Wynncraft Vs Donald Trump

Spoiler: Very important disclaimer

joke post lol

It was just a normal day like any other. I was walking around the park, enjoying the view and thinking about life. These kind of walks are just what I need if I want to get better. Lately I've been really distressed. It feels like in the blink of an eye I've lost control over everything in my life. My parents refuse to talk to me unless I take some of those weird "pills" the doctors prescribed, but it's like everything around me just looses its magic once I take them. Anyways, I digress. The walk was going smoothly and all. That is, until I noticed a peculiar rodent walking amongst the leaves on the ground. It was a rat. But not any rat, quite a chubby one. It had a big quantity of mass, indeed. Perhaps some would even call it a colossal rat.
I was completely and utterly dumbfounded. The Colossal Rat from Wynncraft was right in front of me. Could this be real? Well, of course it is, dummy! Anyone would recognize the funny meme rat!! But how could this be, Wynncraft is just a silly video game, no? Thoughts were rushing through my head, so I decided it would be better if I just calmed down for a moment and tried to come to a conclusion. But it all led to the same answer. And just as I was starting to ponder my sanity, I felt a burst of confidence, telling me that I was right. I let those thoughts fill my mind, and it all made sense.
It was Donald Trump.

Spoiler: Image of the menace

Donald Trump had made Wynncraft real and I couldn't let this be, this man is a menace. I always had a bad feeling about the guy, the way his hair looks is enough to send shivers down my spine. He had paid some crazy scientist to transform video games into the real world, I was sure of it! And they chose Wynncraft because not many people know about it, so I was probably the only one who had noticed the changes in the real world. So, without further ado, I picked up the Colossal Rat into my pocket (minecraft inventory) and embarked on a journey to stop Donald Trump.

Spoiler: the big fella himself :D

Alright, first I needed to get myself some cool weapons, and I knew just who could provide me with them. I walked into a group of cool kids, they were using some gold rings and... wait... is that a ruby necklace????? Oh crap! They were rocking a morph set, they must've already gotten note of the fact that Wynncraft is real! This was my lucky day, for sure. I tried to act cool to fit in, I talked about a few memes I found on twitter, absolutely hilarious ones. I couldn't tell if this had any effect, so I just skipped straight to the point. "Yo fellas, y'all got some of those drippin mythic weapons, long range, preferably". The gang leader looked at me a bit confused and asked "What's that?". Oh, well nevermind... I guess I acted a bit hastily after seeing the ""morph rings"" and all those accessories they were using. Honestly, it was a bit stupid of me to think that they'd be selling wynncraft "weapons" like some kind of wacky game npc. I, OF COURSE, should have know that they would pretend like they didn't know anything!!! Sneaky!! These guys know the ins and outs of contraband, they can't let anyone know about what they're selling, what if a cop finds out?? Or even worse, Donald Trump!

Spoiler: the gang leader and the crew(its technically just johnny since the others didnt want to take a photo but it doesnt matter)

I made sure that they understood I was trustworthy, but they still insisted that they didn't know what a mythic weapon was. I told them how they deal a lot of damage and are better than the other weapon types, one guy even asked "Is that some kind of gun you're talking about?". The gang leader then also joined in, saying that if I needed a gun he could provide it, as long as I had the cash, of course. (Makes sense, they were comfortable talking about guns but not about wynn weapons because they are far stronger). I was visibly upset, they didn't want to sell me the mythic weapons. The leader noticed this and said "Listen dude, I don't know what kind of "weapon" you are talking about, but I assure you that a gun will fill that role. If you don't want anything else then just leave, and I'm already being way nicer than I should, but I'll let this one slide because those twitter memes were actually really funny lol". Well, I didn't want a gun, so after a bit of back and forth I settled for a dagger. It wasn't long ranged like I originally wanted but it'll do. I also bought some sacks with green stuff to infuse the dagger with. Atleast they were willing to sell me earth powders, though I must say, the prices did inflate a lot.

Spoiler: dagger before being infused with earth

Now that I was properly equipped I just needed to find Donald Trump and fight him. Now, I would normally take a flight or something since his residence is pretty far away, but that costs way too much and I'm already poor from buying all the cool stuff, so I just decided to run until I get there. I actually got pretty tired at one point but then I remembered that pain was only a concept so I kinda just kept running

Spoiler: lel

Now, I had finally made it to where Donald Trump lived, I just needed a way to get inside his house. The place was riddled with guards. I tried to look up a guide online but I didnt know the name of the quest so yeah. I started by throwing a rock to distract the guard in the entrance, but instead the rock hit him in the nuts and he fell over like the walter white meme

Spoiler: my aim isnt that bad I swear it probably just changed direction mid air for comedic effect

Alright after that other guards called reinforcements but it was too late, I had already used the opportunity to sneak into Trump's house. (And I also stabbed the downed guard 22 times in the chest)(He had a stab proof vest so it didn't matter)
This was it. This was the moment I had been waiting for. It was time to end this. Now. (Well not really "now" since the events are being told in the past simple, therefore they happened in the past not the present but who cares)
I walked into the room where Donald Trump was and there I found him, in his chair, petting his... pet bird? "That's right young one, I have seen your journey from afar. Quite the intriguing guess you made about who was the culprit behind all this madness, but it was nothing more than that, a guess, you do not know anything about our plans, and you'll never know. That is... unless I understimated you, and you are able to put one and one together.", said Trump.
(Honestly kinda different from what I thought he would say, I thought he would talk about doing a little trolling or something like the internet people say he does. Look man idk its just not what I expected alright, I normally hear him talking about making walls and eating burgers or some crap like that)
But he was right, he had understimated me. I had understood what his intentions were. That bird he was petting... it was Ava!!(the one bird from corkus people call sexy) Or well, atleast it was soon going to be.
"That look you are making... Yes, you already know the truth, don't you, boy? For years I have yearned for the chance to be near Ava, to feel her feathers, to feel her warmth. My family called me crazy, they abandoned me, but now, they will come back begging for forgiveness once they see just what I have achieved! No more lonely nights, no more single status on facebook, this is it, I will transform this bird into my lovely Ava!" he said.
"But Trump, you can't do this! Clearly, you are about to tear the seams of reality if you so wish to transmute something as simple as a bird into a woman to fulfill your sexual urges. The power required to do that is enough to fuse the past, present and future into one timeline! Are you even aware of the fact that you won't be able to enjoy having Ava by your side if reality as you know it is torn into shreds?" I responded (I got this knowledge from watching Game Theory videos on youtube)
"Yes... My men told me about the dangers of performing such a feat. However, our previous test run had already worked. We managed to pull some features from Wynncraft into the real world without causing too much pressure on reality's fabric. One wrong move might still end up tearing the universe into two, but that's a sacrifice that must be done.", acknowledged Trump, right before focusing his vision on a big red button.
He was about to press it, when I pulled out my dagger and slammed the ground with it, causing Quake to trigger and knocking Trump off his balance. (I stabbed that other guard to charge it)
"Fool! It is far too late to stop me now!" he said as he pressed some kind of remote he had inside of his suit.
The machine was powering on, I could feel the ground beneath me shaking more than Quake had even managed to. I saw some kind of lazer device coming out from the walls and locking onto the poor bird. He was about to be turned into an anime waifu, I couldn't believe it. Upon being humanified, the poor birdy would now have to live with the burden of knowledge, truly the stuff of nightmares.
I didn't know what to do. The shaking from the machine wasn't allowing me to get up, and it's not like I would have been able to do anything to stop the machine. However, I felt something in my pocket. It couldn't be...
Just as I thought all hope was lost, Colossal Rat jumped out from my pocket. He was rushing towards the bird.
"COLOSSAL RAT, NO!!!!" I said, but it was worthless.
The brave fella threw himself onto the bird just as the machine shot the waifu-fying lazers, saving the bird but putting himself in the middle of the point of fire.
It was painful, it really was.
He didn't scream though, for he was brave, braver than most.
When it all ended, for a few moments a flash filled the room. I closed my eyes instinctively. But when I opened them, an anime waifu wasn't waiting for me... It was good ol' Colossal Rat!!!! Now more colossal than ever before

Spoiler: YOOOOOO!!

Trump was clearly shocked, but he had something to say: "This... this must be because of the way the machine works... The machine will analyze the room, and will capture the strongest wishes of people. This will cause the machine t-" Yeah bruh like idk. The rat kinda went up to trump and he died of the black plage or something like that idk.

The End :D

 

Bro what is this

 

Just some good ol' fun, only thick skinned individuals like me understand it tho (I go to the gym 6 times per week, fear me)

 

I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids

 

johnny will be missed

 

what the hell did I just read

 

Btw I might as well comment here to ask you people for feedback and also to give some insight on the post.
I find it fun sometimes writing these silly little stories when I'm bored and have nothing else to do. This one in particular got a bit out of scope, but that was because I genuinely liked having to scroll google for stock images of a rat and donald trump.
This is why I also want these stories to be entertaining for you guys. You might hate everything I wrote and think I have a mental illness, but as long as it actually got you entertained for those 5 minutes where you read the story then that's fine by me.
It's really not that deep, I just think that these types of things are cool and I want to contribute some wynn related content to the forums (even if vaguely)
So yeah, tell me what you think and what I should improve on (more images, talk less/more about this and that, more wynn references, etc...). Story ideas are also always welcomed.
I will be taking my leave now, but always remember the lesson you learned here today, rats are better than waifus.

 

I was laughing so hard by the time I finally got to “The rat kinda went up to trump and and he died of the Black Plague or something like that idk” very funny story good job

 

Thanks man, I really appreciate it

 

Johnnys story was so sad...

 

10/10 Would read again

 

legit how did you even

 

I'm waiting for the live-action remake of this. When is it going to release?