Lore/Story Friends » The Outskirts

Chapter 1
The Outskirts
Sam woke up. No one had woken up yet.

♀ | Samantha Lily | Aged 15

She looked in the caravan. It looked pretty old when it was dark, it was also scary. "That was weird." she thought. She hadn't feared of the dark before, it wasn't hard not to. She screamed as she saw something coming to her face. It was actually Miller, her close friend from Fruma. "Your face was really funny!" Miller said.

♂ | Miller | Aged 16

"Ok, ok! Don't wake them up!" Sam said quickly, but she was too late. Kyte had woken up. "Why are you shouting?" Kyte said angrily.

♂ | Kyte Martin | Aged 16

"Miller's scaring me and after that, laughing crazily!" Sam said. "Kids! Calm down!" The caravan driver must've heard them.

♂ | Caravan Driver | Aged 23

"Ok!" the three shouted. Because of the noise, Glenn woke up, scaring the others, Sam even started screaming as loud as she can. "Kids, com-" The driver couldn't tell the kids anything because of Sam's constant scream. "Sam, stop!" Glenn shouted. Sam stopped, realising she was disturbing them.

♀ | Glenn | Aged 15

"Come out! The trip is nearly over, you're going on foot from now on." the caravan driver said. When the kids came out, they said "Woah!" like a choir. "So kids, sorry not going till Ragni. The residents here said the zombies infested the mines and broke the bridge. It was the reason." He was a little disappointed of himself but continued talking. "I have weapons for Frumans in case something bad happens, they are in the chest at the back of the cart." Kyte shouted as the driver finished talking. "Here they are, a bow, a wand, a dagger and a spear. All well-carved." Glenn came next to Kyte and got her dagger. After, Sam quickly got his thin long stick. She wanted to examine a wand's magical properties. Kyte picked up the bow and arrows and wanted to see how it works, by killing some peaceful chickens wandering around. The last one to get his weapon was Miller, also having the advantage to be talked to the caravan driver. "Get these emerald to buy some helmets from the merchant beside the mines. Also, this potion is a gift from me, for not travelling till Ragni. Safety come first, always." The group's first journey had started, a group of four friends' journey. They talked with adventurers and residents, some saying interesting and useful things, such as magically emeralds drop from mobs, others saying things they know, like the fallen bridge. Walking and walking, they reached the bridge. The bridge looked delicate as it seemed like it was done using basic ropes. The canyon looked really dangerous, as you couldn't get back up if you fell. The resident said the tree to the left could make a path using strength. "One, two, three, push!" Kyte could lead the group well. "Yes, we did it!" Sam applauded, the tree was slowly falling to the other side. "Let's go, we've got to reach Ragni." Glenn calmly said. Miller quickly ran when they saw the merchant, who sells the helmets, the caravan driver had talked about. He talked to the villager, gave him the emeralds and returned to the three with four helmets. "We need these for safety, also to enter the Ragni mines." he said. "Hey!" They heard a shout. It was a boy, coming towards them. He looked 14, maybe 15. "Hi, I'm Gin." said the boy when he came.

♂ | Gin Marcus | Aged 14 | Mage

"Hi." Miller, Kyte and Samantha said in an order. Glenn, though, asked him, "Why are you here? I'm Glenn, by the way." She pointed at the group. "Kyte, Miller and Sam.". "Don't you know?" Gin didn't expect silence, and he continued, "The King of Ragni, he wants warriors for the city!". "Oh, I didn't expect a young boy like you would be accepted for a recruitment. How old are you?" Miller asked. Gin said unhappily, "14. A little young for this job, yes." He looked into the mines. "My sister Jude is in the mines. Shall we go? You can meet her." They entered the mines. They walked a little bit, and they saw Jude. While walking, a soldier shouted to them. "Help please! I can't get out!" Sam ran next to him as fast as possible. "We need to blow the fences up!" Sam said to the boys. Gin quickly got the dynamite. "I'm coming!" They put the dynamite in front of the fence. "We need to ignite it!" Glenn looked at the boys angrily, because they were in the pathway, just looking at them. "Ok... We got it." They came and Miller ignited the dynamite. They were not expecting the dynamite to blow up that fast, they didn't have time to run. The soldier was looking for them in the fog. "Where are you? Can you see me?"

Hub​

 

Spoiler: Spelling

Her*?

things, such*

emeralds drop*

I believe you write it as "dynamite" without the s*

"Calm down!*?

she thought*

There are some grammar things, but I'm not confident enough to say that I can correct those.

Also, what's the genre of this? Could you post it in the hub thread so that people get a gist of how it will be like? For example, comedic, romance, action and adventure (obviously), etc.

EDIT: and maybe a synopsis/summary of the story.

 

ok ill fix those, ill also say the type of the story, but i dont think a summary would ve good.

 

I like it :P

 

danks

 

Great fun to read but next time don't try as hard. You are somewhat forcing the story which makes some thing seem awkward. You said "Kyte picked up the bow and arrows and wanted to see how it works, by killing some peacefulchickens wandering around." This would be better if you said something more like "He drew his bow, testing the range on dome of the animals near by."