World More Ocean Content

I feel like the ocean needs a main story, because as of now, all of its content consists of a few islands and some unrelated quests.

Description
The spirits of the Ocean are growing agitated and are making the waves extremely turbulent, and the player must team up with the mages on Mage Island to help calm them again. The story will consist of multiple quests (not sure what level they should be tho).

Storyline

Spoiler: Quest 1

(if there's a # before any text, it's a sidenote and is not included in the quest):

>> Talk to Mage1 on Mage Island.

Mage1: Hello [playername], my name is Mage1. I have heard stories of your deeds from all around the world, and I would like to ask for your help.
Mage1: Boats sailing towards the Jofash Docks have sent word of a storm forming near Dead Island.
Mage1: The reports have grown in number and say that the storm has become unnaturally large. We have also been asked to investigate this strange weather.
Mage1: Talk to Mage2 if you're ready to go.

>> Talk to Mage2.

Mage2: Well, [playername], looks like you're ready to go!
Mage2: I'll teleport us over to the storm now...
You find yourself on a small island near the storm with some of the mages. It looks unlike anything you've ever seen before.
Mage2: The reports weren't exaggerating. This thing is huge! And are those sharks in the storm?
Mage1: It seems like the sea creatures are causing this. I wonder why...
Mage2: First, let's make a plan to stop the storm.
Mage1: I think I know what to do.
#A cutscene begins (like the one in The Envoy 1 where Maxie talks about the mechs).
Mage1: Do you see the platforms of ice inside the storm?
Mage1: You'll have to jump on them and fend off the monsters that try to knock you off. We'll help when we can, like by teleporting you back if you fall and allowing you to jump higher and move faster.
Mage1: You'll have to hold each platform as we slow down the next one enough for you to jump on it. The storm may get stronger, so you might have to stay on each platform longer than the one before.
Mage1: When you reach the top, put this stone into a hole in the last platform. Afterwards, you'll need to defend it while it dispels the storm.
Mage1: Once we see that you've done your job, we'll teleport you back here. Just talk to me again when you're ready.

Mage1: Get ready!
#The player will be teleported onto the first platform. There will be five platforms, each with a different task to complete (along with waiting) to be able to move on to the next platform. A timer will appear indicating how long you have to wait before you can move on.
#Platform 1: All you have to do is survive until the next platform is slowed.
#Platform 2: The player will have to kill 10 mobs to proceed.
#Platform 3: The player will have to complete a short parkour section.
#Platform 4: The player will need to battle a miniboss.
#Platform 5: This is the platform that the player puts the stone into. After they place it in, the player will need to stay alive for 40 seconds. When this is done, the dialogue below is triggered, and the player is teleported to Mage Island.
Mage1: Great job, [playername]! Let's head back to Mage Island and report what we've seen.
#The player is teleported back to Mage Island.

Mage2: This worries me. What will we do if the creatures decide to attack again? I don't think we'll be able to fend them off another time.
Mage2: Thank you for your help, [playername].
Mage2: Wait, what's that piece of paper on the floor?
Mage2's eyes widen as he reads the text on the paper.
Mage2: This is very, very bad. We must act as quickly as possible.
Mage2: However, I feel that you need more training before we embark on the next stage of this quest.
Mage2: Come back when you reach level __. Also, take this as a reward for helping us.

#I have no idea what the rewards should be, probably just some emeralds and XP.
#please add suggestions for the names i cant think of any thanks

Quest 2: Once the mages get back to Mage Island, they discover a wet note that demands a weekly tribute be sent to the creatures lest they wreak havoc across the Ocean. The player is then sent to retrieve the tribute.

Quest 3: When the player has the tribute, the mages reveal their plan to infiltrate the creatures' lair and kill their leader. In this quest, the player is sent to the coordinates of their base and is led inside by the creatures to deliver the items to the chief. The player ends up battling the leader and pushing it deeper and deeper into its lair. However, the cave collapses during the fight, blocking off the last section of the base. Afterwards, a mage from Mage Island enters and talks to you, finishing the quest and unlocking the raid.

(this is my first suggestion, I hope I did well)

If you have any feedback, feel free to post it here :)

EDIT: i shall edit the thread instead of creating new ones for the quests and the raid

 

I would've maybe combined all the quests and raids into one thread, because this thread doesn't really have a use if you're going to make more threads, making this one a TL;DR basically.
But for the actual suggestion, it seems pretty cool! I'd love to see the details of the quest and raid.

 

oh yes that makes sense
uh
my bad
i might actually just edit the message here then

 

Yeah, thats a good idea, maybe replace the general description of each quest with the actual quest when you write them?

 

yeah i'll do that instead

 

bump10char

 

Looks pretty cool! I can agreed that with the new gavel and Wynn updates the ocean feels like it’s just a bit behind. Good suggestion :D

 

bump bump bump
first quest might be out soon, be prepared to give some feedback

edit: sure hope it looks good
edit 2: maybe tomorrow, i have so much stuff to do today

 

ok the next quest is out pls feedback thanks
i hope it's good
bump

 

Ok, here's my feedback.

1. It would be nice if you could put each quest in a spoiler to prevent a wall of text. Not necessary, but nice.

2. The first chunk of dialogue is 3 lines long. The npc doesn't feel like a character to me, just a thing telling you what to do. There's no "hi, my name is mage1 and who are you" its just "oh there's storms were gonna make you help without asking first". (Semi) Major NPCs should always have a personality, imo.

I'm not gonna rate the minigame thing, because I don't know anything about stuff like that so yeah

3. Same as #2 for the end dialouge. It's slightly better, but even them going "oh no this is bad" doesn't feel actually urgent, because they still don't feel like people to me, just text.

This is an interesting idea, I look forward to reading the second one!

 

ok yes thank you sorry for late reply will edit
bump
i also feel like the quest isn't long enough

 

That's probably because the dialogue is so minimal, if you changed it so the characters seem like characters and not just instructions on what do to it would probably be longer.

 

oof totally forgot about this
hi again
I'll try that
and maybe start on the next quest
bump