Lore/Story The Eight Sages - Story - Prologue

Hi, this is a story written by me and inspired by a lot of things.

Warning: I would consider this quite graphic. If that kind of thing offends you, I don't recommend reading.

Note: I am still quite young, so don't expect this to be the next bestselling novel. Feedback is nice.

What if the four provinces clashed? How would the eight sages of the world act upon recent times?

(Thank you Selvut283 for giving me inspiration on how to design this thread)

------

Pronunciation guide

Gabriel: GAH-bree-ELL
Jakub: JAY-Koob
Kirbe: Kur-Bay
Veltus: VELL-Toos
Captain Opagi: OH-Pah-Gu-ee
General Eladec: Ill-Ah-Deck
------

Prologue

--=--=--=--
Part I

"On your feet, private! We are leaving!"screamed Captain Opagi, as he grabbed the man's arm and pulled him up to what seemed to be a wooden barricade. "The separatists have taken Nemract, we must fall back to Detlas." Opagi ordered, as he and the man leant their backs against the pinewood barricade. The ground all around them was charred black, with the occasional fire burning. Most of the coastal houses in the port town were torn apart, and there were frequent craters dotted around the city. Nemract wasn't the only settlement that was a complete wreck. Bremminglar had been completely leveled, and Maltic was almost unrecognisable. A tall yet somewhat skinny man suddenly came running to Opagi's side, and crouched behind the barricade. "Sir, word has come from Detlas." The man uttered. "What is it? Out with it man!" Opagi replied. "They have evacuated all civilians to Troms, where their army will defend them." The man said sternly. "That's good, we can retreat and hold fort there. Go back to Detlas and give them my orders. Order the men there to set up defences along the eastern and northern walls. Do not let anyone leave the city unless they are escorting the civilians." Ordered Opagi. "Yes sir, right away sir." As the man hurried off.

---
Part II

The army's withdrawal from Nemract came with heavy consequences. Over 6,000 civilians had fallen from the Separatist attack, and there had been 4,000 military casualties. "All right men, we leave now!" Screamed Opagi. "Private Gabriel, let's get moving!" Opagi then grabbed the man's arm and shoved a spear in his hands. Gabriel had the spear, which seemed to be imbued with a large spectrum of colours, as he ran as fast as he'd ever ran before. The occasional undead warrior rises, but a Wynnic soldier takes the spectral beast's head clean off, spurting crimson blood everywhere, painting the grass.

Gabriel suddenly heard a man, yelling "The separatists! They're here! They're here!" Gabriel turned around to see the man having an arrow struck through his shoulder, but that arrow had a magical presence. It was... glistening. It had ribbons of light all around it. Whilst Gabriel was daydreaming about the gleaming arrow of light, a meteor spell landed right in front of him, sending him flying, and then crashing into a stone pillar. The huge crater the meteor created was flaming, with black soil falling from the skies. "Wake up, Private! God damn it, wake the hell up man!" Yelled Opagi, as he shook him. "Hnugh? What's going on?!" replied Gabriel as he had awoken from his short lived slumber. "Get out of here, we have the Separatists on one side, the undead on the oth-" Opagi was stopped mid-sentence. Gabriel couldn't believe what he had seen. Several razor-sharp teeth sank into his neck, blood slowly trickling down his neck, running onto his hands. The scarlet blood had splattered onto Gabriel's body, as Opagi's eyes slowly turned white. Opagi's lifeless body slumped onto the floor. Tears slowly ran down Gabriel's face. He couldn't believe what he had just seen. The demonic brute was still festering on his body. Gabriel had curled up into a ball, as the events were flashing before his very eyes. "Hraaaaaagh!" Somebody yelled, as a spear went straight through the beast's head, sticking into the ground. "Get up, now!" Gabriel suddenly regained life, got up and nodded. He resumed his retreat to Detlas.

---

Part III

The remainder of the army had made it to Detlas. Gabriel had reported to General Eladec about Opagi's death. He certainly wasn't happy about it, but what is done is done. He then ordered Gabriel to rejoin the rest of his battalion and prepare for the imminent Separatist invasion. It was approaching dusk, and Gabriel was polishing his spear that Opagi had given him. He was sitting on the top bunk of his bunk-bed, when the blade suddenly shone brightly, and a sentence was glowing bright on it, reading "A warrior fallen, another rising. Another sunrise, another sunset.". "Wha- What the...?" Gabriel Muttered, as he dropped the spear out of shock. "What's this, eh? Your spear?" Said an arrogant, cocky looking man. He picked up the spear and the bright sentence had faded away as if it were never there. "This spear... it's rusted! It's pure crap, this'll never protect you!" The man attempted to snap the spear over his knee. Suddenly, he went soaring into another bunk-bed. He suddenly got a lot of angry looks, whilst the spear remained intact. Gabriel picked it up, and stormed out the barracks.

He sat on the eastern wall, next to a cannon placed to defend the humans from the Separatists. He let out a heavy sigh. A girl came and sat down beside him, and they just stared right into the sunset for a bit. "Hey, you scared?" Said the girl, not turning to look at him. "...Yeah, you?" Replied Gabriel. "Yeah. It's Kirbe. You?" Asked the girl. "Gabriel. Nice to meet you. Now, I've had a really hectic day, and I need some sleep, Goodnight, Kirbe" Said Gabriel, as he walked off, back to the barracks.

With the spear strapped to his back, Gabriel finally laid his head down on the velvet pillow, and forgot the events of the past day.


3 Years Later

--=--=--=--

He had woken up on a solid stone bed, to the sound of continued thumping, and soil falling from the ceiling. This had been the 12th consecutive day of the Separatist siege of Nesaak. They had already conquered Nemract, Bremminglar, Maltic and Detlas. They had encountered heavy resistance to the undead at the roots of corruption, and the Almuj desert had been hard to traverse due to increasing sandstorm activity. "Oh god, my back aches so much." Gabriel whispered to Kirbe, who had been sitting at the end of his bed for quite some time now. Over the past 3 years the pair had grown quite close, fighting the undead and Separatist forces. They were hiding in the Nesaak barracks, praying that they would be able to escape under nightfall, and retreat to The Great Bridge. "Alright lads, go to the campfire for a debrief of tonight's mission." Said General Eladec to his squad of soldiers. "Well, let's go then?" Asked Kirbe. Gabriel nodded, and the pair wandered to the campfire.

"At 1200 hours we will take the emergency exit, and flee to the Great Bridge. There we will wait for the Separatist forces and we will ambush them. We will then hold the Jungle and Troms. Got that?" A loud buzz of "Yes Sir's" came from all around the room. "Good. Ready yourselves, we are leaving in 8 hours." Kirbe and Gabriel went back to their bunks, talking about their encounters with the undead. "Yeah, I once threw a knife and it took that bitch's entire arm off!" Exclaimed Kirbe. "Well, I once decapitated seven zombies in a row, with just one spear!" Replied Gabriel, chuckling. Time quickly passes by, and the two are soon ready for the escape. "You scared, hun?" Asked Gabriel. "Scared? Pah. I was born an assassin, a fighter, not a coward!" Said Kirbe, jokingly. This is where this war turns around. This is where we put our foot forward.

... This is where we take the advantage.


--=--=--=--


Hey! Thanks for reading the prologue guys! This took quite a while, so please give me criticism on how I could do better! Don't forget to vote in the poll <3

Chapters I and II should be coming out in the next 3-4 1/2 weeks, depending on schoolwork. Please be patient. If you enjoyed this prologue, please tell me!

Spoiler: Special Thanks

@Bloww
@Bubbles
@Sohso
@Selvut283

-Spring
​

 

To long foor me to read

 

it's called effort

 

Oh, phew!

 

:)

 

bumping this

 

I think you may or may not have forgotten to put the poll.

I think just one apostrophe is appropriate, but I'm not that sure either. It just looks odd with two of them.

At first glance, I didn't think this would be something that I would read, mainly due to it being in standard format which I don't like all that much; but that's just me. And that about over half of the fanfics/stories on here don't really catch my eye. It looks like I'll have to get used to the format to read these from now on, in other words, I plan on reading the future chapters if you decide to release them. From what I've seen, this is rather good for someone who is "young." I didn't see any spelling or grammar except a couple errors and the gore made it that much more realistic in these type of situations. I just find whatever happened within the 14 year time-skip questionable. It could've been the case of nothing happening, but then again, 14 years is quite a long time. Perhaps "The conflict had continued on for 14 long years." would've been a good thing to add in there? As a prologue, it did its job in getting me to want to read more, albeit the first chapters will be a while from now.

 

Yeah, it was a mistake on my part. I will be adding the poll

I'll change those two mistakes, thanks for pointing them out.

Also, with the 14 year time gap I was tossing and turning about whether to change it to one year or at the most 5, I was really quite hesitant about the time gap. I will be shortening it


Thank you for the kind comments, it is really helpful :) I will be actually trying extremely hard to get the chapters out ASAP, but since I'm at school 5 days a week it's quite hard to find spare time to write :D thank you so much

 

what does this means? ;o

 

putting your heart and soul into something

 

bump







.

 

seems too much work

 

I'm sorry I can't continue this series, I really am. I would if I could, but I can't access my computer with 1 and a half chapters worth of chapters :/

 

hello friends and fetus alike;

whenever my laptop is fixed , the next chapter to this story will be released, if the demand is high enough. If this chapter gets 8x4/5s and 5x5/5 ratings then the next chapter will be released

 

So, the next chapter, or the rest of this story, will never be released/worked on if the "demand" isn't high enough?

 

oui, I won't put effort and time into something if people don't enjoy it

 

I understand, but wouldn't there be more people enjoying it and giving it more attention if you released more than just a prologue? You've only shown us one thing out of an entire story so far. There may also be people who do like it, but just didn't vote or Like.

 

That is true, I will rethink this. I'll post the next chapter asap, then I'll re-make the poll.

 

Hello Hello! Quite frankly, I like to read some of the stories people have posted on the forums, and this is really nice!!
Although it is just a prologue, it does seem to have a nice start! I like the initial beginning, it just seems to thrust you into an atmosphere of something drastic and serious happening, kudos!!
However, of course if you mind, maybe I could give you a couple of tips? Constructive Criticism of course!!
​

*I REALLY enjoy how you describe the story, i.e. the actions and details of it - However, perhaps some character development would be good. Perhaps some parts of flashbacks from the characters of their past could help give the reader something to go off of or maybe some descriptions of their features to help give some assumptions? Anything, but the main thing, tell us MORE about these people!!

*I like the story line you're using, just be sure to make it stay along its path. Personally, I sometimes go off topic on my writings whenever I'm in a bit of a stump. Nothing off putting here, but make sure to stay in your theme!!

*As said above, some details about the characters and backstory would be lovely. Perhaps in your next chapter, you could perhaps give something as a past history of the "Separatists" such as their motives or anything else lore wise.

***This is of course YOUR Choice!! You don't need to take account of what I said, this is YOUR story of course. Do as you wish!***​

Other than that, this is a nice start to your writings!!! I can't wait to read your latest chapters, and don't worry, take your time!! School does take time away, but you'll find it!
Until then, Thank You for starting this Story-Line Series! Please, do more!!!!
From, One Of Your Newest Fans,
~Katoshii​