SPOILER Wynncraft Unhealthy Food Conspiracy

You may have heard recently of the shocking discovery that Wynncraft update 1.20, also known as "Gavel Reborn", is, in fact, the Illuminati. (https://forums.wynncraft.com/threads/gavel-reborn-is-the-illuminati.277210/)
However, I believe Gavel Reborn is not the only conspiracy that Salted and his bovine overlords are taking part in.
ok lets be clear here none of this is serious in any way. if you actually do anything i recommend here i maintain no liability for your actions

I would like to present carefully picked evidence here undeniably proving that Wynncraft is sneakily supporting unhealthy foods and diets to cripple its player base into not being able to go outside anymore. Soon, we will only be physically capable of playing Wynncraft if we do not defend ourselves.




Firstly, we can start with a quest, Recipe for Disaster. Now, while the ingredients themselves are all made up (except talking mushrooms, but that's a whole other wild conspiracy theory scientific topic), we can learn something from the names of the chefs. As we all know, NPC names in Wynncraft are carefully selected by the entire content team to reflect the naming style of the game, and possibly a person they were named after or a reference to their purpose. They would never allow a name to go through that does not adequately suit these requirements, and thus we can be assured that any NPC name can be used for conspiracy theorizing logical deductions about their purpose beyond the fourth wall.

Spoiler: clear proof of names being carefully selected

why is it so hard to find an image of this guy

The three chefs in Recipe for Disaster are Frank, Kale, and Brie.
Frank is not a food, Frank is a name in real life (or is it?). While the character is clearly an attack on all people named "Frank" by calling them lazy (as Frank is described by both himself and Kale), that is a whole different issue.
The real trick the admins have pulled on us is the naming of Kale and Brie. In real life, kale is a healthy vegetable, while brie is a type of cheese (from France, in case you were wondering). Obviously, any responsible person would have Kale make a very healthy and good tasting meal to encourage little kids to eat vegetables, and have Brie make an unhealthy and not as good tasting meal to teach kids that French cheese is the devil. However, Kale is shown to be very annoying and makes a terrible meal, clearly encouraging all the small children to never eat vegetables so they can avoid being like Kale. Obviously, once they stop eating vegetables, they will lose vital nutrients and will no longer be able to do physical activities, and will instead focus on Wynncraft. A truly diabolical setup.




We must also look into crafting ingredients to understand the true malevolence of the content team in sabotaging our diets. As explained above, anything to make us be less healthy and stay inside more is good in their demonic eyes.

Many cooking ingredients seem normal, such as potatoes, uncommon potatoes, rare potatoes, rarer potatoes, even rarer potatoes, extremely rare potatoes, rarest potatoes, one-of-a-kind potatoes, and nonexistent potatoes. However, checking for more ingredients shows us horrifying things such as this:

There are two things to take away from this. The first is that I hate dark mode users. The second is that the admins want us to eat actual fire so we will be hospitalized and play more Wynncraft while we recover.
Now, you might wonder, surely, no one will actually want to eat fire because of this, right? If you believe this, you have successfully fallen into Salted's trap. You see, the admins want most of us to believe that no one will do this, so they hide their tricks with things that only approximately 23.784% of the player base will actually fall for and eat. Do not be fooled, while you deny this truth with your pathetic "rational mindset", our Wynncraftian brethren are falling in huge numbers due to having eaten fireballs.




BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
Gatherable cooking ingredients ("materials" as they are called by people who don't know what the words ingredients and materials mean profession grinders) in video games should always be safe for consumption in real life. This way, we will not encourage all the poor impressionable children to eat rocks and other such inedible objects. And, at first, they do seem safe. We have wheat grains, trout meat, etc., which are all actual foods, at least.
But then the admins reveal their devilish intent later on. Cleverly hidden behind mind-numbing grinding so as to reduce the mental faculties of those who encounter them, decay roots, molten fish, and any dernic materials are absolutely not safe for consumption. Consider all the poor children who have run over to volcanoes, eaten fish from inside them, and had to stay home recovering for weeks just to increase Wynn's player count.




Now, you might be asking yourself, now that you have been shown the true villainous intent of the CT, what can you, a lowly player, even do about it? The answer, of course, is simple. Go to Detlas on WC1, toggle playerghosts on, and spam chat with warnings about not eating decaying plants, fire, and French cheese in real life. If you find any other devious introductions of unhealthy foods in this game, feel free to mention those as well. I cannot stress this enough, do not buy shouts to do this, we cannot support these demons who would poison us with literal fire to get us to play their game more.
Everyone must hear this divine message, for if they do not, they are surely going to slip up and start eating a ton of French cheese one day. We cannot allow that to happen.




Thank you all for coming to my rant Ted Talk.

Spoiler: the end

if i dont have any new posts in a day, you must assume the worst, but do not fear. you can still continue the fight without me, they can't silence us all.

Spoiler: the real end

Ť̴̼h̴͔̽ḛ̴͛r̷͌͜e̴̳͠ ̴̮́i̴̫̅s̸̨̃ ̶͔͋ň̸̫o̶̤̐ ̷̰̃e̶͇̕ş̷̔c̶͈̎ḁ̵͋p̶̰̃e̷̝̔

 

:(

 

The true conspiracy theory here.

Thank you for damaging enlightening me with this knowledge.

 

What exactly does dren stand for?

 

anagram of dern

 

Or is it...

 

Wait a minute...
In the praite inn under the Katoa Ranch, there is a head sized burger in EVERY. ROOM.
clearly this proves the theory even more!

 

Eating burgers the size of heads... Despicable. Those damned Admins intend to coerce the poor youths into eating burgers the size of a human head. They must hope they are fattened by this, and will not physically be able to move from their desks, so as to be trapped into playing Wynncraft. Absolutely disgusting. Perhaps the Admins have procured a business deal with McDonalds.

 

or anagram of Nerd

 

Try eating this

 

Frank ->

 

ok but frankfurter fits the narrative more dummy

 

just what BIG FRANK wants you to think. It's all connecting together...

 

Ah, ok. I was thinking nerd but realised that that's probably not it.

Wait, doesn't that mean that dern is an anagram for nerd?

 

the dernic nerd, he os obsessed with dern

 

yes.

 

Wait a second...

Is Mac N Cheese unhealthy?

 

There are also a few crafting materials that are human flesh, like muscle.