SPOILER Wynncraft Rekindled is the Illuminati

Spoiler: Disclaimer

Disclaimer: Yes, this is a shitpost. It is a direct successor to Gavel Reborn is the Illuminati. I have one joke. It's quality is questionable

There are very real spoilers for the end of the game in here so. Be warned.

Curtain opens on an empty stage.

KLEPTO ENT USC, falling from the sky, X DSR

Well, well, well. We are back. We are so back. We are the backest we have ever been.

For I, the GREAT SCHOLAR THAT I AM, have determined! That Wynncraft Rekindled IS the Illuminati.

So where do we start, you may ask. Or maybe you didn't. You don't have a choice. You will learn where we start.

Of course, it all starts with the trailer.

Projector screen rolls on from SL.



One minute and fifty-seven seconds. Also known as one hundred and seventeen seconds.

And now! To the wikipedia, my most trusted source of information.

Now, the wikipedia states that "117 is the smallest possible length of the longest edge of an integer Heronian tetrahedron (a tetrahedron whose edge lengths, face areas and volume are all integers." (Source)

Tetrahedorn = traingles = yada yada illuminati show's over folks.

But that's kind of boring. Also too direct. Something is amiss. Afoot, you may even say.

Well. I think. That I CAN DO BETTER.

Switch to next slide.



hm. what's that? Computer, enhance.

Image zooms in.



why does it specify NUMBER. as if there could be any other things that are 117, righ-

Next slide.



oh hello there

Image zooms in.



master chief you son of a gun, i'm on to you

this man is a cultural icon according to some scholars. i am not of their ilk. i am better.

Low-Res JPEG of MASTER CHIEF rolls on from SR as the projector screen is rolled off SL.



anyways. this man was in the Halo series, originally developed by Bungie and then by 343 Industries.

Low-Res JPEG of MASTER CHIEF rolls off SR.

Oho! A fun number! 343!

Years of internet access have prepared me for this moment. For I know. That 343 is also SCP-343. A.k.a. God. Or at least very powerful.

I don't know where God factors into this. I'm sorry.






But we do know that there are some gods in Wynncraft. If you're looking at lore, then it goes to like. Orphion or something. But that's old news. 1.20 news.

This is 2.1.

But actually not really, as the aforementioned trailer features Orphion right at the start.

Projector screen rises up from the orchestra pit.



All I can see though is a distinct lack of Assassin.

Think about it.

Projector screen VANISHES in a puff of smoke.


Okay now that you've thought about it I can reveal the grand answer to the grand mystery.

42​

no
it's not 42 i just thought it would be funny.

Anyways, assassin is 8 letters long. If you take it so that each letter is assigned a numerical value according to its place in the alphabet, you get.

1+19+19+1+19+19+9+14 = 101.

Woah. Think about THAT now, huh? 101 is typically used for like. Introductory stuff. The basics. Which means we need to look at the tutorial of Wynncraft.

But wait! No assassin means no basics. So we can't look there. We need to look at the end. At A Hunter's Calling.

A lot of things beyond this are spoilers for the end of Wynn. Click away now if you don't want spoilers for the penultimate quest.












Okay, now that that's all cleared up.

I think it's pretty important to note that one of the final people you fight in AHC is Aledar, who seems to be an assassin-ish character. Oh. So THAT'S where the assassin went.

ALEDAR ENT SR.



he even has a dagger! and is level 101. suspicious

Anyways, the dagger that he's using matches exactly two daggers.

Two daggers are tossed onstage from SR. They stick in the stage, DSC.



Saltine and Lockpick. We don't know his armor loadout so we'll just assume that he has some eart defense strengthening armor.

I don't know why he'd be using Lockpick so we'll assume he's using Saltine.

ALEDAR picks up dagger and throws it into the house, then EXT via the house. Stagehand swaps out other dagger for packet of saltines in the ensuing chaos.

Like the crackers.



Oh.

42 kcal.

I guess it DOES come back to 42. Which is from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. And now we have everything to definitively prove that Rekindled is the Illuminati.

See, the reason why 42 was chosen for the book is right here.

Projector screen lowers from the fly system. Quote is projected.

"The answer to this is very simple. It was a joke. It had to be a number, an ordinary, smallish number, and I chose that one. Binary representations, base thirteen, Tibetan monks are all complete nonsense. I sat at my desk, stared into the garden and thought '42 will do' I typed it out. End of story."

And that, FBI's most and least wanted, is why Rekindled is the Illuminati.

It will do.

KLEPTO X CS, EXT CS.

Curtain.

Spoiler: Post-Script

And that's all folks. That's all she wrote. We're done! Yay! Anyways, my return to Wynn is in question as I really don't have the pc power to run modern Wynn, especially with all the new models and effects. I've been gone for too long. Maybe if this computer gets better, then I will return. But it is dubious, unfortunately. See y'all around!

Spoiler: Obligatory photo

 

Spoiler: a

Finally a good shitpost. I need more.