Comments on Profile Post by SpadenadeZ1

I know I'm probably going to regret making this post because I do stupid shit when I'm tired.

I can just imagine how I'm going to act tomorrow morning. 'Wtf was I thinking' I'll probably say.

Or someone will come to my profile and get worried because of how blind I am to people's reactions to things like this.

God damn I'm a fucking idiot. Can't even make a rant about how much I'm frustrated with myself without making me look insane.

I know that SOMEONE is just going to stumble upon this and then I'll feel guilty for making them worried.

I'm pathetic. No, pathetic isn't the correct word. Insufferable is the correct word.

Im just so FREAKING WORTHLESS, INSIGNIFICANT, a SELFISH, HYPERACTIVE, TALKATIVE, MORON; WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVES FOR A SECOND THAT ANYONE COULD GENUINELY LIKE HIM. A TRYHARD who FAILS at EVERY task. A PERSON WHO TRYS SO HARD THAT HE FAILS. ALL THE TIME.

Oh ha hahahahaha wow. You know you've hit rock bottom when you've made an angry rant towards yourself. Ha ha hahahahaha. hahahaha. yes, funny.

What's funnier is how I'm probably going to attempt to act like this never happened. In the morning, that is.

I'm just. So, so angry. At myself. :)

I know that I'm probably going to try and cover this up, with some 'I was tired' coverup from 'generic excuse lane'. Predictable.

Probably going to act all cheerful and happy too.

With that shortened text and spastic typos.

Hey. This is a message to future me. I want you to look at this and for once, for once listen. Stop believing that somehow you're 'special' or 'loved' because that is ridiculous. I am acting. I am putting up a play for everyone else, making them feel good. I'm a tool. I am NOT important. I am replaceable. I am not intelligent, I don't know why I keep perpetuating the mundane idea that I am, in some way.

I'm probably going to cry at this in the morning. Pathetic.

If I do end up crying at this, or being extremely upset later; then that means I am a weak; powerless being.

You know what's going to make this even better? The fact that people are probably going to call me an attention-seeker, or a loser, or a waste of genetic material, and of course; they would be correct.

Oh wow, this is making me so, so, happy. Joyful in fact. Acknowledging my own weaknesses, compassion, empathy, sympathy, pity, sadness.WEAKNESSES.

I think that this angry rant has gone on long enough. I hope you enjoyed it! <3

.

.