Art || Where I Stand

I guess I'm back for the time being. Thought I'd do a quick class doodle o/ there's also I little rant I let out to a friend //it's super edgy but she thought I should include it//

Spoiler: My Rant That Inspired This

Where I stand.

I stand on the edge of emotional breakdowns and never ending horror.

I stand on two halves of divided opinions.

But when I stand for too long I often become the enemy. I am the enemy for being brave.

Let me tell you where I fell.

I fell at the words of others jabbing into me.

I fell at people thinking I was the source of drama.

I fell at people putting labels on me despite not even knowing me.

I fell. I fell at the hands of others.

Why can't they just understand it's not what I want? Would they think different if they knew?

Would they help me back up if they knew I went through years of abuse?

Would they help me back up if they knew I was in the middle of bickering parents for years of a childhood that was ruined due to drama and flames.

Would they help me back up if they knew that every night I have nightmares of the emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of people I loved.

Would they help me back up if they just understood that I didn't want any of this. That I don't want to start fights. That it's not my intention. That I don't want drama nor do I enjoy it.

Would they help me back up if they knew? If they knew it all? If they knew what happened behind the scenes would they help me?

I wish they would.

I try and I try and I TRY to dispel the bad things and not even give them a glance.

But it's hard.

It's hard to face it everyday. I try to keep on standing. I try. I TRY. And trying is good enough in my opinion.

I have tried so hard to make it known I'm not this evil person who wishes the worst upon everyone. I have tried so hard to get them to realize I'm a caring soul who just wants friends and to have a happy life filled with no drama.

I suffered the drama every day and my childhood was ruined because of the drama between family members.

I suffered.

I suffer now with having to medicate myself so I can actually feel like pulling myself away from my room which is the only place that is quiet from the worlds harsh words and bickering.

I suffer. I suffer now with having a few close friends by my side because nobody will listen to me.

But I stand.
I stand in a galaxy full of stars in a world that is more beautiful than ever.

There may be bad people and bad days that try and make it ugly.

But, this world is ever changing.
And so are you.

It may not be beautiful everyday, but it changes.

And maybe they'll change.
Maybe they'll change.
And stand with me.
Instead of.
Against me.

 

Much edgy, very drawing.

 

I'll put a label on you.
The label of being a great person.
The label of someone that didn't deserve to be treated so badly.
The label of being someone worth knowing.
The label of a fighter.
The label of staying optimistic despite the circumstances.
The label of an amazing friend.
The label of someone who deserves a second chance.

 

Spoken like a true poet.

 

PFFFFFFF I CAN'T WRITE

 

I stand in the background of a picture, where nobody notices me. I am usually blocked by something...

 

Push everyone else out so you can shine.

 

I would if I could... Those people shine very bright while I am in the dark. When I try to push them out, I just get deeper into the darkness...