If you didn’t get that quote, I’m about to resume my leave of the forums. I’ll be leaving at the end of today, and I won’t be back for another 25 days or so. There’s a slight chance my leave will be permanent. I will explain why down below.
The reason why I’ve been staying on the forums was because I was doing a bit of investigation. Ever since @Gartato ‘s thread came out in the shoutbox, it honestly inspired me a bit to look deeper in the shoutbox. I love this community, but gar was right. We’re killing this place.
I had to dig really deep in, starting with the sb bans of the firsts, like dan and ahri. And then I had to rise back up to the corruption of today. It wasn’t easy. Eventually, I finished my research. And when I discovered how bad it was, I kinda wanted to leave the forums forever.
Hopefully though, I won’t. I’ve made so many friends on this place, and I wouldn’t want to leave them. The least I can guarantee is that I’ll come back after my temporary leave, post my results, and then leave for good.
Unlike last time, I’ll be active on skype. If you need me but don’t have it, you can look at the info tab of my page. You might be able to find me on mc, but that’s not a guarantee because of school.
Yo, unpopular but honest opinion here:
I respect your decision to leave and can even really recommend taking a nice long break.
This community can be wonderful, absolutely great,
but too often is that just a small part.
Especially now that a lot of the people that I am of opinion made this place feel so great have left.
But this community can at other times feel very obnoxious and toxic - sometimes even dangerous for people stuck in a loop of sorts..
And when you realize that there's nothing you can change about that, even though you really want to, and you can't let go of that feeling.. that gets really frustrating.
You can't just ignore things you feel are wrong, because they affect you too.
I've been away for the past year or so, as you might recall,
and leaving when I did was the best decision I've made.
(Though the way in which I did was not)
I'd not been doing well, and in the year I've been gone, I've been seeing a psychologist. I'm doing much better now.
And I would probably not have been able to work through these things if I was still on Wynn - because things really got out of hand for me last year.
I was dealing with my own problems.
And a lot of friends I made here were sharing theirs too.
In addition to that, I felt like Wynn's community wasn't doing well as a whole either.
I only recently came back to this place to check up on some old friends. A few specifically.
But I kinda just got stuck here again after talking to some older people in this community and new ones both.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm really enjoying myself again.
I feel like I can now be a lot less involved as I was.
And I'm very excited to play Gavel with my old and new friends here, soon!
But that year away. It really changed my perspective on this community, and my place in it.
So I can't recommend taking a break enough, Rice!
Seriously.
This is what I want to do... This is how I feel right now...I feel unsafe now after yesterday. Because people stuck up for harsh words used what felt like against me... people look at some of the older members as the voice of truth, or the voice of reason, but all it really is is bull crap.
I don't feel safe anymore just because I go on here, to express my feelings, and all that, and then people call me annoying, or delusional for it. Which is the thing I came on here to HIDE from... I wanted a place to HIDE from all that...
But, whatever. Everyone will just see me as stale, and annoying soon enough... and when that time comes... I'll just leave...
Ok, don't think I'm leaving because of the corruption. I kinda don't wanna leave. I'm only leaving because I said I would leave, and I would keep my promise.
I just want to leave because I feel like I'm one of the roots of corruption to this community at this point, everyone says I start fights all the time... well... this is what I deserve now I guess.
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