SPOILER THEORY: What ACTUALLY Happened to Bob

Let's go over the facts.

Before his disappearance, Bob imbued his power into three animals. Cluckles, the chicken, Mooington, the cow, and Baab, the sheep.

Bob stated in his letters he was going to seal away a "dark creature of the night in a land 'far' away." Note the quotes surrounding "far."

Many jump to the conclusion that this actually refers to Dern Beast. But the truth is, the actual meaning is far darker.

But consider this:

The rooster is representative of France;
the bull, of Spain;
and sheep, of Greek Arcadia.

Who was born in Greece? Who was educated in France? Who has relations to the royal family of Spain?

That's right.

Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh.



Let's look at the aforementioned quote again. It talks of a "dark creature." Can we really take this for what it is, though? There were many obfuscated areas throughout the letters, so can we truly trust this bit to be true to the original intent of the author?

I think not.

Prince Philip was born the Prince of Greece and Denmark. Denmark starts with "d" and ends with "ark," just like "dark." I believe that Bob did not intend to write "dark," as in lacking light or shadowy, but rather "Denmark."

As for "far," he is simply using verbal irony. England is not actually very far from Europe.

So, we know that Bob is actually referring to the royal family of England.

Why, though?

Well, he then mentions in the same letter: "... it poses a threat to all... I am going to challenge the beast and attempt to seal it away using my..."

Simply put, Bob is going to seal away the British.

Many will argue that Britain is a threat to the world, so I will omit further explanation on that part; however my theory remains intact.



TL;DR: Bob didn't go to Dern; rather, he is going to eliminate the British.

 

Can't wait to go to the British dimension and kill Queen Elizabeth

 

This guy can make anything sound convincing

 

Nah, he went to Betweenlands to kill Prime Wight and that is the truth.

 

But of course... that's why the Eye speaks Irish, because it got ripped out of the Dern Beast, and Ireland also seperated itself from the UK in 1922! And guess what you find when you look up "Ireland government building"?



LITERALLY EO.
And that makes the Dublin Spire the Obelisk, giving "hope" to the people around it (because Dublin sucks (I hate Dublin (just live in Cork))).

So now we can assume that the Dern Beast is a dark creature, from the British Isles, drunk with power, and obviously missing an—

Spoiler

Dern Beast is Demoman TF2.

 

Fruma is Britain and the Fruman queen is Elizabeth

 

get ready for big news on october 17th, 2023, 10:48:23 AM

 

Me omw to do nothing wrong on October 17th 2023 during 10:48:23 am

 

Queen Elizabeth is immortal you fool.

 

immortal, not invulnerable

 

I wrote this in the evening and reading it again I realize the number of errors present in my work
It is still simply undeniable that Bob is going to seal away the British though

 

Stank you hack stop bullying the British. You have a Bak’al picture and claim to be the holy leader of the Nether. What comes from the Nether? Corruption!

Some of you here may not be educated as to the intricacies of the Wyncraf Lore but Corruption is very important. Bak’al, the once human brute which is in fact the stinkiest of all cookies is infested with Corruption… and what does the Corruption serve? Dern! Stinkey serves Dern!

Some of you may rember that there is a cutscene where Bak’al (or rather the aforementioned bad smell) talks directly to Dern. Stunker should clearly know who dern is without any theorizing becuz they work for them, so I think something else is happening here. I think the fart scented ocular device brownie which we know to be the corrupted human servant of dren has been shiftily throwing us all off the trail of the true Dern. We shod all be very watchful of the wallets in the time of crisis. Next thing you know they say I the dern beast! Is consoricy against the people! We bad day! Bad bad day!

TLdr: Don trust le stink. Cookies bad for digestion.

 

shit who told them about this

 

bob wont win against me in a fist fight dont worry

 

As a British citizen I can confirm that our numbers have fallen and our dimension is crumbling as I speak. He will find us soon…

 

You buffoon. Complete and utter buffoon: that is what you are. Who do you think you are to rally against my claims? You have a General Skien picture and your sanity is very clearly not intact. Who has been exposed to Corruption? Skien!

Some of you here may not be educated as to the intricacies of the Wyncraf Lore but Corruption is very important. Skien, the once human brute which is in fact the most foolish of all bashers is infested with Corruption… and what does the Corruption serve? Dern! Ballsblasher serves Dern!

Some of you may rember that there is a sign describing how Skien (or rather the aforementioned fool) gets corrupted by the corruption. "Fooling Around With These Nuts" should clearly know who dern is without any theorizing becuz they work for them, so I think something else is happening here. I think the naive explosion pummeler which we know to be the corrupted human general ie sken has been shiftily throwing us all off the trail of the true Dern. We shod all be very watchful of the wallets in the time of crisis. Next thing you know they say AMOg the dern beast! Is consoricy against the people! We bad day! Bad bad day!

TLdr: Don trust vous êtes un individu assez stupide, vous frappez ces noix avec vigueur, les faites exploser et les martelez avec la puissance de dix mille tuyaux électriques. Blasts bad for digestion.