Community Event Time to be funny and earn LE for it

This giveaway is now closed! The winner has been chosen and has received their prize.
Any comments posted after this edit will not be eligible.

So I have 2.5stx of LE just sitting in my bank, and I, in a flash of ADHD fueled inspiration thought to myself: How funny are people, really? So, everybody can comment ONE joke on this post, and after some time I will pick the best one to get the 2.5stx. First, a few rules if you wish to be eligible for the money:

1. Abide by the Wynncraft forums rules
2. Only one joke allowed. I know that's a kinda loose term, but if it feels like cheating, it's probably cheating.
3. Must include your full discord username. (Otherwise no way to get the money)
4. Be PG-family friendly.
5. Don't get mad at me if you don't win or if I deem your joke not eligible. I'm just some random dude on the internet with 2.5stx and a stupid idea.
6. The joke must be just text. No images, no videos or anything of the sort.
7. Be funny

This giveaway will stop at sometime around noon EDT 4/24/2023 (might be a little earlier or later idk). I'll edit the post to say that it's closed once that happens, then I'll message whoever I think had the funniest joke and let them know them that they win the money.
Any jokes submitted after closing will not be eligible. Have fun!

 

brb getting my book of jokes stolen from withthefish

 

*ahem* ... Colossal Rat. I will have my 2.5 stx of le rn tyvm.

Discord: Xx_Da_Homeboi_xX#0578

 

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Spoiler

ground beef

Discord: Plasma#3716

 

So, recently, I’ve been taking daily walks. Improves my mental and physical health, you know? It’s just good to get out sometimes. To feel where the road will take me. Though, I’ve been having an issue.

You see, every day—Every. Single. Day.—I take a walk, no matter where I go, some smug asshat comes along and mows me down. Right where I stand. He rides up on his shitty little blue and silver bike and just WHAM! Smacks right into me before riding off. Always ringing that stupid little bell as he does so. **RING RING!! RING RING!!** God.

I try and try to catch him or see him coming, but I haven’t been able to yet. He’s just too quick and sneaky. Leaves me with a big bruise that usually lasts a few hours, if not the entire day. I’ve been meaning to tell someone… but, I don’t know, I just feel like I’d be more accomplished if I caught the guy myself, right?

Needless to say, it’s a vicious cycle.

Egg2#7162

 

I named my dog 5 miles just to say I walked 5 miles.

 

Wanna hear the world's shortest joke?

Spoiler

Wanna hear it again?

MrKranky#3855

 

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Spoiler: a

Where's my tractor?

ocel0t#3545

 

eating the food for thought rn

highbread#1677

 

There was a man who was caught speeding, when he pulled over the cop said,
"Sir, It's 5 minutes until the end of my shift, if you can give me an excuse I have never heard before, I'll let you go.."
without batting an eye he said,
"You see officer, 10 years ago my wife left me for a Policeman, I thought you were chasing me down to give her back!"
after hearing this the Officer said,
"Have a nice day sir!"

TotalTelemetry#1367

 

What's the worst combination of diseases? Alzheimer's and Diarrhea. You're running but you can't remember why...

AsdAsdAsd#8458

 

So a cop pulled me over last night. He asked "papers"

I said "Scissors, I win!"

He stared at me dumbfounded and let me pass. I was not wearing a seatbelt.

Nero101X#7185

 

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit are donating blood. The rabbit says, "I think I'm a Type O."

Discord: Happygator#9918

 

What do you call a book club that has been stuck on a book for centuries?

A Church

Discord: ABYSS#5021

 

I've been on a wheelchair for 4 years now and my bro decided to show me these jokes. I just wanna thank yall for making me get up of my wheelchair to close this tab off

Spoiler: yes

Chill its a joke :p

 

A father had three daughters.

The first one asked "Daddy, why am I called Rose?"
The father answered, "Because when you were little, a rose petal fell on your head."

The second daughter asked "Daddy, why is my name Daisy?"
Upon which the father responded, "Because when you were little, a daisy landed on your head."

The third daughter said "aeghegueguaggh"
And the father answered "Shut up, Cinderblock!"

 

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Spoiler

your mother

Discord: stinkey#7885