Ultimate Shitpost Thread

Hello ladies and sissies,
I am here to announce the First ever, ULTIMATE SHITPOST THREAD!
In this thread, you will be tasked to do the greatest challenge ever.
Shitpost at your maximum potential, with a twist.

You see, I am a firm believer in competition, so if you shitpost, you must one-up the previous post
I'll start,


H.P Lovecraft was a hipster for his time.
He wrote down lines and made them rhyme.
I can see his draft, however and it was sad.
He wrote down lines but they were bad.
I will end his whole career with my stamina,
Truly friend, he does look like an anorexic Dracula

 

what the fuck does one up mean

 

I THINK IT MEANS YOU GO UP IN THE AIR 1

 

pls kill me now

 

Look if you had one shot, or one opportunity. To seize everything you ever wanted. One moment. Would you capture it or just let it slip?

His bombs are heavy; Kiev's weak, can't hold steady
His troops in Crimea already, scarin' John Kerry
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready.
To drop bombs - but he keeps on forgetting
About Moscow, the protests get so loud
He gives the order and right then the troops roll out
Fuck the pacifists, choke 'em out,
Peacetime's over, the game's up, WORLD WAR NOW!

 

dont mess with oryx

 

If the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not exist, explain this

 

potato potato potato potato

 

ShitShitShitShitShitShitShit

There, I shitposted

 

you rang?

 

Hello ladies and gentlemen I am going to do the taking of your time by making sure you are all doing the aware of the important factoid that everyone poops and if you do not agree with said fact then you can go die and bury yourself because I will have you know that I am a scientist that graduated top of there class in Nam and those below me applauded my every step towards victory as I killed all the Nazi Hitlers in Nam.

 

Looks like every other thread to me

 

This thread comes with 5% more natural shit and 10% more seasoning

 

this video has a lot of shit in it ... and bricks