Lore/Story Sui and the mind

It’s the end of summer, and I’m sitting here outside, on the porch. It’s night, everybody’s asleep or is dozing off inside. I feel this light breeze on my arms and through my hair, gently caressing it and making it brush against my skin. The stars and the moon shine beautiful in the deep and dark sky, while little crickets sing in harmony with the sound of flowing water and the charming notes of the windchimes. It’s almost as if the forest is whispering a lullaby, while the leaves gently float and dance in the wind. All the little animals, in their tiny world; all the fungi, all the graceful plants, I wonder what they are thinking… I wonder, if they are at peace with the Universe, if they feel a connection with the stars… I wonder if they’ve healed after the Anathema has been beaten, or if they’ve always never cared about us humans and our troubles, or if they are starting to feel a change in the balance. Changes… The breeze grazes my skin, I shiver in the dark, and I hear music in my head, music that must not be from this world, and it’s as if it’s speaking to me… There’s this feeling I get when I look to the west, and my spirit is crying for leaving… It’s in my liver, it’s in my heart, it’s in my head; it’s in front of my eyes and my dreams, in my visions of the ocean. Why does it feel like troubled tranquillity? I feel better, I definitely feel better, I keep yearning for the equilibrium, and I’m closer and closer to it, I feel it, but… I know there’s a crack; the waves are in unrest, it’s as if there’s a threat looming over us, inevitable change rolling towards us. I’m stronger, I’ve grown, I know I need to confront it, I know I have the power. Yet, I can’t help myself but to feel excited, nostalgic, calm and overwhelmed at the same time… What even are feelings? How can somebody perceive such a mix of emotions inside themselves, like explosions of colours, celestial symphonies, words of a never-ending story? The tale is just at the beginning, and here I am, with a pen in my hand, capturing this moment, trying to avoid letting it slip away, amongst a mess of blotches of ink, faded photographs, ideas never concretized, drawings unfinished… And this music, this confused yet beautiful yet haunting music, it won’t leave me, reminding me of all the rings of smoke I see in my thoughts through the trees… My head is humming; I need a piper to bring me to reason… I nervously move in frustration; it’s impossible to express with this pen and paper what I feel in my mind. So many things, so much to do, I just want to let it out, oh my dear God, what will be of this, what will be of me, it’s like the Bloom, I’m pathetic, I’m great, I still could not express my visions, my nostalgia, what I am missing, what there is to come, everything everywhere all at once, the forest, a walking man, the cold, the heat, the canals, the water, the streams, the earth, the ice, the fire, the thunder and lightning, the speed, the dirt and the plants, the music, the islands; Apotheosis, new challenges, the heart racing, the mistakes, the flames, the friends, the love, the books, the tales, the artist, the threats, the wings, the flight, the sleep, the stairway upon the wind, the Heaven, the Hell, the poetry, the magic, the meanings, the thoughts, space, stars, moon, no I can’t stop, worlds afar, continents drifting, islands and love again, peace, shooting stars and I don’t know what to wish for, I want to be happy, I want to live this beautiful and complex life, among the science of the Universe, in the mist and the uncertainty of the atoms that make up the people I’ve known, I know and I will know. Look, a period. These echoes in my head, thinking that sometimes our thoughts are misgiven. All is a mess like a bustle in a hedgerow. But tonight the air is fresh, and I got thoughts, I want to sing, I want to enjoy every single moment; what’s happening, I don’t care, I know you are watching over me, Second Sovereign, but I’m like the Sixth, I’m tired but relentless. And now, it’s time to relax. Grateful for what I have. I am now Comfortably Numb. It’s like a game, a game of glass beads, maybe I read too much, trying to find the balance between black and white, between the one and everything, and I need to be ready, I need to be unscathed, like a willow in the wind, cold like my magic, still tasting the warmth of my emotions. Every step is different, travelling in the fourth dimension, and we need to embrace change, the highs and the lows. Isn’t this also the beauty of life? The shades of the vibrant or desaturated colours that give a soul to the complex Universe? I hear a distant tolling of an iron bell, hits like home… I don’t have to overthink, for now the song is over, I don’t have much else to say, and I’ll keep listening to the colourful music of the world. And you, what are you doing, reading this? Think what you will, be amazed or disappointed, this is my mind.