An unhinged rant about how much I know about America as an east Asian

I've been on English-speaking internet since i was like 5 and i've accumulated far more knowledge about the states than any Taiwanese should have (at least no one i know personally knows more about the states than i do)

i'm posting this here cuz i don't know which subreddit is best for this, i don't want to use reddit, and no one would hear me yell on twitter dot com
so uhh yeah wynncraft forum's off topic section it is then :v

california:
the origin of way too much media and source of much of america's soft power
contains san francisco (north) and los angeles (south)
silicon valley (shivers from the thought of tech companies)
in-and-out
highways congested 24/7 (trains, bikes, walkable city layouts ftw btw)
has enough people to have 50 electoral votes wtf i thought this place was supposed to be dry af

oregon:
has a trail
north of california
according to matpat the most likely candidate of springfield from the simpsons

washington state:
north of oregon
why is it given the same name as the capital city on the OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY?
contains seattle which contains valve software
starbucks (sells absurdly sugary caffinated cream-containing stuff in a cup with your mispelled name on it; also bubble tea is the superior caffinated dessert in a cup >:) (made in taiwan) )

arizona:
east of california i think
crap i checked google maps and just realized pheonix is here and not in texas i failed geography
people here live in lawn-containing suburban houses despite it being a fricking desert

nevada:
also east of california (at this point i've opened google maps so my geography knowledge is no longer impressive)
las vegas
jerma lives here

new mexico:
albuquerque:
bugs bunny takes wrong turns here
according to weird al the donut shop here is basically all out of stock (the song is deliberately way too long)
breaking call saul!

utah:
salt lake city
i should not mention religion here but this region is just too famous for them
jello

idaho, montana, wyoming, north dakota, south dakota, nebraska, kansas, iowa, missouri:
these exist?!

texas:
contains houston and austin
beeg
has a separate power grid for some reason
toast
engineer from tf2

lousiana:
cajun cuisine
influenced by the french
new orleans (fun fact: in china and taiwan there is a dish called new orleans chicken that does not exist in new orleans)

arkansas, mississipi, albama, georgia, south carolina, north carolina, virginia, kentucky, indiana, illinois, wisconsin:
oh yeah these exist too

oklahoma:
home to a cowboy youtuber
onion burgers (would like to try one someday)

west virginia
mountain mama
take me home
country roads

minneSODA‼️‼️

chicago:
i remember this more than the state it's in, what a shame (for illinois)
gave itself an L
deep dish pizza

michigan:
got the upper peninsula for some reason
according to google maps michigan contains detroit

ohio:
that one meme state for some reason
contains scott the woz
contains cincinatti chili
contains cleveland
contains flipline studios (maker of papa's pizzeria (they still make games to this day))

pennsylvania, delaware, new york, conneticut, rhode island, massachusetts, new hampshire, maine:
guess these exist too

new york city:
of course i know about this place i just didn't want to use the term upstate new york
pizza
bagel
pasta (ragu with tomato isn't authentic, alfredo is looked down upon by italian writers (also wasn't invented here), no one can get cacio e pepe or carbonara right, meatballs are american, also look at the pasta japanese, taiwanese, chinese, hong kongers, fillipino and east/southeast asians in general eat, they will make italians faint)
brooklyn, manhatten, queens, bronx, staten island
really confusing subway
weren't, like, three infinity stones in here at the same time?

new jersey:
sorta an extension to new york city?

boston:
i remember this more than massachusetts, what a shame
scout from jerma from tf2
according to google maps, to the west of boston is worcester (the funny sauce!)

vermont:
ben & jerry's
bernie sanders

hawaii:
spam musubi
consists of four (main) islands
forever cursed by hawaiian pizza (pineapples didn't originate here for god's sake)

alaska:
its capital city juneau does not have road connections to the mainland for some reason
anchorage
tasty fish

washington dc:
why did virginia have to take a bite off of it? so rude
the world's craziest crap happens here
many desperately want it to be a state

puerto rico:
similar statehood desires as dc
arroz con gandules

virgin islands, guam, other military bases in places like okinawa


i will maybe do not care if i get any of this information wrong
i will care if this incites regional/national emotions

anyways if you have any questions regarding taiwan feel free to ask me; why did i do this; i will regret posting this (gulp)

 

Extension of NYC and Philadelphia, with some (bad) shore stuff, and a little bit of redneck in the northwest
Traffic is awful, politics are corrupt, and the people are rude, but at least we're diverse and have good food

 

dc statehood

 

As a Missourian who recently learned they were conceived in Ohio

i am shocked the state of Missouri is real i just thought it was a voice in my head

 

Just know that the entire west coast is depressing, the northern part because it is always raining and the southern part mostly because it never rains so everything is on fire

 

friend of mine working at ben and jerrys lives in vermont

 

Honestly Chicago is the only relevant part of Illinois anyway

 

allow me to explain
you see, us arizonans have water and soil. that is what grass needs to grow.
thank you for coming to my TED talk.

 

my farming skill went up by 57 levels thank you so much for your informative talk