Bart (MC)

If you can use a semi-colon properly, I'm sure you're plenty smart to learn that

You've gotta weed out the infectious words like "chud" and "based" before they start to tarnish your reputation and presentation as a person.

Make a two day blinding stew every other day and force feed it to them.

THAT SOUNDS PAINFUL; NO THANK YOU

lowkey wearing a hoodie in that weather

this has happened a whopping three times already why is it a pattern

surprise! make that four! i'm the more autistic weirder sibling of {redacted}, who I have on good word you talked with yesterday

for legal reasons this is a joke

this is pre-covid even. when i got that back in the day i knew it because my nose was leaking so hard i couldn't even keep swallowing it lol

me having a terrible cough today: coincidence? I think not!

here you go. bone apple teeth!

I’ve found that, especially near churches, people have free bone drives and fresh new ones daily!

this joke would land a LOT better if i actually remembered the part we're in is jojolands. Ops

The hero is Barack Obama

I think TrapinchO would win, probably.

selvut goes the long way round to making the lore edits he's been wanting to make for years

Is peanut gallery considered offensive?
That’s my favourite slightly derogatory term

Depends on who you ask, it's associated with the cheapest seats of shows, which historically tended to be the only place where Black people could sit, but apparently the term was popularized further by a 1940s/50s children's show with no racial connotations

Wait what. Interesting, I never knew that, I thought it was just some random thing someone said once so now we still say it. Like A Bird in the Hand is worth two in the bush

So, assuming a constant number of statuses per page (i.e. unaffected by replies), every page has 20 statuses. Tantibus has 171 pages meaning 3420 statuses. Now, he does have quite a bit of posts from other people, and I'm not about to count all of them so we'll assume 2 pages worth (it is most defiantly more but shhhh...). So that means he has 3380 statuses.

You have 143 pages and like 19 statuses on the newest page so 2879 statuses. You need 501 statuses, which, assuming a rate of one post per day is... well... 501 days. A year and a little over four months.

returning to this in 2031 when they finally diagnose me with the most common one on the planet and make fun of me for it

Bartism

i can bounce back from sour moods anytime but a little bit of my soul fell into my mind at night and that doesn't grow back fast

i'm allowed to edgepost i'm only a little guy

I had such a dream towards the end of march, and a similar dream (about the way-way future results of my having gotten over them) towards the end of february. I completly get it