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Quest Storyline: The Rival (5-quest Series) {valir Has 178 Friends!}

Discussion in 'General Suggestions' started by D Strider, Jul 21, 2016.

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Should I continue through with this?

  1. HELL YES

    72.6%
  2. Sure

    22.6%
  3. First, you should... (Suggest)

    1.6%
  4. Nah... (Why?)

    0.5%
  5. HELL TO THE NO

    2.6%
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  1. D Strider

    D Strider Prince of Heart || God of Wubs || \^3^/

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    />3>/ Bump \<3<\
     
  2. D Strider

    D Strider Prince of Heart || God of Wubs || \^3^/

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  3. CheesePrince13

    CheesePrince13 Eternally Inactive HERO

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    This was actually a lot cooler than I expected to be. Can I actually give more than +1 support
     
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  4. D Strider

    D Strider Prince of Heart || God of Wubs || \^3^/

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    Yes, just make multiple accounts and repeatedly vote "HELL YES"
    jk plz dont
     
  5. Bubbles

    Bubbles Yep, that one HERO

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    YOUU go apply for GM right now!
    I seriously love the quests.
    +6 from me (+1 on each quest and +1 on the storyline as a whole)
     
  6. andrew4043

    andrew4043 whip emerald fan club

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    love the story.
    keep up the good work
     
  7. D Strider

    D Strider Prince of Heart || God of Wubs || \^3^/

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  8. PadfootNBlack

    PadfootNBlack Memerific mage and Retired ??? Gunter

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    Really great! I love it!
    The only thing is that killing the beast gives you almost 2 times the LE, versus saving him. I would make them a bit more even, instead of 5:3 maybe 5:4?
    I know it is probably harder to have to kill the beast, but saving him is much more honorable, and besides, you already won a fight with him earlier.
    But that's just a small detail. Overall, I think it's amazing!
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2016
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  9. Coolfood

    Coolfood The Coolest Food

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    It would have been cool to have the starting ring be the same item you have all through the questline, just after each quest it gets upgraded as you accumulate memories and adventures.

    Overall pretty cool questline!
     
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  10. Mr_Philly

    Mr_Philly hi there HERO

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    Typo.
     
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  11. D Strider

    D Strider Prince of Heart || God of Wubs || \^3^/

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    Thx
     
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  12. D Strider

    D Strider Prince of Heart || God of Wubs || \^3^/

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  13. D Strider

    D Strider Prince of Heart || God of Wubs || \^3^/

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  14. D Strider

    D Strider Prince of Heart || God of Wubs || \^3^/

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  15. xKindredKinesis

    xKindredKinesis .[_]. VIP

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    Honestly, I think the route where you have to free Valir from his misery is really touching, and the fact that the other route is just "oh hey you saved him wew" kinda ruins the effect.

    Maybe you should have to face him, no matter the cost, and if you use the Light Stone, you might be able to save Valir.
     
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  16. GandalfTheMLGrey

    GandalfTheMLGrey Travelled Adventurer

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    I like this idea. The notion of an NPC you can connect with on a deeper level really increases your immersion into the whole experience.

    One thing I would like to mention, though, is that Valir drops the whole of his sister's subplot at the end of the quest if you save him.

    It'd be nice if, in the good ending, Valir says something about going back home to help his sister. In the bad ending, it'd be nice if there was a part where his sister comes to meet you, and you give her the rival's ring, or something you get off the boss, as a sign of your condolences.

    Truth be told, I kinda like Valir. I imagine him being the Wynncraft mascot; an adventurer who is out to explore and grow stronger, and isn't out to save the world.

    Thank you for reading.
     
  17. D Strider

    D Strider Prince of Heart || God of Wubs || \^3^/

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    At first, I was just trying to finish the quests. Now I'm taking a look back, and I plan on revising a bit. I'm currently on mobile, so it won't be immediate, but keep an eye out!
    ________________________________
     
  18. D Strider

    D Strider Prince of Heart || God of Wubs || \^3^/

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    Just finished a chuck of editing!
    > I made some item/lore changes, and bumped the rings up to Legendary
    > I also fixed a few typos here and there
    > Added a mark for the likes this thread got
    > Last but definitely not least, I rewrote the majority of Soul Corruption (5th Quest)
    Go check it out!
    Fuckin hell, I feel like I wrote fanfic for that good ending.
    "She embraced him. He was confused and afraid, but quickly cheered up."
    ??????
     
  19. GandalfTheMLGrey

    GandalfTheMLGrey Travelled Adventurer

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    I love the addition of his sister. It really wraps up the whole thing.

    Maybe someday, when Fruma gets made, we'll see Valir and Serist again (I'm assuming Valir and Serist are human; if they are not, please forgive me).
     
  20. D Strider

    D Strider Prince of Heart || God of Wubs || \^3^/

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    Don't worry, they are human. Says so in the good ending.
     
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