Bri'ish Wynncraft: Humble Beginnings (Part 1/3)

My story starts when I was looking for a date online. Things weren’t going smoothly and I kept getting rejected. Guess that’s what happens when you play Minecraft all day, haha. But everything changed when I met her… When I met the woman of my dreams. She was funny, she was beautiful, and she was stunning. She must’ve had a lot of plastic surgery though, because I swear she looked different on every photo. But anyways, I agreed to meet her somewhere in town. So I went there, and I waited. Suddenly, I felt someone coming behind me and I was knocked out.

When I woke up I discovered that I was in a moving car, there were 2 other gentlemen in the front, clearly in distress. They must have been my date’s own personal drivers, perhaps the commotion was because they were running late. I also noticed that I was tied up for some reason. Damn, kinky.

Spoiler: me rn

Suddenly one of the agitated drivers told the other behind the wheel “C’mon, go faster, they’re almost catching up!” To which the other replied “You think I’m stupid? I know the cops are hunting us down. I’m going as fast as I can!”.

Holy cow. It was at this point that I started to understand the situation.

Somehow, in a way or another, they were playing Wynncraft in real life. I couldn’t believe my eyes, much less my ears.

These fellas were on hunted mode. Clearly, they didn’t want to get killed and lose all their items, but everything in this gamemode is fair.

So I, like the pro that I am, freed myself from my seat and attacked the guy driving. This was the smartest choice because I caused the car to crash into the wall, eliminating both dudes.

Spoiler: Double Kill

For some reason the items didn’t drop on the ground upon death like normal and their corpses just kinda stayed there. Anyways, I quickly scavenged their remains for items and found something called a “gun”.

Spoiler: me and my cool new gun

I had heard a bit about this weapon before, someone had tried to explain it to me by saying that it was similar to a bow. When this memory popped into my head I was ecstatic. I’m an archer player on Wynncraft, so this was almost perfect.

I could hear the growing sound of sirens, the cops were coming to inspect the car wreck. Oh, silly little noobs, I’m the best hunted player that I know of.

I quickly opened fire against the police officers, but they were ganging up on me, pretty sure that’s against the rules. I was forced to flee, but not before I could drag one of the cops on the ground away.

“SOMEONE STOP HIM, THAT BASTARD TOOK JERRY!” said the silly officer.

Once I was in a dark alleyway I planned to loot the guy for gear, but I was interrupted by someone lurking in the shadows.

“Uh, is someone there? Show yourself!”

He was too far away into the darkness, I couldn’t see him and neither could he see me.

So I stored the officer’s body in a dumpster (the most similar thing to a minecraft chest) and I went to investigate.

Spoiler: my man jerry in da dumpstah

There I found a man in ragged clothes, he was clearly not okay in the head.

Spoiler: the fella

“Oh, it’s just some kid… I thought you were someone else. Say, wanna help an old man?”

Well I mean, no. I didn’t want to help an old man. But this was very clearly a quest I had to do if I wanted 100% completion. So I said yes.

“Great, all I need you to do is take this money and go ask the man in a blue hoodie for a package. Tell him I sent you.”

I followed the directions the old man gave me and I went after the hoodie guy, but when I saw him something immediately struck out. The blue hoodie, the grey beard… You might think this is not enough to identify someone, but I immediately knew who it was… It was Theorick!

Spoiler: Theorick in casual clothing

This discovery chilled me to the bones. What could he possibly be doing here? But I had to keep my composure, I had to play it cool. So I struck up a conversation:

“Hey, some old dude sent me here for a package.”

“Uh? Oh alright, I think I know who you’re talking about.”, he replied.

Theorick took out the mysterious package, but just before he handed it to me he said “Oh, and tell that guy that I appreciate him making business with me, my son has been very ill and this helps pay the bills.”

What… Theorick had a son? Perhaps… or maybe it was all a big LIE! He said that his son was ill, didn’t he?? And what kind of illness exists in Wynncraft? THAT’S RIGHT! THE CORRUPTION. Last time Theorick pulled a stunt like this the entirety of Nesaak was frozen, I had to put a stop to this, NOW!

I had an idea, so I said “Hey, the old man also told me to give your son a surprise gift.”

He initially found it weird, but after some bargaining and explaining the guy let me into his house, to see his son (I am very persuasive).

Spoiler: the evil corrupted

There he was, the monster, the aberration, barely holding onto life because of the corruption. And I had a surprise for him, alright. A surprise he would never forget. A gift he would forever cherish.

So I pulled out my trusty gun, but you see, my hands were slippery from all the sweat so it kinda just slipped and fell onto the power cord extension, turning it off (this included the life support the kid was hooked onto).

Spoiler: the thingy (the gun hit the red button)

Theorick looked at me dumbfounded.

I mean, I had singlehandedly stopped the spread of the corruption, Theorick wasn’t really needed anymore. So I shot him.

Anywayzz, I went back to the old man and delivered him the package.

“Thanks kid, you’re a real life saver, now I can enjoy my shrooms in peace”

Wait wait, did he just say… SHROOMS? As in mushrooms?? How could it be… how had I not come to the realization sooner… the old man was actually YAHYA!!

My mind was blown, but I unfortunately couldn’t spend more time with Yahya, I knew that the hunted players (police) were after me. So I FINALLY took the corpse I had stored in the dumpster and looted it. I was now disguised as a police officer.

Before I could go exploring the rest of this magic world I decided to say goodbye to Yahya.

He didn’t take it very well. He started screaming into some sort of walkie-talkie that “They have found us!”, “Run to the hidden shelter!”. I remember reading that Yahya went mad after interacting with some space rocks or whatever, so this was probably that.

Oh well, I gathered myself and went into the great unknown. I planned on doing some quests (cool stuff ), but first I would have needed some gear. And what better place to get gear than an anime convention (cringe stuff ).

Spoiler: you can smell the grease

I located the nearest ongoing convention and I went there (using my cop disguise of course). What I found there shocked me to the core. No human should ever have to witness what I did.

Spoiler: my findings

Furries. Furries everywhere. Are you kidding me??? How could a normal, functioning human being ever possibly identify as a non-rational animal, HUH? Years of evolution for THIS? I couldn’t bear witness to this any longer, I had to do something (like any NORMAL human being like me would).

I immediately told my ""fellow"" police colleagues (I deceived them!!) that I had to make an announcement. And that I did.

I picked up a microphone connected to all the speakers in the convention.

“LISTEN UP EVERYONE! It has come to our attention that many of this convention’s participants have parents who are PROUD and CONTENT with their children’s life decisions. That’s right. They want to tell you STRAIGHT to your FACE that they LOVE and CARE about you, but for that you will have to go to the building “Brian’s Butchering and Castrating”. So make sure that you SHOW UP there for PARENTAL support!!”

Hell yeah, all the fatherless furries went to BBC and got CASTRATED. No offspring will ever come out of their REPRODUCTIVE organs (a little trolling has been done to their balls).

I was paid handsomely by Brian who was running low on meatballs, and I even stole a bow from the convention while people weren’t looking. Too bad that I didn’t get to use it because the gun had a higher attack stat.

Since I was basically rich from all my HARD, EXHAUSTING work (more money than Jeff Bezos) I decided to simply try and buy gear on another place. But first, I had another idea.

Do you know how when you try to apply Skill Points in Wynncraft the icon that appears is a book? That’s right, it’s the books that are giving you the skill points. If I went to a library and tried absorbing the books I would become god-like in power. So that was my next stop.

However… Something weird happened while I was travelling there. All of a sudden, the earth shook and I saw something that looked like a portal form right before me.

Spoiler: portal

An image could be seen from inside. Was that… Queen Elizabeth II???? She was talking to her men.

“I have been informed that someone has been trying to disrupt my plans. Go and find him, else you shall have your tea rights revoked.”

I stared in disbelief. Right before she turned her attention to me the portal ended up closing on itself. Who was she talking about... Could it have been… me?

I had so many thoughts, so many theories. Yet, before I could come to any plausible conclusion an imposing figure made its presence know.

Spoiler: It

It stared from the shadows, almost as to pounce on its prey.

To be continued…

Spoiler: Preview of the next part - "higher effort" stock images

Part 2: https://forums.wynncraft.com/threads/briish-wynncraft-midway-madness-part-2-3.301397/
Part 3: https://forums.wynncraft.com/thread...ishing-finality-part-3-3-grand-finale.301425/

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Ideally all the 3 parts would come out with a 1 day interval, as to have fresh posts each day.
They will probably snuff out each other's popularity this way, but that's alright. The plan rn is to pump out as much stories I can, so that someday when someone stumbles into the "wynncraft_irl" tag they will bleed from their eyes.
I'd also like to thank the people who commented on my other posts asking for feedback, you guys are cool

 

amazing. just brilliant