The Most Depressing Post

Hope you don't mind reading dark things cause this is one of them.
[Might not want to read if you are young]​

I don't know why but I feel like I need to say it somewhere. So 2 years ago I discovered something (Actually many things but meh) (Which I'm not going to tell cause it's simply way too much personal) and since then, my life kept degrading and getting worse and worse. Now I'm near toutching the ground and don't care about anything anymore. It started not too bad with just being sad and with time became a bit worse, as dark minds, depression, can't concentrate anywhere, can't stop thinking about supposed to be bad things to people.. like being dead I guess? About 1 year ago I started cutting and hurting myself, as it became in my mind a good thing to do. Today I have lots of scars pretty much everywhere on the upper body, but as said above, I don't mind about it, sometimes I smile when looking at them. In that 2 years of complete madness, the person who I was before got destroyed and replaced by someone more.. agressive. I used to be the shy person in the class who never says a word and have 3 friends who avoid conflict and people who intimidate others, someone who would be a victim if these people decided to go after me. Now I speak more, have way more friends and compared to before, will go after people who intimidate others and people who create conflict to beat everything out of them. Usualy I have a murderous impulses and would probably not care to just kill them, I'll probably smile and laugh if I did. Hopefully I still have enough reason in me to not do it and control myself. Few day ago, I may have possibly almost killed myself and now I'm just bored of everything (Except animals :3). I'm the typical: Dead inside / Smile outside. I hurted myself so much that blades don't seem to hurt anymore and I think the only reason I don't actually end everything is to not hurt the people around me, but I'm pretty much sure I will soon don't mind anymore.

Anyway.. that's pretty much all I wanted to say. If anyone has some positive things to say, I'll be happy to read it. If it's negative you can say it too if you want, but I will probably don't mind or it will make me smile.

Have a nice day / Night.

 

Omg thats horrible. I hope you get better man im so sorry for you

 

A little part of my soul died inside...

 

Oh my god... I'll BRB, I need to go get some tissues...


EDIT: I'm so sorry for you man. I think I just died inside for a second.

 

All you need to know is this.

"...And while the lining isn't silver, we're verging on the side of the road, that'll take us home."

 

Don't do it.

There are so many opportunities to take and live for that you have yet to find. Please, stay strong and don't end it early. We only have little time to make of our lives, which is why we should live it to the fullest with positivity. I myself don't have a good opinion on life but it should never be taken for granted.

So I say it again, please do not end your life.

 

I feel sorry for you man, I think you should go look for help in the real world, ask anyone you think you can trust. Please, don't cut yourself, it saddens everyone here, and although you may not care, even I do, and for me you are just pixels on my screen.