Lore/Story Halo's Crapastas: Storymode.exe (trollpasta) [not For Kids]

Why hello there! yesterday I made a purposely bad creepypasta (aka a trollpasta I guess) called play.gof*ckyourself.com. It's only been a day so I can't really judge if it's been successful or not. I doubt it as that's the case for the majority of my time on the forums. However I recently read BOB.EXE; a trollpasta which parodies but also makes fun of a popular creepypasta called sonice.exe, I'm sure you heard of that one before. Basically its heavily overrated and its full of cliches...so yeah if you wanted the one and only IgbarVonSquid to do a "Does it suck or what?" video on Sonic.exe (idk why you would though its not even a minigame for a minecraft server) I can already tell you that it sucks hard, even harder than "The Lab" from the Hive mc server.

Anyways...after reading that trollpasta I got the idea to make a creepypasta based off of Minecraft story mode; the game that we all thought we were going to hate but in the end we actually got a nice little surprise and liked it in the end; or at least that's the case for me. As you can tell that it will make fun of sonic.exe and how much bs it is that the author happens to have a stopwatch on him at all times..as well as a few other problems such as the excessive amount of BLOOOODDDD. Oh and I figured that I would make this a series called: Halo's crapastas....yeah I know its not very original of a title but then again...most creepypastas aren't original anyway. Anyways I bring you...

Storymode.exe

I'm a telltales game maniac.

I can't help it I played everyone of their games, made every choice, and got all the endings (Halo's note: I'm no telltale games expert, so forgive me if their games really don't have multiple endings) ever since I was potty trained. I played The Wolf among us to Tales of the Borderlands, I played them all. The stories were so rich which makes you wan't to come back for more. I even got collections of their merchandise as well as fan made merchandise. I even watched the Walking dead TV series; at times it really sucked but I loved it anyway as it reminded me of the telltale game's Walking dead. My wallet is empty since I spent so much money on drugs and strip clubs in the first place being the middle aged single that I am in my empty room, so recently I couldn't buy their latest game: Minecraft story mode.

I was never a fan of minecraft. All you do is place blocks and break blocks and the game looks terrible and worst of all there's no story! How can you make a game with no story! Only n00bs play games for their gameplay regardless of story or graphics (I'm not making fun of people who also play for story or graphics all well, but personally graphics don't matter :p). However this was a different
occasion; this was a Telltales game so I HAD to play it regardless if the story is more simple since kids have too much brain damage to understand a good story (Not making fun of kids or those with brain damage, brain damage is a very unfortunate condition). However I couldn't cause I'm 2 poor

But that all changed when my Mom called me down:

"THE MAIL IS HERE, STOP BEING A LAZY ASS AND PICK IT UP GODDAMMIT"

I then yelled at her

"STFU MOM"

She then made a screaming/grunting noise as if she was constipated on the toilet
"NUUEEEEEEEGGG"

We continued to argue until our neighbor yelled to us since he heard our screaming

"SHUT THE HELL UP I'M TRYING TO MOW MY F*CKING LAWN, JESUS CHRIST!"

I eventually decided to get the mail

"Fiinnneeee"

I said in a sarcastic tone

I went down to get it but me being the common middle aged american who can't even see his own banana because of how "muscular" I am I decided to crawl my way down the steps. I eventually regained my wits and got on my feet. As I wen't back inside I wen't back to my room to open my package. I was disappointed at first to find out that my shipment of porn magazines didn't arrive but instead it contained a letter and a game cover. The letter was written in comic sans ms making me think

"This handwriting is terrible"

I then knew that it was from my old friend Xx_ZombieSmokerWeedKiller360_xX, we used to 420 blaze it together and eat Doritos and drink mountain dew on the couch together in high school. The message read:

Dear
xX_ZambieSlayerKillLord_Xx

I can't handle this madness anymore, I tried to destroy it but I'm too much of a lazy f*ck to burn it or even sell it on the thrift shop because reasons. So I decided to give it to you even though I don't wan't you to play it in the first place because logic doesn't exist in a creepypasta. So DON'T PLAY IT, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT PLAYING IT, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT NOT PLAYING IT, DON'T EVEN THINK AT ALL! Actually maybe do think cause you need to breathe. Basically I wan't you to destroy it but to not play it.

Also if you ignore everything I said and play the game anyway which is a possessed copy of Minecraft story mode and write down your experience to the style of some heavily overrated and highly cliched video game creepypasta I'll be so disappointed in you. But hopefully you won't as your my friend and I trust you. Its the only way...

Thanks,
Xx_ZombieSmokerWeedKiller360_xX

"OMG A REAL COPY OF MINECRAFT STORY MODE!!!!111"

I exclaimed as I got my high school fan girl mode activated ignoring everything that my friend just wrote to me because being a creepypasta protagonist I have no sense of common sense or logic what so ever.

I there away the letter out my window and looked at the CD inside the case. It was a plain looking disk with the words "Storymode.exe" badly written on it with a marker that reeked of tomato sauce and maple syrup. Most people would think that this is a bootlegged game but as I said before, I have no common sense because I'm a creepypasta protagonist and I immedietly assumed that this was the real deal since it had the words "storymode" written on it. I thew in the cd in my pc while constantly dropping the cd as my muscles ceased to function because of my excitement.

The game launched and everything was normal, the music composed by ANADEL, Antimo and Welles going on in the background in the main menu with the builders building their stands. I clicked play and for 0.567 seconds...yes I do have a stopwatch on me at all times but I can also remember very brief moments almost perfectly; The menu buttons looked liked mossy stone instead of the regular polished mc stone, the sky was red, the temple in the background was ruined, the wool blocks were stained in HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD, and the builders were dead laying on the floor in pools of HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD and in the lower left corner it read "666"....buuuttt this was only for 0.567 seconds so I must of been seeing things.

I immediately went to pick the default character in the selection screen and like usual I chose the default character but as I clicked on his icon the screen flickered for 0.12 seconds and then it came back up with an odd image of Jesse for only 0.1 of a second; who is the main character had empty black holes for eyes and HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD was dripping out of them all while he made his sly grin. But I was inside for the past few weeks without any sunlight so I must of been seeing things as I said before. *sad sniff* everyone thinks going outside is good for your health but NO!


There was a black screen for about 9.367 seconds before it took me to another character selection screen to my surprise. I thought that there was only one selection screen but then again I never played MC story mode or seen videos on it
surprisingly but no matter I was excited to play this game!

I somehow knew the characters names and there were four characters in the following order:
Axel, Olivia, Petra, and Lukas. And the music was odd, it was the default Minecraft music slowed up by 50% and played backwards...I guess that this was another music track composed by Antimo or someone else.

I hovered over Lukas first but he immediately seemed worried and scared as my mouse hovered over him. Pfft what a p*ssy I decided to pick Axel instead. The screen then flickered random colors for about 0.456 seconds but no game is perfect, there's bound to be some graphical glitches. Though I thought I heard a high pitched laughter that was almost demonic, possibly from a male but I wasn't too sure.

I then spawned in a tree house and I assumed that this was the starting area of the game, though oddly there was no beginning cutscene. But again I have no common sense so I ignored it. There was nothing in the chests so I climbed down the ladder, I walked through a forest, however pictures of Jesse's eyeless face while making his grin would pop up randomly with a little static in the image. You know what I did: I ignored it and blah blah blah...

I then came across a puddle of water and my reflection made me a little uneasy.
Axel's clothes were torn a little and he was way skinnier in the reflection with his rib cage showing a little like if he was malnourished, his hair was almost completely burned off, and his eyes were missing with black holes in the area where his eyeballs were with HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD dripping from them. I then heard a phrase in the background in a voice similar to the laughter I heard earlier that said:
"You seem a little large...let me fix that for you"

I then noticed that Axel was starting to gain the appearance that he had in his reflection and he was struggling to move over time and the screen was slowly getting more red. When he finally died he slowly began to decompose slowing his HYPER REALISTIC ORGANS , BONES, AND BLOOD. I couldn't bring up a menu or anything even though I could of turned my pc off. I was forced to watch his demise for a minute. The same picture of Jesse Showing his grin popped up except for 0.34 seconds rather than 0.33 seconds.

It brought me back to the character selection screen except that Axel looked depressed and his eyes were gone and I couldn't select him again. Without reason I continued to play and selected Olivia who seemed to have am expression of agony when I selected her.

I was in some sort base, I immediately recalled that this was the Order of the stone's hideout...I think. Except that it looked more reked than it already does in game, I could only go downstairs except that there was a hall way with huge stone pistons that seemed rather successful considering that they had HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD on them.

"Lets see if you can run through these pistons powered by REDSTONE, isn't that your specialty Olivia?"

The voice said

I successfully ran through 11 out of the 12 pistons coming down every 2 seconds. However when I was about to pass the 12th piston the image of Jesse with his black eyes with BLOOD tears and grin popped up again and I couldn't move and Olivia was crushed to bits and all I could see was a mass of HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD AND GUTS. The image below is what was left of her...

Image is in spoiler as its size is HUGE (also gore isn't allowed on the forums obviously so don't worry about any violent images)

Spoiler

I was then put back to the character selection screen and I couldn't select Olvia any more, like Axel she seemed depressed and had her eyes missing.

"Unbelieveable! He hacked!"

I exclaimed

I selected Petra and I was spawned in a forest except that the trees were bare and looked like they were burned.

"See if you can survive these waves of mobs for 6 minutes and 66 seconds"

The voice proclaimed

"This will be easy"

I thought as I can rekt mobs easily 360 no scope style

The first zombie spawned in and I slayed it

"Easy!"

I said to myself but then the image with Jesse's empty eyes and bl- actually I think I told you the description of the image enough. Anyway as that image popped up for 0.44667 seconds a mass wave of spiders and skeletons appeared. I was killed in a matter of 6 seconds.

"Not so tough now, are you?"

The voice proclaimed

"F*CK YOU YOU MOTHERF*CKING HACKER"

I shouted to him acting like an 11 year old player on Mineplex survival games. I was getting furious. Again, I couldn't select Petra anymore and she had no eyes as well except that her left arm fell off with HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD pouring out of where here arm was. There was only 1 character left: Lukas. As my mouse hovered over him he was shivering in fear uncontrollably and it looked like he was crying at the same time. That was when I decided to take a nap because it was 8:00 pm; my bed time. Like every creepypasta I had a dream where Jesse was shouting at me in the same voice as I heard before:

"YOU CANT DO IT"

He exclaimed

'YOU CAN'T LAST ANY LONGER!"

and finally as he came closer to me static became more visible and the sound that the static made became unnecessary louder. He then leapt at me with a terrifying high pitched screen and he ripped out my heart

"YOU WILL DIE!"

he exclaimed

"Thats Bull sh*t stop lying! You cant even hard scope n00b!"

I said in an act of defiance

Samuel L Jackson came in the room where Jesse and I were

"WHO THE F*CK ARE YOU!?"

he proclaimed

Jesse simply studded the words:

"I...UHH..."

Samuel L Jackson responded with:

"ENGLISH MOTHER F*CKER DO YOU SPEAK IT!?"

He then turned to me and stated:

"Hey, I have two words for you kid: f*cking, sleep"

Which didn't make sense cause I was already dreaming.

I woke up in sweat but I decided to continue playing the game cause again: no common sense or logic and blah blah...

I selected Lukas and as I selected him he simply sighed and said

"This could of all been avoided Josh"

I immediately ignored the fact that he knew my irl name and after that the screen flickered for 2.56768895642435 seconds, the voice appeared again:

"All you have to do is to be the first to build a house, this should be easy right? After all you are a builder Lukas"

This was easy as all I had to do continually push a button and I place down blocks unlike the normal Minecraft game. When I thought I finally defeated Jesse as he just stood there like a retard the image of Jesses face popped up for 1.234664756538264353746 seconds and he immediately beat me.

"NOOOOOOO"

I shouted

My neighbor seemed to hear me and he yelled:

"Jesus Christ how many times do I have to tell you: STFU IM MOWING DA LAWN!!!"

"Sorry!"

I said

I closed my windows and then Lukas just simply dropped dead. Unlike the other characters he didn't die a gruesome death he just...died. 2.45 seconds after seeing his corpse on the floor there was a black screen. Approximately 20.6457252527246276527225262724242623643534578453845624356 seconds after the black screen a most unpleasant image appeared...and no I'm not going to show it to you so stfu.

The image showed a hyper realistic image of Jesse standing there, his clothes were covered in HYPER REALISTIC blood and you could see the fold lines. His face was all hyper realistic that you could see his wrinklies on his pale face, you could see the individual hairs on his head and you could see his sharp fangs in his grin but this time it was more demonic as it spread cheek to cheek and there was red text in the image saying "I AM NOT GOD IM AN ATHEIST (not making fun of beliefs btw)"

"OOOHHHH OKAY YOURE AN ATHEIST, YEAH SURE THAT'S USEFUL!!"

I shouted

Anyways... the image...it was all in uncanny valley territory. I was forced to look at this image for 30.67532 seconds even though I could of turned off my pc. After those 30 seconds my pc turned off...probably because it hated the game as much as I did...I couldn't turn my pc back on so I made it play tea parties with me seeing that I have no friends. When I was about to take it to best buy to get it fixed I noticed that other than the obvious maple syrup stain on my pc I also saw a Jesse figurine who loosed exactly like the devilish Jesse I saw in the game...

"gee this doesn't make any sense at all"

I thought to myself



The end

Hi there! This took quite a longer time compared to play.gof*ckyourself.com (probably like 1 hour) I was a little disappointed seeing that the last bit seemed rushed and yes it was rushed, I wanted to be done with it quickly seeing that it was late when I wrote this. Also this is basically a rip off of BOB.exe other than the fact that it makes fun of half assed creepypastas unless that sonic.exe is in the same format as this which in that case I feel great about this creepy pasta more but I guess that was the point, if you hadn't read my last crapasta go check it out (its play.gof*ckyourself.com) also there's some grammar/spelling typos but I don't feel inspired enough to fix those problems

Okay byyyeeee

 

LEL That's kewl man

 

This is utterly beautiful and magnificently stupid. Keep em coming!