SPOILER A Definitive Tier List For Every Gavel Quest

What's going on crazy kids,

Lysis here, back at it again with another tier list. My towns and cities tier list sparked some intense controversy. Good. Like Alfred once said in that Batman movie, "some men just want to watch the world burn." And it appears I am one of those men.

So here we go boys and girls, let's venture into the magical land of Gavel as we review its many quests and adventures. I'm only going to do Gavel for now. I don't really feel like fossilizing while I type into my computer for hours upon hours. If this thread picks up enough wind, I will consider doing Ocean, Corkus and Wynn quests too!

So as promised, let's get this bread.

DISCLAIMER: Same with my previous tier list, this is not a serious and analytical review. Some people don't understand the concept of me having a bit of fun. So I'll make this crystal clear because certain people seem to take everything seriously and can (and will) get offended.

S Tier
Memory Paranoia - A truly timeless Gavel classic. This quest is so good that I can't help but review it seriously without a drop of sarcasm. The cut-scenes and the general theme of it is amazing. 11/10, 5/5 doctors recommend.

The Ultimate Weapon - Oh, the quest? It sucks ass but I like my 7 LE.

Cowfusion - What's more pleasing than getting milked in an online game by a milking machine while the game supposedly transformed you into a cow? Nothing, that's what.

Beyond the Grave - Death seems like a nice guy. He has a king sized bed, he has a spirit pet, he likes to keep his table clean and likes long walks along the forests of his colorless realm. Shoot your shot, ladies. Never mind, hes married.

Dwarves and Doguns Parts 1-4 - Many have waited entire lifetimes for the Molten Heights story line, and I must say, although the parkour inside of Garaheth's rectum anus or whatever is a pain in the ass (no pun intended), it was a grand epic story line that really delivered. I always wanted to watch a poorly acted play, join a conspiracy theory club, find out said conspiracy is true, side with a frantic dwarf kid who's actually royalty, listen to a dwarf say "Damn it all" to a Corkian drill, vandalize some imperial property, cause said frantic dwarf kid to get disowned, escalate tensions between two races that already have knives to each other's throats, run around Maex for a couple hours making shit, vandalize some more imperial shit being a giant statue, then go inside a demon monster and fuck around inside its body. A truly inspiring adventure.

Dogun: Is brutally extinguished and made lifeless in stone.
Dwarves:

Qira Hive - "Qira Hive, Qira Hive, Qira Hive. The other place that will crush your hopes and dreams..."
- @Shots
Need I say more?

Shattered Minds - Seems a little inappropriate to have a psychedelic trip in a supposed children's game. It's totally not based on a real drug or anything. Sheesh, why so uptight. Anyway, I'm totally a druggie so of course I like this quest. Trips are the best when you see giant cakes, squid monsters and burning people who run as fast as this guy. Even better with parkour that kills you if you fail.

Hidden City - Holy fuck. This one really is confusing.

Fantastic Voyage - Fuck yeah. Let's go on a voyage with fucking Dr. Suess Cat in the Hat shit and explore the dank lands of some fuckin' dank dark place that we probably just breezed through on our 35/35 chestnut horse. This quest pitches the Wynncraft theory of "Anything that can go wrong in a quest will go wrong." Broken steering wheel? Check. Shipwrecked? Check. Taking ages to gather materials because the sheep have a 0.25% to drop mutton? Check. A goddamn dark portal that leads to an unknown dark dimension? CHECK.

A Tier
Master Piece - This alone makes this quest fucking worth A Tier no matter how boring or dry it is:

• Caissop: ... OH, NO, NO. YES! MORE COLOR, MORE PAINT! I'M OUT OF RED!
• Caissop: I'LL JUST USE MY BLOOD! OH! YES! ... INSPIRED! REMARKABLE

Acquiring Credentials - Oh shit, we're heading into the black market. Forging IDs, helping old drug addicts and totally not breaking the law after we enforced it literally in the same level.

The Bigger Picture - Yeah, this about describes it perfectly.

Flight in Distress - This quest supports the Wynncraft theory of "Anything that can go wrong in a quest will go wrong." A missing child? Check. Broken Engines? Check. A motherfucking sky pirate assault? CHECK. (Buggy red stone? Check.)

One Thousand Meters Under - This is the pinnacle of stupidity. SO YOU HAVE MAGIC AND APPARENTLY AIRSHIP TECHNOLOGY, BUT ROPE IS USED? WHAT THE FUCK?! Once again, the theory of "Anything that can go wrong in a quest, will go wrong" is reinforced.

Royal Trials - Ah, dive into a rich adventure of piracy as Wynncraft explores the issue of gender assumption and feminism. And also sexism, because its a pirate QUEEN. Sheesh. Also, fuckboys who played flappy birds on their phones in 8th grade will enjoy this quest.

Recipe for Disaster - You see the content team really missed an opportunity with this one. "Hamsey" needed to swear more. It's not a Gordon Ramsay spin off if hes being nice to someone at any given point. Hell, it isn't a Gordon Ramsay spin off if hes not comparing bad food to weird items, aggressively locating the lamb sauce and saying fuck off to 4 different people at once while hating on everything and everyone in the entire fucking room.

Secret of Aldorei Parts 1-2 - Apparently being a little greedy is really unforgivable. But taking some rare medical crystal dust for no charge, making you run around their valley like an idiot while laughing at your ass, and then faking a mutiny and a murder is OK.

Hunger of Gerts Parts 1-2 - To sum it up: Help lazy drunk people sort out their own problems in the form of some cannibalistic, farm animal eating pumpkin heads. Commiserate with sad farmers. Pretend to be said pumpkin monster, shut down a battery farm from a weird psychopath making pig thingies and complaining about first world food problems. Helping out both sides of the war. Way to play Switzerland.

An Iron Heart Parts 1-2 - Fucked up story. But at least you can pretend not to care and accept the bribe from Dr. Uterus or whatever his name was. The guard golems we have known and loved for years turned out to be a fucking mixture of iron and the flesh of the villager. If this doesn't traumatize you, I don't know what will. But then again, who cares? Everyone kills villagers for no reason anyway.

The Fortuneteller - So what's the point of a god dragon giving you a book if he's about 140% sure you're going to sell it for money. -8 points for beanstalk parkour being the most nerve wracking thing.

Hollow Sirene - What guy puts in his will: "I wish to be buried wearing my earmuffs, standing upright so I look like an idiot." To anyone who fought the Banshee with headphones, you have my pity.

Eye of the Storm - Wynncraft: In Gavel there is no corruption. Also Wynncraft: giant fucking hand rupturing out of ground with red and black stone akin to the roots of corruption.

General's Orders - So this is irritating because you have to be this fucking X-men Mystique, T-1000. Shang Tsung slime's bitch for a couple of random ass, annoying and pointless tasks. Until you finally fight him and he turns into a chicken, then an elf, then something else, then a mushroom creature. Oh the satisfaction of hitting him through all his transformations...

B Tier

A Fighting Species - Remember those orcs 20 levels ago? Well, um... we aren't really done with them actually. But we will be if you cosplay as one and fight their leader.

Headless Hunt - Oh no, all those poor souls. Poor souls that we still haven't freed because the content team has not yet made a quest or dungeon in which you fight Mr Dullahan, the headless, slave driver dude.

Canary Calls -

• Grenot: Hey traveler! Would you mind if I send you to your death in this mine shaft real quick? Yeah there's actually live explosives and toxic gas, but we know you're going to help us for sure.

Heart of Llevigar - Who built this thing? God damn... Apparently our character suddenly has a degree in mechanical engineering from Harvard prior to doing this quest.

Star Thief - If outer space exists in Wynncraft, then wHy cAn'T wE add GuNs to tHe GaME.

Rise of Quartron - Sorry, not really keen on parkour up a fucking robot whist taking flamethrower damage. Also, how the fuck did they manage to steal so much quartz when these guys exist in the quarry to guard it???

Shadow of the Beast - If a giant big foot creature was casually hanging out around Olux, I'm pretty sure everyone would fucking notice. Especially when it tramples farmland and houses, and just overall, causes a shit ton of commotion. Anyway, always wanted to fight a true Canadian legend in Wynncraft.

Reclaiming the House - This one is fun to be honest. It has that spy kids kinda fucking vibe to it and as you make your way through the outpost you can hear the faint tune of the Mission Impossible soundtrack at the back of your head, until you accidentally set yourself on fire in those goddamn narrow hallways.

Taproot - Pick some flowers, talk to trees, travel through time, watch a worm come out the ground. An all around good time.

The Thanos Vaults - Weeeeeeee! We all love mine cart rides! Don't we. Can't imagine the pain of having to go through a roller coaster every morning to work for those dwarves.

Belly of the Beast - Wynncraft Logic: When a creature is too big to be a custom mob, the solution is always to go inside the creature.

Marauder's Dues - Most wizards in games or movies, and general pop culture are wise, but the one here is just an asshole honestly. Anyhow, it's a nice short and sweet quest, if you don't over jump the tower part and accidentally kill yourself.

Purple and Blue - "Purple and Blue" is probably the most obscure and ambiguous quest name there is and while it certainly didn't disappoint for the most part, we gotta be curious as to why the quest NPC states it's rude to just break into someone's house. I mean, are our character's never taught manners? Because we've been doing this since ever and this is a relatively higher level quest. Feels bad to only know how much a dick we've been more than 3/4s the way into our adventure.

From the Mountains - To be honest, the thought of binding your mortality to an everlasting flower isn't such a bad idea. Until of course, those magma Fleris things start burning up the root. Needless to say, your friendly quest NPC looks like a total idiot because of this incident. Also, the Dropped Dentures was a nice, fun touch. A fun quest, but 40% of the fucking player base probably didn't do this quest until /fixquests was introduced because like the sloppy fucks we are, we have somehow managed to lose our Breathing Helmet II.

Lazarus Pit - Oh, so just because Wynn has a supposed "Fountain of Youth" or "Healing Water" shenanigans, Gavel has one too? I mean, what kind of logic is that?? Just because the US has a Grand Canyon, doesn't mean Iraq has one too... Whatever, geography is fucked up either way. Anyhow, it's the same drill, guy is sick, help guy find said "Healing Water" and happily ever after. Accept no, it's not happily ever after because every moment spent in the Dark Forest is nothing but sheer depression and gloom. For fuck sake.

Murder Mystery - The perpetrator in this quest honestly deserves a spot on America's Dumbest Criminals for:

• Using the most messy method (decapitation via axe) to murder someone. Then leaving the decapitated head of the victim dead in the fucking center of the crime scene.
  
• Hiding the murder weapon in an obvious room literally right above him with an unlocked door.
• Freaking out at the mention of his name before a fucking accusation is made.
• Sarcastically calling the private investigator "officer" (never a good idea)
• Lashing out rudely when you go near the room with the murder weapon.
• Keeping the murder weapon that is not only bloodstained, but makes an obvious flapping sound.
• Keeping the murder weapon in the first place.
• Downplaying the word of the criminal he directed you to.
• Leaving an oddly suspicious trail of blood leading to an even more suspicious note.
• Giving details on the only place that could give details that would backfire on you.
• Saying "I've done nothing wrong" multiple times for no given reason.
• Giving away the meaning of the bat symbol, a symbol in which most of Cinfras and definitely the law enforcers, do not know the meaning of.
• Calling the murder victim a "danger to society"
• Threatening you with "My lawyer will be in touch." A phrase that is a dead giveaway to someone's lack of innocence.
• Totally just chilling in his house even after law enforcement has arrived on the crime scene.

Fallen Delivery - To be honest, I really liked this quest. They tried to replace teleportation scrolls with some other spell. Given the negative impacts it has on your mental health, it's concerning. But I am really more concerned in Gawrick's "Cheese to Wine" magic. Holy shit, imagine the fuckening that would happen to the already fucked up economy when that happens. One Uth rune would cost like 2 stacks. And a Stratiformis's price would literally cause an infinite resource, emeralds, to become finite. Oh god please no.

C Tier
Enter the Dojo - Sensei says people spend their entire lives training in the dojo but I came in and left a master in 10 minutes, bitch. Do better, Mr. Wax on Wax off.

Green Skinned Trouble - Come on. Here we go with the racism again. Why isn't it white, yellow or black skinned trouble. Why green skinned trouble? Not cool, content team. Please reevaluate your ethics.

??? - This is the only quest I've never actually done, so I cannot rank it fairly, but I am still going to rank it anyway... I have to work with other people??? Ew.

From the Bottom - (badly raps) Started from the bottom, now we're here. Is our character really so stupid to not keep any of those insane treasures just to get one LE? Jesus. We're fuckin' stupid. And why would anyone like the smell of troll hair- actually, I don't think I've smelt it before so hey no judgement there. But eww what the hell is wrong what that dwarf. For real.

Finding the Light - What's the point of doing all these good deeds for people to get some fuckin' swag glasses when you've literally already broken the law before, and will certainly break it again multiple times.

Realm of Light - A glorified fetch quest with the unfulfilled promise of a good fight in Orphion. Level 100s are antsy waiting for the conclusion of this story of Light and Decay. Honestly, Light Realm is cool, but god damn the quest features these Heliolux thingies that are literally pure light humanoids. Oh god, please, just why is this realm exactly like the psychedelic mushroom trip in Shattered Minds. What if our entire fucking journey on Wynncraft was one big drug trip, and you wake up in your bed on the caravan to Ragni after the long awaited conclusion. I'm not suggesting this please don't fucking do it I swear to god.

D Tier
Pirate's Trove - You're telling me that there is an obvious hole in one of the giant statues in the city, right in the eye of the statue. And no one noticed? You would think greedy villagers would search every inch of the city for a penny, but no, that obviously isn't the case. Elves are smiling ear to ear.

Clearing the Camps - Oh boy, don't we all love a little genocide. Imagine travelling to a new, supposedly magical place, and two quests in, some guy asks you to commit literal genocide against a species. For someone mostly fighting undeads up to this point, this has got to leave a queasy feeling in the stomach.

The Maiden Tower - What would any MMORPG be without a rendition of the legendary Shrek? There's a dark twist however, Fiona gets brutally murdered in her own tower and Shrek's absolutely fine with it.

Crop Failure - I am genuinely convinced that Olux does not have any basic fucking hygiene at all. If there's literally a green sludge of sewage just chillin' around, along with literal human "Unclean Bones" that move around, I think we have a pretty big problem.

Death Whistle - If you're going to sell illegal herbs and deadly flowers in a caravan, you might want to park it a little further away from the city. Anyway, if the potion of death causes you to die with one sniff. Is drinking it basically the equivalent of what kids call "Clorox Bleach" these days?

The Worm Holes - We've already established that the Olux swamps is among the worst places to live, unclean water, witches, evil plague doctors, evil mad scientists, rampant kidnapping... The list goes on. But not one, but multiple fucking holes at least 100 meters deep right outside the city. Oh boy, this one's the cherry on top.

E Tier
Canyon Guides - Don't you love when the very person you're trying to save has the attention span of a fucking goldfish? Also love how he'd rather starve in the cave rather than potentially seek hospitality in the settlement of Thanos less than 200 meters away.

Forbidden Prison - Oh boy. Heat seeking dogs, and suspicious empty prison cells are just the beginning. This quest had a lot of potential. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I recall there being an NPC in Gelibord talking about how the brutal prison dumps the corpses of their prisoners in the river... something like that. We could have had a cool little quest of an insane prison driven by an even more insane warden, freeing innocents and shutting the prison down for good. Nope. We got a quest that fucking starts with you getting arrested, ending with you jumping in the fucking water. Good fucking job. 1/10.

F Tier
The Lost - refer to link.


That's a wrap boys and girls! Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

I hope I didn't give you a disease reading this, because I may or may not have just gotten ligma reviewing so many quests.

- Lysis.


EDIT: The legendary bovine himself, Salted liked this!

 

Gotta say these tier lists of yours are pretty neat, keep them going!

Also from my experience in the community putting Eye of the Storm in Tier A is a... unique choice to say the least.

 

Pscyhomancer is BILL's dad THEREFORE hecking GOD TIER quest.

 

KITE PSYCHOMANCER TO NEMRACT

________________________________

My bad. It should be Z tier because any quest with the mention of Lexdale, let alone it being a key location in the quest is automatically all ruined.

 

This is the only reason needed for a rank infinitely far below F, where the quest truly belongs

 

Some of the jokes are kind of a bit uh "mean" and not funny imo, but other than that, good job!

 

Sorry my soul is forever stained with the blackness of dark humor. LOL keep it to yourself if you don't want to share my fate. I can't keep all the snowflakes pure you know. If anyone's offended, I'll remove anything though. I'm glad, but also surprised you have the guts to speak up.

Trust me I'm already pulling my punches. This is a forum for a minecraft server, not reddit. So I have to hold back. Which is a good thing, probably.

 

Good tier list, but how the hell is "the canyon guides" higher than "the lost" wtfrick.

 

Once again, this is all a big joke. Nothing is ranked seriously. I am an insane person who's brain is scrambled eggs.

On a serious note, I think it's totally easier now because your AOE does not hurt Seluc when you try to protect him from the mobs. The only annoying part is the fact that, well, he doesn't always follow you and you have to be literally kissing him to get his attention. I guess the concept is a lot cooler than simply walking to people and giving them notes, then reporting back to the quest giver. I'd say my decision is justified.

 

Hold on... you're already holding back?!?! The fuck?

 

10% power.

 

Eye of the Storm feels like it has the makings of an amazing quest (especially considering how good the atmosphere is in Kander Forest), but fails to really follow through. Kind of like WynnEx D actually, imo.

 

Honestly I still think the wynnexavation storyline is one of the best and least aged ones to this day.

 

This thread isn't getting enough attention. So I'm going to hold off on any future tier lists.

They actually take time, surprisingly

 

I know it's just a joke, but seeing the Ultimate Weapon ranked there makes me cry

 

Me too.