Guide How To (correctly) Make Horrible Wynncraft Choices!

Hi and welcome back to this weeks installment of "****posts with pixelpresident" in today's top tier post I'll teach you how to make horrible choices in wynncraft with style.

Step 1: Go on the forums/discord/game and ask people what level they did something. For instance I saw people being told not to horse gamble until level 80, to never gamble your best horse, and to have a set amount of emeralds you're going to risk on horses.

Step 2: Break every rule. I broke all of those rules by taking all my wealth out of my bank (1 LE ~30 EB) and purchased as many brown horses as I could with no set amount of money that I wanted to risk (granted I was only risking 1.5-2 LE at most), gambled my maxed black horse, and did it at level 50. If you attempt(s) at doing stupid stuff go well go to step 3a, if your attempts went poorly proceed to step 3b.

Step 3a: Flex on the haters. I received a chestnut horse after gambling my max black, and a new black so I get to flex. If you soloed LI naked with nothing but one of the depressing weapons, or accomplished a similar feat, your flex should be making someone else organize a parade in your honor throughout wynn. Also force people to give you gifts of LE and scream "we're not worthy" anytime you parade by (or walk by because that stupid hILL IS SLIGHTLY TOO TALL FOR MY HORSE TO JUMP AND I CAN'T MOVEMENT SPELL UP IT BECAUSE TOTEM WON'T GO WHERE I WANT SCREW YOU TOTEM.)

Step 3b: Regret choices. You failed, and now you want to cry. Cry not young soldier, you will accomplish your goal one day, just keep doing stupid stuff.

Step 4: DON'T DO STUPID STUFF IRL OR YOU GET A FREE 2 BED 1 BATH APARTMENT THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS
Step 5: Let fame go to your head, and then fall into a pit of despair when some guy that joined last week did whatever you did but better, quit wynncraft for 2 years, then stage a comeback and be famous again for 15 minutes. Rinse and repeat as necessary.

 

“Hey, you know what would be funny?”
“No, what?”
“If I narcissistically talk about myself for 7 paragraphs and try my best to disguise it as an unrelatable shitpost.”
“Haha, yeah, that’d totally rock, you should try it.”

 

That's half the joke, read step 3a and step 5.

 

Fished for a ratio and sadly turned up dry