass
[one long spiral staircase later]
volmor: lemme kick your a- oh shit i don't have the right wand
volmor: whatever i'll let the guy go, just take this ball an-
[totally unconvincing "accident"]
volmor: WHOOPS LOL DROPPED IT GUESS YOU GOTTA JUMP DOWN THERE AND GET IT
[wew gravity]

volmor: lmao i told him to jump down there and he did it the absolute madman
volmor: anyway gl getting out of there alive
volmor: (lmao still can't believe he did that, that fucking madman)

[one super long climb later]

norsten: fuck you pay me
norsten: no put that thing in my hand, not my forehe-hnnngggggg
norsten: o hey you saved me, thanks a bundle
norsten: here take this shit as a reward for saving me also you get to use this door anytime you want

reward:
lots of xp
lots of emeralds

 

Fixed it.

 

I can still see my original post. No one's gonna be fooled.

 

I'm disappointed. Not one word regarding Volmor's flamboyancy.

________________________________

Well, I'm not gonna edit YOUR post, but don't worry I knew what you meant.

 

Wynnexcavation Site D:

cirlas: YO THE KING IS PANICKING HE'S DOWN IN HIS PANIC ROOM
corlos: BY THE WAY HE PUT A PUZZLE THERE

*666 puzzles later*

king of trams: WHAT YU DOING HERE?
king of truums: YO KID DAT WYNNEXCAVATION IS SO DANGEROUS DON'T FACE THEM

*gets out, and escapes trams*

???: YO HERE'S OUR CAMP, RUN!!!!!!!!!111!111!

*runs to camp*

traitor theemas: GET US SOME MAP FRAGMENTS KID

*gets map fragments*

traitor theemas: OK YOU GOT THEM YOU'RE ALLOWED IN NOW

traitor amadoll: THEM MAP FRAGMENTS MAKE DAT BUILDING GET THEM BEFORE WYNNEXCAVATION DOES

*goes to temple*

*solves puzzles*

amadoll: IT WAS ALL PLANNED NOW GO IN THAT HOLE

*3 boss battles and 666 deaths later*

king of rigni: YOU DEFEATED WYNNEXCAVATION HERE'S A TOKEN

 

I'm not blind and everyone else sure as hell is not blind either. You really underestimate people's attention to detail AKA what's said in my sentence.

 

The joke was that you said EOTS was good, against a popular opinion so I edited your quote in order to be facetious.

 

From The MOTHERFUCKING Mountains

Anrod: HELP MY FLOWER IS DYING BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE FLERIS WHO IS THE REAL PROBLEM BUT I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER YET! GO FIND THIS OLD COOT IN THE MOUNTAINS!

Rynver: ALNDKLDBNLKBLSKNDKNDLDNDLDN

(gets gross dentures back to him)

Rynver: If you want that flower which contains his soul from wilting, I suggest you go back all the way to the nearest bank in Llevigar and get that old Breathing Helmet that you never used ever since that quest with the Pirates, and bring me a water spirit tear from the swirly toilet of DOMNANDNDNDLKNKLSNS.

(gets tear)

Rynver: Ok, now go back to IHDSABDKLADNLKANDN

Anrod: QUICK PUT THE WATER ON IT!

(evaporates)

Anrod: NOW I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT THAT FLERIS THAT CAME BY AND IS ACTUALLY THE CAUSE OF THAT! THIS WOULD'VE BEEN A MUCH SHORTER QUEST IF YOU WERE TO JUST GO IN AND KILL THE FLERIS BUT I JUST WANTED TO MAKE IT LONGER FOR THE SAKE OF THE PLOT!

(kills one fleris when there are a shit-ton of them in the cave aswell)

Anrod: MY FLOWER IS BETTER AGAIN EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE MORE OF THEM IN THAT CAVE WITH THE ROOTS! I'LL PROBABLY BE FINE!

- end quest -

 

??? summed up:

ALL THE DAMN METEORRRRRSSSS

 

Maltic's well (I literally did a random lottery on the quest list)
Rymde: Hey! thar be a witch in this well, and i ain't able to grapple with the thing!
Rygsed: So as you can notably see, the problem of the witch being in our fine well is a damned huge problem, mate!
Rygshd: we ain't able to fell the beast, so we need ye' to kill it
Riregud: So go in there and kill the thing!

One miniboss that has no business in a damned well later

Rhrgel: Ye did it lad!
Rthoer: Now take some exp's, lad and a weird letter that you'll use pretty Soon™

 

New christmas quest:

Some dude: yas we gut 2 host cruftmas aftur 3 or 4 years.

Some dude: Anyways, an bunch of homeless kiddos got added into the side of almuj this christmas so you prob gotta help them cause no one else gives a shit about them.

*Short walk*

Santa's loser brother: Oh shit someone actually came here to help these bums.

Santa's loser brother: Well these guys need food this christmas and only this christmas cause they all teleported here today somehow and dont need food any other day of the year.

Santa's loser brother: There is an ex homeless person litterally 10 blocks away so go ask him for food cause Im a lazy bum.

*Short walk*

Shop dude: Yo fam I just sold everything so Im rich af but wont give you money since you are only asking for food.

Shop dude: Go into my attic litterally 3 blocks away and check for food cause im a lazy asshole.

*short walk*
*finds living apple that is respawning*

Shope dude: Oh you found an endless supply of apples?

*throws apples away*

Shop dude: no food 4 you. Sucks to suck.

*short walk*

Santa's loser brother: Welp that sucks. Normally you would fight something now, but since there are scrubs that JUST joined the game today, we gotta make walking simulator quests.

Santa's loser brother: Go give this carpet to that old hag living the monster infested and parkour filled cave then beg other guys for food.

*gives chick blanket*
*falls in random hole*
*fails at parkour once*
*/kills to ternaves*

Farmer: You gotta stand 10 blocks away to talk to me.

Farmer: I aint givin you shit

Farmer: Some weirdo is coming over here.


Santa's loser brother: Hey! Im just coming from detlas for no fucking reason so lets go beg my successful brother santa for food.

*SUMMONS A PORTAL TO SANTA REALM*

*Runs*
*parkours*
*runs from icicles*
*barges into santa's house and creeps into basement*


Santa's loser brother: Oh sup. I could of just teleported you closer to the village, but I thought you could do some more running.

Santa: You're a fucking prick. Oh look its that kid that I sent through fucking time in that better christmas quest.

Santa: I don't know why my house is suddenly here even though you can still visit me in my rad viking base.

Santa: Anyways, I can't give you food (I can only send you back in time cause magic) so GTFO

Santa's loser brother: Since harold is a prick, lets go crash that detlas party.

*teleports to detlas*
*walks right past the attendee that stares at you barge in without an invatation*

Santa's loser brother: go beg for food for the 73737th time while I sit here and act pretty again.

Waiter: go fuck yourself for the 73737th time

*steals food*

Santa's loser brother: O shit noice m8. Lemme go make a speech and pretend to give it all back but take half.

*10000040474737262727282828 hour cutscene later*
*teleports to almuj*
*7372727282755489391 hour cutscene later*

Santa: Since you solved your hunger problem, I'm going to fucking summon snow just to make you kids freeze.

Santa's loser brother: Jokes on you harold. I stole your shoes and now ima give it to this kid.

Santa: This is why I don't let you make the quests. Next year we are gonna get eaten by evil me again. That quest was lit.

 

Thieving Rodent as mage:
Farmer: Shit. A rat took my ring and now my bitch gon kill me.

Farmer: Go kill some rats on my infested farm and it doesn't matter if you get rat guts on the crops

*19 kills later*

Farmer: This is just a washer a rat ate for some reason.

Farmer: Go fight god himself under my farm to get my ring.

*dies*
*dies*
*dies*
*dies*
*dies*
*dies*
*dies*
*dies*
*dies*
*switches to lvl 100 class*
*kills king rat*
*gives ring to lower lvl class*

Farmer: Thanks for giving me my DIAMOND RING. Here's 4 cents.

 

You just described Thieving Rodents, not Crop Failure.

 

Stop making so many farming quests then

 

...? The giant rat is easy...?

 

Its a challenge with mage

 

You ever tried fighting it with only the leather hat and oak weapon? Cause that's what most lv2s have when they fight it.

 

I make sure I have leather cap AND leather boots before I fight it, and even then, I never have a hard time with it ;)

#HumbleBrag