In a world where your social media history posts are constantly changing, where you have to scroll down for hours just to see last week's posts, you have this site, where your thread history has been the same since like 10th or 11th grade. I called it a time portal but in all honesty now that I think of it as more of an archive
An archive that shows me the time where I was a newbie when it comes to being and presenting yourself online in front of random strangers in a community
Looking at my old posts makes me realise just how much I changed since I was an active member, and in some ways, I feel like I would've been a much better community member of I were to join as who I am today
I was always so jealous of those members who made some really big waves in the community with their big ass projects and amazing posts, i always wanted to be one of those highly respected individuals who worked so hard to develop this community and server but I never knew what to do
I always wanted to do something to impact the community but never had any idea what, until I saw there was a small group of cgi artists here (yes I'm gonna call them cgi artists and not renderers cause rendering as a term is too broad for this and they all did cgi shit)
Maybe making renders for people wasn't the best way to contribute to the community, and maybe making them for free and never changing the price from that was a bit of a waste, but the effects of this decisions were still clear, I felt like i belonged, I was with the big boys before even realising, everyone noticed me and respected me
slowly but surely I went from a shitposter that is being laughed at for his terrible and annoying posts to a respected member who does a lot for the community, but even that didn't feel like enough, it still felt like I wasn't leaving a true mark
So then i started posting cgi art in the your work section, bit after the thrill that I got from those 20-35 likes, it didn't feel much different, if anything having people tell you that in the comments meant a lot more
My point here is that I'm not sure if these cgi renders were enough to make me feel accomplished in this community. I know the end goal of how productive you are is a very subjective thing but to me it felt like a gray area.
Maybe making renders the majority of what I was known for wasn't the best choice if "brand" for myself, maybe I should've interacted more with community members on a personal level, which I did end up doing, but it took me quite a while to do, and at the time I did, I was already on the verge of leaving
Now that I think about it, maybe one big achievement I actually had when it comes to the community and impacting it was how people actually started using my wynn renders for background pics and wallpapers, knowing the fact that many of those pics were probably saved by a lot of people warms my heart
It got to the point that over a year after I stopped posting cgi renders here, someone hosted a contest of thesead themed art and some random user posted my image saying how "this art is really good but idk who made it" which means that my art might still be shared around and used as backgrounds, long after I am gone, which makes me think I should've put signatures in all of them, but idc cause my threads still exist
And while I'm at the topic of retrospect, I might as well just say how I shouldn't have put some people here on such a high pedestal, its as if your mod rank or your posts and likes numbers mean something while chatting.
Guess I was a bit too intimidated by more veteran users
This struck a chord with me, to be honest. I'm probably one of the last active members from the 2016 era of the forums, and I often go through my profile and look back at the posts I made. And one of the things that makes me sad is when I realize that so, so many people have left, and that I never even noticed and I was never able to say goodbye.
And I realize, that's going to happen to me, and I might not even realize when it happens. And I know, I'm probably not going to be remembered.
You made me a render more than four years ago. This is it: http://i.imgur.com/qvN7XBr.jpg
I just want to say I remember, and thanks. I don't know if we'll ever get to meet again, so I just wanted to say that.
I still remember the time when you had your thread posted that you would create free renders for people in the forums, and I thought that was really cool of you since it showcases your ability as a CGI artist.
The renders you made for me is much appreciated (though I probably went too far to ask you for three renders hahaha).
As for being a community member, I feel the same way that joining the thread as the current 'me' would have been a much better person compared to how I was a few years back.
Anyways, I still remember you, and I am glad that you are part of this big community!
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