Quest Hunger Of The Gerts Review

For some reason I have been itching to make quest reviews and I honestly don't know why, but I was recently playing through Hunger of the Gerts and I realised it's a really bad questline, so I figured I'd review it. Anyway heres my review of Hunger of the Gerts.

Spoiler: Disclaimer

This is not meant to throw the questmaker(s) under the bus, this has no intent to be rude in any way.

Hunger of the Gerts is a 2 part quest for levels 77 and 78, it takes place at Lake Gylia and revolves around the Gerts; which are pretty much just hungry orange Orcs.

To start this quest we venture into the Gylia Watch to talk to a guy who exposites and shit and exalts the Gerten war, which was so important and crucial to Gavel history that it was never mentioned before and is never mentioned again.

He also tells us that farmers are complaining about Gerts stealing thier livestock, but he's too busy drinking so he sends us to do his job for him. He sends us to a farmer named Jitak who justifiably bitches about how horribly the Gylia Watch is doing their job, and says the Gerts are finding some way to sneak out of thier camps so they can steal food.

Jitak sends us to a camp where we run through a cave to find a secret Gert meeting, it's a good thing Jitak knew the meeting was taking place here and not one of the other ten-thousand camps. From said Gert meeting we learned the stupid Gerts did and un-stupid and learned to dig to get under the Gylia Watch.

Using this knowledge we return to Jitak and tell him all of this only to be promptly sent back to the camp to grind. That grinding happens to be used to make a quest helmet, which is an automatic -100000 points.

With this quest helmet we can now enter another camp despite not needing it to enter the first camp so there should be no reason to need it here but whatever. Upon entering this camp a Gert guard tells us to get a password to enter the tunnel they are digging. So after wasting some time we get said password and can now enter the tunnel, but apparently a Gert dog smelled our human-ness so we get thrown in jail. Not killed. Jail.

Now we are in jail, but wait now we aren't bacause we solved an easy stupid puzzle. In our escape we run by a guy, who was also jailed instead of killed, who tells us about his friend and their escape plan. But he hasn't heard from his friend, that was being sniffed by a hungry Gert for a while, in some time; leading everyone over 5 to realise he's dead. After going and confirming that the friend guy is dead and grabbing the key he stole from said sniffing Gert we tell Prisoner Man that the friend guy is dead. Prisoner Man pretends to be shocked about this and sais he'll stay in a prison cell with man-eating Gert's untill he's "ready to go".

To escape prison we fight obligatory shitty boss fight at the end of a Gavel quest, which takes place in a boss arena with fire just to piss you off and steal the last hit.

After killing the boss you tell Gylia guy about the tunnels and he freaks out and says he'll deal with it after he's done drinking.

So, that's the first quest. And it's generic bad Gavel quest. But the worst part? This is part one. Why the fuck is this a 2 part quest? This quest's story is finished. And Part 2 is honestly so disconnected from Part 1 that Part 1 should just be it's own fucking quest, or just not even exist. Part 1 is about Gerts stealing livestock because they're hungry and the Gylia watch needing to fix it. Part 2 is about a big bad butcher killing Gerts, or giving Gerts food, or something. Part 2 honestly doesn't even have a plot.

It starts with you talking the Gert Chief, who says shit's bad, cuz baby Gert's are starving, then learns we are educated bacause apparently we spoke. So he tells us to look at a piece of paper with a pig on it and see if it's food, but it actually just leads to a battery farm. And the Gerts don't like that the Villagers are treating the animals badly so he tells us to go stop the battery farm and maybe get him some food along the way.

So we head to the battery farm which is under Jitak's house, and since he doesn't want us in his house he have to go behind it and go through a Gerten tunnel that he's coviniently ignoring. After this we enter his basement and yada-yada our way into the battery farm where we meet Big Butch.

Big Butch is a mean butcher guy who talks abiut how inhumane his butcher shop is. Which is supposed to be a reflection of real life Butcher shops. So we went from feeding hungry Gerts, to a rescue mission for animals from a battery farm, to a full-on PSA brought to you by Peta HQ in about 3 minutes. What?

While wandering through the battery farm we stumble by an imprissoned Gert, who wants to eat us originally but then decides he wants us to help him escape so he doesn't die. So we do some dumb shit to let him out and we forget about this stage of the quest forever.

Next up, Big Butch tells us this farm feeds over half of Gavel, remember this for later.

Now he introduces us to his friends. Since his job makes him lonely, and I guess he's an extrovert, he made Gert friends to keep him company, which he defends by saying they're just pests and we shouldn't feel bad for them. So feeding Gerts, to rescuing animals, to Peta PSA, to Gert genocide? Pick a fucking lane.

Now we enter the obligatory shitty boss fight at the end of a Gavel quest and go kill Big Butch, consequentially causing an unnoticed famine by cutting Gavel's food supply in half. But we'll get back to this later.

Anyway we get a crate of food, which must be really big to feed the whole camp, and bring it back to the Chief and the quest is over. Overall it's a standard bad Gavel quest but then you realise it's so much dumber than it should be.

First off, Part 1 and Part 2 have nothing to do with eachother, and 2nd we just caused a fucking famine that gets totally ignored. What the fuck? This could have been made a decent questline if the current Part 1 was removed, the current Part 2 was made the new Part 1 and the new Part 2 would be trying to help fix the province wide famine you just caused. Or just make the current Part 1 the only quest and not force a questline.

Or we can just burn this shit in hell.

So that's the Hunger of the Gerts. A bad quest made worse by incoherent story telling and being made into a disconnected/unfinished 2 parter.
3/10 what a shitshow.

 

Thanks Salted, very cool.

 

As with so many Gavel quests, it could have been great, but the it kind of went off-track. I like the idea of the storyline, if they would just connect them a bit more and make it a bit more coherent.