An Average day at OpM

Paid Commission by @Skidooskei

It was an average winter at the OpM (Opus Maximus) headquarters when all of a sudden a thunder crash arose from outside. Lari, after entering the dern portal, had crashed directly outside of the opus maximus headquarters. SirKiddo, Skidooskei, and Doc all descended from the maze to see what was going on. "Have you seen my beloved ava" Lari asked, to which Doc went back into the maze, and skidooskei said "No". "What was I talking about I seem to have forgotten" Lari responded. "We should take you to like, a hospital or something" SirKiddo said, leading lari into the maze, and showing her the secret healing fountain in the center, after which she departed.

"Okay guys now that that is out of the way, let's say we go, bully, the_cactus_mann" Sirkiddo wistfully replied. Doc stumbled out of the maze, confused, and asked "why is dragyte in there crying over a shrine to wxhlf". Sirkiddo simply gave doc a look of how incredibly stupid it was to even ask a question like that, and doc shamefully nodded. As they went down into the secret maze nightclub, they found cactus crying over his family members that kiddo had sacrificed. "Why, why did this happen to me" Cactus exclaimed. The tears at this point were overwhelming and any sane person would feel bad.

"Because it was absolutely hilarious" SirKiddo replied, with Skidooskei nudging him to let him know this wasn't the time. Cactus lashed out at kiddo, but was absolutely decimated by Sir's Alka war build. "You really shouldn't be so mean to him," Skidoo said as he comforted cactus, snow bleeding from his planty exterior. "Okay skidoo, I will, for this Christmas season only, be kind to cactus" Sir whined. "Why... my family..." Cactus sobbed. Bongo, ever the voice of reason, descended into the hideaway and poured cactus a kid-friendly drink. "Hey cactus, let's talk awhile," Bongo said, leading cactus to the club.

"Why are they so mean to me, what did I do to deserve this" Cactus said, tears filling his eye."Let's talk outside, maybe do something with the snow". As cactus and bongo built a snowman, bongo said "You know, Sir really cares about you, even though it might not seem like it". "HE LITERALLY KILLED MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY" Cactus exclaimed. "Well yes, but that's just his way of showing he cares, he's never thrown you into the void now has he" bongo softly said. "Well no, I guess not but I feel like he would" Cactus sighed. "Maybe, but he still cares, you just have to have faith," Bongo said, patting cactus on the back then getting his hand stabbed on a spine.

SirKiddo entered the maze to try to look for dragyte, who had been awfully quiet as of late. He stumbled upon Drag, crying over wxhlf, who had abandoned him to go back to atlas inc. Drag had entered a state of depression since then, building a shrine in the maze to honor his beloved shark lover. "Hey there bud is this uh... bones?" Sir nervously asked. "Yes they are my bones," drag said, moving around in a fluid pile. "Uh, have you chosen your gift for the Opus Maximus secret Santa event yet" Sir Asked, knowing damn well drag probably did not. "Uh no, but I'm close, really close" drag stated. Sir simply nodded and said, "You know, its probably for the best, not all good things can last and you are young and can recover". "But I don't want to recover, I want wxhlf!" Drag cried, and at this point, Sir had already left.

It was the night before the secret Santa exchange, and Sir was hard at work rigging the secret Santa event so Skidooskei, the resident rich guy in the guild, would be given him. He rigged the other results as well, just really to play with people's heartstrings. Skidoo, looking through the window at Sir rigging the results, simply sighed, this was just who Sir was. He always expected better, but he never got what he wanted. He wondered who Sir would rig him with, and just hoped it wasn't drag. Bongo joined Skidoo at the window "Is he really rigging it again this year, does anyone at this point not realize it's rigged". "Cactus probably doesn't, and drag might not, but everyone else, yeah they know" Skidoo replied. "Let's catch some sleep, it can be so hard to come by in this guild" Bongo aptly stated.

The day had come, and it was time for the secret Santa exchange. Everyone gathered around the blood altar and got ready to open their presents. "I'll go first, As usual" Sir said, rapidly tearing open his gift. It was a pair of mythic boots, fresh from one of Skidoo's lootruns! "wow! thanks! I wonder who gave me this" Sir said, lying through his teeth. "Skidoo, you next," Sir said. As skidoo carefully unwrapped his gift, it was a pair of antique bongos, easily several hundred years old. "Huh. Better than last year, at the very least" Skidoo exclaimed, excited he hadn't been given a totem made of bones and hair again.

"Alright, now it is your turn Doc," Sir said, giggling with excitement. As doc opened the gift, he burst into absolute ecstasy. It was sour cream cookies, freshly baked! SirKiddo looked confused, as these cookies looked as if they had just come out of the oven, and hadn't been sitting under the tree all night, but he shrugged it off. "Bongo, you next" Sir Stated. Bongo unwrapped his gift to find... A totem of bones and hair resembling a shark. "Uh, whoever made this gift must have uh... put a lot of effort into it," Bongo polietly said, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. "Okay only two people left, whose next," sir asked?

"I guess I'll go next" drag lamely sighed "It can't get any worse than last year". As drag opened his gift he found a jar of bees, fresh from the hive. "THIS IS GREAT, I LOVE EATING BEES! THANKS!" Drag loudly yelled. "And finally we have cactus" Sir said with anticipation. Cactus carefully unwrapped his gift to find... no.. this couldn't be... it was a picture of cactuses family, the family he thought was dead, on a cruise around the ocean. Cactus was at a loss for words, and Sir Simply smiled. This was, in its truest form, an Opus Maximus gathering.

(I apoligse for all the inside opus maximus references that no one will understand, a unavoidble nature of the paid commision).

 

oh my god what are you doing skiddo please your children are going to look up your name in twenty years and this is going to be the legacy you left behind

 

Honestly would rather my children see me as a shitposter then a tiktoker

 

Well worth my 10.5le

10/10 would fantasise again